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JABBA: A STAR WARS STORY - Page 2

post #51 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dent6084 View Post
 

Let's give LFL some basic credit

nah

post #52 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post

Criminals (Han Solo)
Criminals (Jabba the Hutt)
Criminals (Boba Fett)

Bounty hunters aren't criminals sillygoose.

And if the yaaaaaaaaaawning chasm between the Swashbuckling Smuggler Adventure and Rise of a Gangland Kingpin genres is lost on you then the Emperor has already won.
post #53 of 108

Bucho, if you can't see how Han, Boba Fett and Jabba all occupy the same kind of story, you can kiss my grits.

post #54 of 108

Also, ya dinguses, Jabba is not a Godfather trope. He's not Tony Soprano. He's motherfucking Fu Manchu. 

 

He might as well be stroking a pointy goatee as he smokes his opium pipe and glares at Luke through Asian-stereotyped slanted eyes. And like Noir dude up above pointed out, he attempts to make Luke and Han, the space pirate, walk a plank. 

 

Jabba is a pirate lord. Fuck off with this Scarface bullshit.

post #55 of 108
No, suuuuuuuuuuuuuure Bart, a movie about a good guy is exaaaaaaaactly the same as a movie about a bad guy but a movie about heroic pilots would be waaaaaaaaaaaay different from a movie about heroic ground troops.
post #56 of 108

I demand my pew pew.

post #57 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post

Bucho, if you can't see how Han, Boba Fett and Jabba all occupy the same kind of story, you can kiss my grits.

I can see how they do... BY POPPING IN A JEDI DVD!!!!

Tread new ground ya sorry sonsabitches.
post #58 of 108

PEW PEW

post #59 of 108
Not gonna lie, a Rogue Squadron movie sounds pretty dang sweet to me too.
post #60 of 108
Thread Starter 

Rogue Squadron in the vein of Top Gun would make up for Rogue One.  

post #61 of 108

Now you're getting it.

post #62 of 108
Thread Starter 

post #63 of 108

I can't wait to learn how Jabba got his tail and see him and Greedo meet at school.

post #64 of 108

"aw gee jabba... I hope you don't... CHOKE on your respirations!"

post #65 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post

Even if Cameron does get Avatar 2 out at the same time, I think an Obi-Wan movie would have way more interest than a sequel to a (by that point) 11-year old movie that's left almost zero pop cultural footprint.
ANOTHER STAR WARS SPINOFF NOBODY ASKED FOR vs. JAMES CAMERON'S DAY-LATE-AND-DOLLAR-SHORT SEQUEL TO HIS LEAST INTERESTING MOVIE: 2020 HOLIDAY SMACKDOWN - on SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!
post #66 of 108

For immediate release:

 

SLEAZEBAGGANO: A STAR WARS STORY

 

Disney Media and Lucasfilm are proud to announce pre-production has begun for the latest entry in their ongoing, multi-bazillion dollar anthology series.

 

SLEAZEBAGGANO: A STAR WARS STORY follows the rise of Elan Sleazebaggano into the galaxy's foremost supplier of "death sticks." The film will focus on Slezebaggano's revolution of the advertising and production methods behind death sticks, showing his relentless drive but also the ways in which he compromises his own humanity. Or whatever he is.

 

"Sleazebaggano is just such an interesting character, there's so much to explore there," said Kathleen Kennedy. "We're very excited about the ways in which this will provide an avenue for social commentary, for Star Wars to fully jump into the war on tobacco through pointed yet oh-so-subtle satire. You haven't seen a 'Thank You For Smoking' or 'The Insider' type film in the Star Wars canon. Well, guess what, you're about to. And, yes, you're welcome."

 

In a controversial move, the producers did not seek out actor Matt Doran to reprise the role he played in 2002's Attack of the Clones. "We know there will be some outrage from the fan sector as Sleazebaggano is a sacred character and Matt was so iconic in it," said Kennedy, "But with the direction we're going with this movie, we felt the need to get someone that the general public expects to see in a role of this nature. That's right, we got Mr. Mad Man himself... JON FUCKING HAMM."

 

"I'm excited to really plumb the depths of this character," said Hamm. "Yep, I am really going to be plumbin' away."

 

Up-and-coming director Scott Silverstein, who lit the indie world on fire with his Kickstarter-funded, quirky rom-com Blumsblatt & Me, is attached to direct.

 

"Blumsblatt & Me is a masterpiece, of course, maybe the greatest masterpiece" said Kennedy, "So we're excited to see what Scott can do -- or rather, what we can make him do -- in the Star Wars universe. What a lot of people don't know is that Scott once directed a 20/20 segment about Red Bull, so we feel like he will really help ground this exploration of questionable corporate ethics in a degree of authenticity and will bring his experience with investigative journalism to bear. Death Sticks don't know what's about to hit them."

 

Tony Gilroy and Ron Howard are attached to take over everything in the middle of shooting and course-correct the film to Disney's pleasing.

 

SLEAZEBAGGANO: A STAR WARS STORY will be released worldwide in April of 2027.

post #67 of 108

post #68 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post

ANOTHER STAR WARS SPINOFF NOBODY ASKED FOR vs. JAMES CAMERON'S DAY-LATE-AND-DOLLAR-SHORT SEQUEL TO HIS LEAST INTERESTING MOVIE: 2020 HOLIDAY SMACKDOWN - on SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!

Yet they'll all make a billion dollars.
post #69 of 108
Fuck another prequel. I don't care what character it's about. FUCK A PREQUEL.

What's happening in Hutt Cartel space now, while the Resistance and the First Order duke it out? Lucasfilm doesn't know and doesn't care, because there's no way to tie it to this one goddamn family that the galaxy seems to revolve around. I'm dying to know, for the exact same reason.

If disney wants to add value to the property they spent a king's ransom on, if they want to invest in it, if they want to grow the Star Wars franchise, they should grow the damn perspective beyond the goddamn Solos and Skywalkers. (Don't tell me Rey's not a Skywalker. Don't start.)
post #70 of 108

Well she's probably a Ken--never mind, I won't start. 

post #71 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reasor View Post

Fuck another prequel. I don't care what character it's about. FUCK A PREQUEL.

 

Just because a standalone film is set before a film in the main saga, doesn't necessarily make it a prequel. A self-contained gangster film in which Jabba is but one player and is surrounded by a whole host of original characters, isn't really a prequel thematically to any of the films we've seen thus far. You're dreading THE CHRONICLES OF JABBA, but what if it's CORUSCANT UNDERWORLD.


Edited by Barry Woodward - 8/21/17 at 7:57pm
post #72 of 108

I hear folk lamenting Lucasfilm wanting to do a movie with a younger Yoda. They say, "If you're going to make a film set in the distant past, why not do KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC?" I say, why not combine the two? Set it 800 years before his death and have him be our way in to a completely different era, with new characters and technology.


Edited by Barry Woodward - 8/21/17 at 8:56pm
post #73 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry Woodward View Post

I hear folk lamenting Lucasfilm wanting to do a movie with a younger Yoda. They say, "If you're going to make a film set in the distant past, why not do KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC?" I say, why not combine the two? Set it 800 years before his death and have him be our way in to a completely different era, with new characters and technology.

When you say "new technology" you don't mean no laser guns do you Baz?
post #74 of 108

Since they've jettisoned the EU and established a new canon, who knows what level of technology they'd want for that era? A creative clean slate is part of what makes the idea so appealing. Think of all the batshit crazy designs the concept artists could come up with.


Edited by Barry Woodward - 8/22/17 at 2:08am
post #75 of 108
Batshit crazy designs for different types of laser guns is what you mean though right?

I mean, there are going to be laser guns, aren't there?
post #76 of 108
Dirty little secret: all technology in Star Wars is just plot magic with chrome on top.
post #77 of 108
To look at it from a super geeky status, the Star Wars universe exists in a weird technology plateau. No matter the era, you have your same basic level of weaponry and travel ability, minus the odd planet killer that shows up and is quickly dispatched. Even the holograms are always the same blue interlaced video.
post #78 of 108

binoculars in the star war world seem to suck no matter what era!!

 

they always have scanlines!

post #79 of 108

I'm Bored With This Shit Already: A Mike J Story.

post #80 of 108

 

#HuttFellas

post #81 of 108
Zzzzzzz.
post #82 of 108

"Leave the blaster. Take the Klatooine paddy frog."

post #83 of 108

See?? Now this is the kind of shit that tarnishes the STAR WARS Name to me.. You don't need a spinoff movie for every character.. Just stick with the Main Movies and you can't go wrong..

post #84 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by IN BKB WE TRUST View Post
 

See?? Now this is the kind of shit that tarnishes the STAR WARS Name to me.. You don't need a spinoff movie for every character.. Just stick with the Main Movies and you can't go wrong..

Yes! This! 

 

I'm tired of fucking backstories for every damm character that we were introduced to at some point in the SW universe. I mean the thing that makes prequels insignificant and anti-climatic is that we already know the fate of these chracters. No matter how badass you want to make an origins story on how Jabba became a feared, and menacing gangster, we know that he'll meet his end at the hands of a bikini-clad Leia Organa while his entire empire burns in the desert. 

post #85 of 108
Thread Starter 

post #86 of 108

Well, to be fair it was George Lucas's ideas to do spin-offs on Wookies and shit back in the 70s. Disney just thought, cool good idea.

 

Quote:
As I was writing, I came up with some ideas for a film about robots, with no humans in it. When I got to working on the Wookiee, I thought of a film just about Wookiees, nothing else. So, for a time, I had a couple of odd movies with just those characters. 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_sequel_trilogy

post #87 of 108

Just to be devil's advocate here, because I'm certainly not a fan of something like a Jabba spin-off, but from the start Lucas was allowing stuff like the Holiday Special to be made without his direct involvement. In the wake of Return of the Jedi there was not just the Droids and Ewoks cartoons, but the two Ewoks made-for-TV movies.

 

In fact, sometimes I wonder what Star Wars would be like if the route of the Ewoks movies had been continued. If the property had become less "sacred" in the '90s due to every single random character getting their own cartoon and movie/show, kind of like what's happening now. 

 

Because a big part of why we cling to the episodes so tightly is that decade+ lack of new material between 1986 and 1997. Lucas pulled back, creating the illusion that SW was over (only us fanboys were reading the comics and books), but he was actually priming the pump to make the movies seem so special. And the decade following that he emphasized so strongly the hierarchy of specialness, with the movies at the top followed by The Clone Wars cartoon, with nothing else really "mattering." 

 

Point being, Star Wars was always meant to become this BRAND. 30 years ago the process started, but then someone pulled the plug before Jabba/Obi-Wan/Yoda/Boba Fett could get their own movies and/or TV shows. 

post #88 of 108
A Jabba movie is a bad idea on so many levels, least of which the thing that made Jabba work was not that he was an interesting character himself, but a foil that added extra depth to another more interesting character, Han Solo.

That aside, there are so many things they could do with a Jabba story, but probably wouldn't - it would end up pedestrianised and focus heavily on Boba Fett.

Also, I don't understand those who do complain about a Jabba or other secondary or tertiary character movie when they also drool at the mouth at the thought of yet another Marvel movie that introduces yet another obscure character from some weird run in the 1970s or similar. Disney are simply turning Star Wars into the new Marvel. I'd much prefer a Jaxxon or Dani spinoff than a Jabba spinoff.

Or even a Shira Brie cameo. And if she returned as Lumiya I'd lose my shit.
post #89 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post

Just to be devil's advocate here, because I'm certainly not a fan of something like a Jabba spin-off, but from the start Lucas was allowing stuff like the Holiday Special to be made without his direct involvement. In the wake of Return of the Jedi there was not just the Droids and Ewoks cartoons, but the two Ewoks made-for-TV movies.
Well, yes, but here's the thing: they were garbage. And these will also be garbage.
post #90 of 108

Sure. But my argument is that was destined to happen post-Return of the Jedi no matter what. It just got delayed a little while after a false start in 1985-1986. 

post #91 of 108
Thread Starter 
Lucas was never planning the release-a-film-every-year thing.  About the only thing he had planned besides the Clone Wars cartoon and Ep.7-9 to finish out the saga was the limited run TV show.  And even that got canceled before it ever got close to filming.  I'm not of the opinion this current iteration of Star Wars  was inevitable, Lucas didn't care much about that.  He was always just trying to keep his companies going.  He didn't have to answer to shareholders and could rest on his laurels.  A proper conglomerate like Disney demands output.
post #92 of 108

Said it before and I'll say it again - I'll take one of, any of Lucas' off the wall non-hollywood ideas over the micromanaged blandfest that we're usually served.

post #93 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
 

Said it before and I'll say it again - I'll take one of, any of Lucas' off the wall non-hollywood ideas over the micromanaged blandfest that we're usually served.

post #94 of 108

  While Jabba is a good mini-boss in ROTJ, he isn't a good enough character to base an entire movie around. The only time he was entertaining was when he was a gluttonous pig who just issued orders. So far he hasn't looked good in CGI, so I think its a safe bet to not give a CGI Jabba another chance.

 

  I do have a good idea, possibly great, idea for a stand alone movie: Doctor Alpha: A Star Wars story. I've only flipped though a couple of the comics she has been in, but she looks like a fun character. She is a morally ambiguous archaeologist who with travels with evil versions of C3-PO, R2-D2 and Chewbacca. The time setting would work since it would be between ANH and TESB, so all the familiar visuals would be there but with new characters. The third act could have her play the Empire against the Rebels to escape by the skin of her teeth. 

post #95 of 108
I can't even believe a movie like this is being considered. Who would want to watch this?
post #96 of 108
This is fucking stupid. I can't imagine a movie like this even existing. If it were like, a Pixar movie...that type of thing? Then I dunno....maybe. But even then...ehhhh..
post #97 of 108

This isn't a Jabba the Hutt origins movie, full stop. It's a crime movie that also happens to have Jabba in it. The Lucasfilm Story Group has mined the 50+ scripts written for the Star Wars Underworld premium cable series that George Lucas was planning as well as the canceled 1313 game. It's going to have cameos, no doubt, but the main characters in the film will be original by and large. Relax about it.


Edited by Barry Woodward - 8/27/17 at 6:27pm
post #98 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry Woodward View Post
 

This isn't a Jabba the Hutt movie, full stop

 

 

YES YES!

 

PUT A FULL STOP TO ALL OF THIS star war MACHINE!!!

post #99 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post
 

 

 

YES YES!

 

PUT A FULL STOP TO ALL OF THIS star war MACHINE!!!

Maybe one will someday reach ASM2 levels of misguided.  You don't want that?

post #100 of 108

those are only great when you don't see them coming!

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