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Transformers. The Last Knight (Michael Bay, 2017) May God have mercy on us all...

post #1 of 519
Thread Starter 

Well, one of us had to do this:

 

 

My thoughts?

 

It looks awful, and any cheese potential of Transformers fighting knights or nazis is negated by Bay's involvement.

At least these movies ensure Peter Cullen a good paycheck.

I swear those bipedal mechs are a straight ripoff of Metal Gear Solid 4.

This is the perfect movie to start Trump's presidential year.

Thats about it

post #2 of 519

Wait. 

 

Does this begin with a series of historical battles including medieval Europe with a dragon flying over it?

 

"History is for pussies!" - Michael Bay

post #3 of 519

Never watched three and four. MichaelM claims three has deep layers to it.

 

Doubtful!

post #4 of 519
I probably won't see this.
post #5 of 519

I can't believe there are so many of these movies. It's like when you hear about a serial killer and you're reading through all of their crimes wondering why nobody stopped them earlier. Oh, the horror! 

post #6 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
 

Never watched three and four. MichaelM claims three has deep layers to it.

 

Doubtful!

 

I don't know about deep layers but it's better than Revenge of The Fallen at least. 

 

Then again, waking up on the operating table is better than Revenge of The Fallen. 

 

Also, this looks stupid. And not the fun kind of stupid. 

post #7 of 519

Yeah, around the time a supermodel terminator, something I'm pretty sure has never occurred again in this series, tried to seduce Shia I checked out of Revenge of the Fallen.

 

By the time Shia went to robot heaven I wanted to burn Hollywood down.

post #8 of 519

OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT ROBOT HEAVEN! 

 

There really is only one Transformers movie worth a damn and it's the one with Stan Bush doing the soundtrack.

 

Stan Bush > Linkin Park

post #9 of 519

No. No. No. I've been burnt way too many times to go through this again.

 

This looks the same kind of shit i endured during DINO4.

post #10 of 519

Sitting through Extinction was possibly made worth it for me after the fact when I heard TJ Miller tell the story of working on the movie and pissing off Michael Bay on set by being himself but apparently too much of a goof for the serious movie happening around him.

 

It really helped explain...

 

Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
why they killed his character off in the most brutal and graphic way 35 minutes into the movie.
 
His character was the only bright-spot in the whole thing.
 
But hearing that story explained that wtf scene and that choice of killing off the movie's actual comic relief and abandoning anything funny.

 

I'll admit it, I went for the Wahlberg. I got more than I bargained for.

 

ETA:

 

Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)

Also, he took like 40 people to the theater to watch the movie with him for the first time, thinking they could all laugh at it.

 

Of course he knew he died, but not so soon in the running time.

 
The movie is like 3 hours but they all sat through the rest of it in silence. He felt terrible about it.

Edited by Bill - 12/6/16 at 6:29am
post #11 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

Wait. 

Does this begin with a series of historical battles including medieval Europe with a dragon flying over it?

A 3 headed robot dragon, so... Mecha King Ghidora. Transformers x Godzilla confirmed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

I can't believe there are so many of these movies. It's like when you hear about a serial killer and you're reading through all of their crimes wondering why nobody stopped them earlier. Oh, the horror! 

I feel the same way about the Resident Evil movies.

Anyway, the trailer looks aces. Nemesis Prime? Unicron? Metal... Gears? Anthony Hopkins trying to lead them to the Maze? Micheal Bay just wants to tell his stories.

Tran5formers, lets goooooooo! I'll see this in Imax 3D, then probably go see it again 2 or 3 more times. I love these things.

I remember when I just about wore out the the disc drive on my PS3 before I had a stand alone Bluray player, because I rewatched RotF too many times. Overall my least favorite of the bunch, but the extended Imax version of the forest fight is my favorite scene of the series.
post #12 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by CD Underbelly View Post


A 3 headed robot dragon, so... Mecha King Ghidora. Transformers x Godzilla confirmed.
 

 

Ah, okay. I only watched it on a small screen. If there are dragon transformers, I wonder whether we'll also get unicorn transformers?! 

post #13 of 519

I don't understand why the dragonformer wings make a flapping sound.

post #14 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post
 

 

Ah, okay. I only watched it on a small screen. If there are dragon transformers, I wonder whether we'll also get unicorn transformers?! 

 

Been done.  Battle Unicorn.  But for true horror, see Mach Kick.

 

... Why are you all looking at me like that?

post #15 of 519
This looks pretty good.
post #16 of 519
I'll watch this. But then that's a given. That trailer sure conjured up some stranger images than I was expecting and all of the King Arthur/Medieval stuff looked much better filmed than I had pictured. This gets by for me on weirdness alone at the moment. I even seem to recall an old episode of the G1 cartoon where Optimus Prime fought a three headed dragon in a mock medieval setting that some great white hunter had set up in a Transformers version of The Most Dangerous Game (cartoons were crazy back then, ok!)...so, the three headed dragon has some sort of precedence with the property. I'm in...so far..
post #17 of 519

Perhaps I missed something, but is there anything in the trailer that explains the connection with medieval and modern times?

post #18 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by wd40 View Post

Perhaps I missed something, but is there anything in the trailer that explains the connection with medieval and modern times?
It's not explained yet. But I actually dug Hopkins' narration where he says "billions and trillions of worlds in the cosmos....have you ever wondered why they keep coming back here?" So...I'd imagine that that line is alluding to the answer to your question..
post #19 of 519

Ok good. For a moment there, I thought they just cut a scene or two of Uwe Boll's classic, In the Name of the King, into a Transformers trailer just to give the impression of higher quality this time around.

post #20 of 519
Lord knows this is a paycheck gig for Hopkins and it certainly wouldn't be his first but I do enjoy his presence classing up the joint (as always)..
post #21 of 519

I sure wish I had the same enthusiasm for these as you did, Fraid. I don't mind the first movie, but after that I just can't do it. And I am one of the most forgiving people in these forums.

post #22 of 519
We live in sad times when even the prospect of medieval knights fighting Robot Ghidorah can't ignite my interest.
post #23 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by wd40 View Post

I sure wish I had the same enthusiasm for these as you did, Fraid. I don't mind the first movie, but after that I just can't do it. And I am one of the most forgiving people in these forums.
I checked out of this series for what I THOUGHT was for good after that awful second one. But that fourth I thought was just a crazy smorgasbord of insanity with a really good bad guy and clearer action (and LOTS of it)...and then I re-evaluated the third one a bit...and I found I like it more than I did initially, I just trashed it when it came out because I associated it so closely with the second one. And it's still the least of the ones that I like. So...yeah, I think that we all know which side of the line that we're on at this point..
post #24 of 519

This trailer was more coherent than most Michael Bay movies.

post #25 of 519

Ha ha, no.  Fool me four times, shame on, well, shame on me I guess.  Fool me five times, no freaking way.

post #26 of 519
OMG, Hot Rod is in this!!

*explodes in pants*
post #27 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

I'll watch this. But then that's a given. That trailer sure conjured up some stranger images than I was expecting and all of the King Arthur/Medieval stuff looked much better filmed than I had pictured. This gets by for me on weirdness alone at the moment. I even seem to recall an old episode of the G1 cartoon where Optimus Prime fought a three headed dragon in a mock medieval setting that some great white hunter had set up in a Transformers version of The Most Dangerous Game (cartoons were crazy back then, ok!)...so, the three headed dragon has some sort of precedence with the property. I'm in...so far..

 

The original show was indeed weird: A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court

 

post #28 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrBananaGrabber View Post

Been done.  Battle Unicorn.  But for true horror, see Mach Kick.

... Why are you all looking at me like that?


If you didn't provide the info, I would've.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

OMG, Hot Rod is in this!!

*explodes in pants*


And he will have a Frech accent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wd40 View Post

Perhaps I missed something, but is there anything in the trailer that explains the connection with medieval and modern times?


Either extended flashbacks because Transformers have been on Earth for forever, or there's gonna be time travel shenanigans in this. Maybe they can travel back to the 80's and finally get their OG G1 forms.
post #29 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

OMG, Hot Rod is in this!!

*explodes in pants*
You know what that means right? Optimus is fookin DEAD...for keepsies this time!

From the preview it looks like he's fallen to the Dark Side anyway..
post #30 of 519
So what kind of sex crime will Bay be taking an unseemly interest in this time?
post #31 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

From the preview it looks like he's fallen to the Dark Side anyway..

Maybe the "hate plague" from "The Return of Optimus Prime" two-parter is in the movie. It can only be cured by unleashing the power of the Matrix and cranking Stan Bush's "The Touch."
post #32 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post

So what kind of sex crime will Bay be taking an unseemly interest in this time?
Making sweet love to my eyeballs!
post #33 of 519
Lots of posters in here have been stricken with the hate plague.
post #34 of 519
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

Making sweet love to my eyeballs!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

I'll watch this. But then that's a given. That trailer sure conjured up some stranger images than I was expecting and all of the King Arthur/Medieval stuff looked much better filmed than I had pictured. This gets by for me on weirdness alone at the moment. I even seem to recall an old episode of the G1 cartoon where Optimus Prime fought a three headed dragon in a mock medieval setting that some great white hunter had set up in a Transformers version of The Most Dangerous Game (cartoons were crazy back then, ok!)...so, the three headed dragon has some sort of precedence with the property. I'm in...so far..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

Lots of posters in here have been stricken with the hate plague.

What have I unleashed upon us?
post #35 of 519
The power of the Matrix?
post #36 of 519
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

The power of the Matrix?

If that's true, we'd be in Prime heaven with Shia.
I wanted to unleash The Touch...but it seems I unleashed the Bad Touch.
You know, the one s"it's not tatutory rape" boyfriend from last movie wielded.
post #37 of 519

Somebody needs to tell Hopskins about Gofundme.

post #38 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by CD Underbelly View Post


Either extended flashbacks because Transformers have been on Earth for forever, or there's gonna be time travel shenanigans in this. Maybe they can travel back to the 80's and finally get their OG G1 forms.

 

That would explain where Mark Wahlberg gets that hair from.

post #39 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cylon Baby View Post
 

 

That would explain where Mark Wahlberg gets that hair from.

 

post #40 of 519
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

The power of the Matrix?

Speaking of power. Im amazed Nooj hasnt popped up yet. 

This thread should had attracted him like moth to a candle.

post #41 of 519

a friend of mine expressed a wish to witness me as I watched the trailer for the first time

 

so I'm SAVING MYSELF

post #42 of 519
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post
 

a friend of mine expressed a wish to witness me as I watched the trailer for the first time

 

so I'm SAVING MYSELF

At least have him record it. Dont hoard the glory of watching someone behold the revelation

post #43 of 519
I was just pleased that what they showed of the medieval stuff so far looked better than I feared it could. I was afraid it might be Monty Python meets Transformers (and I guess it still could) but that shot that they showed of (what I presume to be) Excalibur was pretty sweet looking..
post #44 of 519
HAHAHAHA
post #45 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
 

At least have him record it. Dont hoard the glory of watching someone behold the revelation

mmm, I think him wanting to see me watch it set up expectations that didn't deliver.  stuff like this really has to take me by surprise!

 

my reaction was muted...

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

I was just pleased that what they showed of the medieval stuff so far looked better than I feared it could. I was afraid it might be Monty Python meets Transformers (and I guess it still could) but that shot that they showed of (what I presume to be) Excalibur was pretty sweet looking..

 

hehehehe, I looked at the post and went "I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING THIS 3 DAYS AGO!!!!  What the hel-- ohhhhh oh hohohohoh!"

post #46 of 519
I'm freakin out man!
post #47 of 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post

hehehehe, I looked at the post and went "I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING THIS 3 DAYS AGO!!!!  What the hel-- ohhhhh oh hohohohoh!"
It's your conscience, nooj. Your conscience is trying to tell you something.
post #48 of 519

post #49 of 519
I'm really digging how much this movie seems to have full on embraced a lot of the weird minutiae from the G1 cartoon....and using those crazy episodes to give an explanation for all the weird shit they've shown so far that makes sense (makes sense to a Transformers fan anyway). And for that reason, this one feels like it's coalescing into what could be the most solid one of these....if purely from a standpoint of imagination. It's certainly feeling like the one to make the best use of the property since the first. That it appears to have more than a little in common with the '86 animated movie can only be a good thing. Megatron is apparently that three headed dragon (and may also be "the good guy"). Unicron being in this explains "Nemesis Prime." Also.....I bet money that Earth is Unicron. Shit that crazy combined with typical Michael Bay gloss can't help but make me wanna like it. And liking it is easier after that last one. It's pure spectacle and obscene amount of action and enormous set pieces showed that they're at least committed to giving the fans of these movies what they want. How deeply they've dug into the strangest and most obscure corners of the source material just pleases me to no end. Not just robots fighting....but dragons and knights and magic and living planets. So much weird!
post #50 of 519

All valid points.  However, after AoE, I vowed "Never Again".  This will be my first time sitting one of these out until it comes to video, which, knowing how fast these things dump to TV, will probably be before school starts back up.  If it's good I'll be back for number six.

 

BTW, here's Orson Welles' famous Unicron rant, maybe Hopskins can channel it:

 

Shortly before he died, he told his biographer, Barbara Leaming, that he had spent the day "playing a toy" in a movie about toys who "do horrible things to each other." Film historian Joseph McBride quotes Welles saying of his participation: "I play a planet. I menace somebody called Something-or-other. Then I'm destroyed."

 

He died five days after he wrapped recording.

 

http://jhomunculus.blogspot.com/2007/07/toys-who-do-horrible-things-to-each.html

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