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Trumpocalypse Now - Page 854

post #42651 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boone Daniels View Post

Oh, and Doug Jones was sworn in alongside Tina Smith today.

51-49, motherfuckers.
I can't find any information on this, but did Roy Moore dissolve into a cloud of darkness and smoke and evaporate in the light of day to the sound of a silent scream?
post #42652 of 45069

He was shunted. 

post #42653 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post


I can't find any information on this, but did Roy Moore dissolve into a cloud of darkness and smoke and evaporate in the light of day to the sound of a silent scream?


I believe the last reports had him heading northeast out of Alabama, struggling to remain in the saddle of the horse he was riding.

post #42654 of 45069

Absolutely fucking golden:

 

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/12/29/1728522/-Dear-F-cking-Lunatic-An-open-letter-to-Donald-Trump

 

Quote:

I read with interest your recent interview with The New York Times. I couldn't get past the bit about your being the most popular visitor in the history of fucking China — a country that’s only 2,238 years old, give or take.

 

Do you know how fucking insane you sound, you off-brand butt plug? That's like the geopolitical equivalent of "that stripper really likes me" — only 10,000 times crazier and less self-aware.

 

You are fucking exhausting. Every day is a natural experiment in determining how long 300 million people can resist coring out their own assholes with an ice auger. Every time I hear a snippet of your Queens-tinged banshee larynx farts, I want to crawl up my own ass with a Union Jack and claim my sigmoid colon for HRH Queen Elizabeth II.

 

We are fucking tired. As bad as we all thought your presidency would be when Putin got you elected, it's been inestimably worse. You called a hostile, nuclear-armed head of state "short and fat." How the fuck does that help?

 

You accused a woman — a former friend, no less — of showing up at your resort bleeding from the face and begging to get in. You, you, YOU — the guy who looks like a Christmas haggis inexplicably brought to life by Frosty's magic hat — yes, you of all people said that.

post #42655 of 45069
Steve Bannon looks like the type of guy who never flushes the toilet after taking a shit..

...would probably finish a foot long chili cheese dog while dropping a deuce in a porta potty.

...buys brown underwear because "it's cheaper than toilet paper in the long run."
post #42656 of 45069
Steve Bannon looks like a supervillain called Armpit Putty Man.
post #42657 of 45069
Steve Bannon looks like one of the Garbage Pail Kids if they grew up..
post #42658 of 45069

Bannon the Cannon.

post #42659 of 45069
Steve Bannon looks like the Blue Fairy turned Chucky into a real boy, plus fifty years.
post #42660 of 45069
Steve Bannon looks like Rosie O'Donnell wearing Ed Gein's woman suit..
post #42661 of 45069

Steve Bannon is Gabe Toro's last friend on LiveJournal. 

post #42662 of 45069
Steve Bannon looks like the fish dinner that made everyone sick in "Airplane!".
post #42663 of 45069

Steve Bannon is absolutely one of those guys who doesn't wipe his ass because touching the butt is gay stuff.

post #42664 of 45069
Steve Bannon looks like the Donald Trump prop that gets disemboweled at a Gwar concert.
post #42665 of 45069

Steve Bannon is Rick Baker's greatest creation.

post #42666 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fafhrd View Post

Steve Bannon is absolutely one of those guys who doesn't wipe his ass because touching the butt is gay stuff.
That is legit one of the nastiest most disturbing real things that some people actually do that I've heard of in a long time. How do those people even function in society?
post #42667 of 45069

Steve Bannon looks like the grim and gritty reboot of Newt Gingrich.

post #42668 of 45069

   Quote:

Originally Posted by Jmacq1 View Post

Don’t get too excited folks. This is probably just about Nunes’ bullshit. With Wray and Rosenstein explaining that handing over what he wants would compromise the FBI investigations because they know Nunes would leak it all immediately. Or at the least give copies to Trump and the White House.

 

This is basically what Scott Dworkin confirms, too:

 

post #42669 of 45069
Nunes going down in flames would be fucking glorious.
post #42670 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dent6084 View Post

Steve Bannon looks like the grim and gritty reboot of Newt Gingrich.

This checks out.
post #42671 of 45069

I would've loved to have seen Nunes get the shit kicked out of him at the polls, but simply being driven out of Congress would be quite wonderful.

post #42672 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post


That is legit one of the nastiest most disturbing real things that some people actually do that I've heard of in a long time. How do those people even function in society?


The thing I don't get is it's always the girlfriend or wife talking about their man doing this and it's like 'WHY DID YOU CONTINUE TO DATE AND/OR MARRY THAT PERSON?'

post #42673 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fafhrd View Post
 


The thing I don't get is it's always the girlfriend or wife talking about their man doing this and it's like 'WHY DID YOU CONTINUE TO DATE AND/OR MARRY THAT PERSON?'

 

Because the [INSERT DISTASTEFUL THINGS] are irrelevant to the reasons they found them attractive and/or marriage-worthy?  

post #42674 of 45069

Ewwww. That's really a thing? Like, such a thing that a fair percentage of people do it?

post #42675 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dent6084 View Post

Steve Bannon looks like the grim and gritty reboot of Newt Gingrich.

This is fucking hilarious.
post #42676 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post

Nunes going down in flames would be fucking glorious.

 

Christmas in January! It's like the Black Mirror pilot, if the Prime Minister's coffee-boy had volunteered to fuck the pig first, and ended up as a Lucky Pierre between them. And then gave them both herpes.

post #42677 of 45069
https://mobile.twitter.com/maddow/status/948697699464949763

Nunes about to learn that used car salesman bullshit aint gonna run too far in more serious circles.
post #42678 of 45069

Heh heh heh.

post #42679 of 45069
https://mobile.twitter.com/kyledcheney/status/948682280381435904

Most relevant takeaway there is that Mueller is hot and heavy into the Steele Dossier and Nunes can fuck off trying to interfere.

2018, I have hopes for you.
post #42680 of 45069

Steve Bannon looks like the seven deadly sins in human form.

 

Steve Bannon looks like the results of drinking Old Grand Dad on an empty stomach.

 

Steve Bannon looks like Bourbon Street after Mardi Gras. Smells like it too.

post #42681 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTRan View Post

this illustration made me laugh.


Wjere is the empty 6 pack of diet coke?
post #42682 of 45069

...On the plus side, my school district just called a snow day tomorrow (my phone literally just rang), so now I'll be able to stay glued to the news all day when I wake up regarding all this Nunes/Trump crap.

post #42683 of 45069

Imagine having to delve into the mind games between these two shitheads.

Bannon says if Trump fires Mueller, there will be impeachment.

Trump surmises Bannon WANTS him impeached, so is speaking 'opposite' to trick him. But Bannon knows that Trump knows that, and they both know that they know.... 

Where does iocane powder come from again?

post #42684 of 45069

It was confirmed last year, now confirmed again today, but Hope Hicks fucking Lewandowski is so gross. Co-workers bone all the time, but I can't get over this one. They're all deranged.

post #42685 of 45069

Nunes going down is a great way to start the year.

 

Btw, I know this is trivial, but...

 

Quote:
 

In a preview of his tell-all book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, journalist Michael Wolff claims that Trump’s “longtime fear of being poisoned” has affected his dining choices.

 

It’s “one reason why he liked to eat at McDonald’s—nobody knew he was coming and the food was safely premade,” Wolff wrote

 

The first time in history that someone fearing poisoning went to McDonalds.

 

Also, I fully expect the next tell-all book to be, "The President Ate My Jizz: Confessions of a Drive-Thru Server"

post #42686 of 45069
Digby read Wolff's book so that we won't have to, and here's the best quote from the entire piece:

Quote:
Hicks and Trump had a very close relationship, and Trump's inner circle saw her as something of a daughter to the president. "[Hope] Hicks was in fact thought of as Trump’s real daughter, while Ivanka was thought of as his real wife.


post #42687 of 45069
Bruh that's fucked up
post #42688 of 45069

Ajit Pai cancels his CES appearance:

 

http://variety.com/2018/politics/news/ajit-pai-ces-canceled-1202652628/

 

Andrew Cuomo officially throws down the lawsuit gauntlet on the tax bill:

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/gov-cuomo-state-will-sue-to-block-federal-tax-overhaul/ar-BBHNI49

post #42689 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by neil spurn View Post

Ewwww. That's really a thing? Like, such a thing that a fair percentage of people do it?
Yes. It really is. Like.....not cleaning themselves at all. Just blowing mud and pulling their pants up. And then their girlfriends finding skid marks on his side of the bed or, worse yet, going down on the dude and being surprised in just the most awful way possible.

Steve Bannon looks like the type of guy who hangs out at XXX theaters and waits till closing so he can buy the freshly used mop..
post #42690 of 45069

Maggie Haberman just tweeted:

 

post #42691 of 45069

Not sure what to make of that...

post #42692 of 45069

Just more paranoia.

post #42693 of 45069

Paranoia within, or paranoia for us?

post #42694 of 45069

Yes.

post #42695 of 45069

If they're paranoid about leaks, I'm not sure what the cell phone change is supposed to do about that.

post #42696 of 45069

My favorite bit:

 

Quote:
 

 the phone was his true contact point with the world — to a small group of friends, who charted his rising and falling levels of agitation through the evening and then compared notes with one another.

 

As details of Trump’s personal life leaked out, he became obsessed with identifying the leaker. The source of all the gossip, however, may well have been Trump himself.

post #42697 of 45069

Trump's attorney sent Bannon a cease and desist.

post #42698 of 45069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iron Maiden View Post
 

Trump's attorney sent Bannon a cease and desist.


Oh this oughta be good....

post #42699 of 45069
Maybe he just called him a diseased human cyst..
post #42700 of 45069
Bannon looks like he got a cease and desist....

...from his liver
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