Well, here I go, gents. Spoilers ahead, but nothing too big.
To sort of quote historical bastard Josef Fouche: “This was worse than bad. It was a mess”
That’s all this damn movie is. A big mess that at every second screams in reminiscence of the countless reshoots, recuts and damage control that were made in the name of a bunch of executives and producers that were too proud, stupid and greedy to admit defeat or their incompetence.
This movie should had been epic. It should had been grand Wagnerian opera, with Gods and heroes bigger than life fighting against pure evil.
That we get this bland, uneven and soulless generic blockbuster instead of George Miller’s epic is absolutely enraging.
Even worse is that you can tell that all the faults and errors are at the creative and executive level; these characters, portrayed by this cast, deserve a better movie and a better adaptation of their mythology and history.
We should had gotten a Grant Morrison’s Justice League. Instead, we got a editor mandated New 52 mess, that strips the characters and their iconic power to some bare, soulless marketing designed vision.
The only hope is that at the end, this movie sets up a DCU that can be salvageable, if WB swallows its pride and steals from the post Perlmutter Marvel playbook: get producers, writers and directors that get the material and characters, that care about what these characters represents and have vision and passion, and are willing to fight for them. More Patty Jenkins and less Snyders and Whedons.
This is a messy movie whose only saving graces are a few moments were the cast is allowed to give the real iconic characters they are playing life, and a finale that leaves a shaky but fixable foundation for a better future. That’s about it.
Ok, now it’s spoiler time; nothing big or fundamental, just personal issues with the movie:
-who the fuck thought it was a good idea to turn Barry Allen into a Big Bang Theory Reject? The guy even runs like a nerd in PE on a 80s bad comedy.
-how the fuck do you manage to make Superman joining the big fight a dorky gag instead of the biggest moment in a JL movie?
-Why introduce the concept of humans turning into parademons and not use it later in the movie?
-The movie literally opens with a moment ripped from the first issue of the New 52 Justice League, making it clear what you are gonna get.
-Why stick with that baymorphers design and emo attitude for Cyborg for the whole movie, only to tease his Teen Titans self and classic design at the very end?
-Even in sharp suit and bald, Eisenberg as Luthor is as imposing and charismatic as a wet Michael Cera.
-How the fuck do you mess Steppenwolf being defeated? How hard would it had been for a boom tube to open, and reveal an imposing shadowy figure to claim Sttepenwolf has failed him, only for Steppenwolf to be disintegrated by Omega Beams, followed by the figure saying Earth will soon learn the one truth in the universe: DARKSEID IS.
-Fuuuuuuck that digital shaving effect. Fuck it.
That’s it for now. I need to read a classic TPB or play Injustice to feel better about this.
And yes, I’ll watch Thor Ragnarok again this weekend just because.