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Today Needs A Fact... Who Feels Lucky?

post #1 of 53
2/10/00 at 3:13pm
Thread Starter 
Let loose your creativity... one of you gets a fact up there today (sue me, I'm feeling lazy today, NHL2K just got here).
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post #2 of 53
2/10/00 at 3:40pm
With just over two weeks remaining before the Academy Award nominations are announced, film studios are flooding Academy members with propoganda. You can count on The Astronaut’s Wife to receive a Best Film nomination because Charlize Theron is making the rounds of Hollywood in a teddy.
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post #3 of 53
2/10/00 at 4:14pm
My favorite blast from the past:

It's finally been discovered why Quentin Tarantino hasn't directed another film in quite some time...He exhausted his supply of
God's Good Grace when Mira Sorvino agreed to date him.
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post #4 of 53
2/10/00 at 4:17pm
Thread Starter 
I was hoping DJ would get a chance, but it looks like the fact is yours, Blo. Perhaps you can fight each other for tomorrow's (:
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post #5 of 53
2/10/00 at 4:29pm
I'm always up for competition -- DJ is a worthy opponent. Unfortunately, DJ is out rounding up a squirrel to take to the drive-in.
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post #6 of 53
2/11/00 at 12:17pm
I swear one day I will actually think of a good CHUD Fact and you will all be blow away by it's audacity.
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post #7 of 53
2/15/00 at 12:45pm
After the commercial, critical and now Academy Award nomination success of The Sixth Sense, Randy Quaid, Burt Reynolds and Patrick Swayze are hoping that the movie-going public is interested in being able to see the dead careers.
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post #8 of 53
2/16/00 at 8:56am
Why is it that everytime a movie comes along about aliens who just want sex, Twinkies, and beer, it gets NO media attention? I mean, did Romeo and Juliet even HAVE a trailer?
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post #9 of 53
2/16/00 at 1:36pm
Calista Flockhart and Camryn Manheim have agreed to make a team-appearance on an upcoming episode of Sesame Street. They will portray the digits when the show is hosted by the number 10.
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post #10 of 53
2/16/00 at 6:04pm
Well, I liked that one alot!
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post #11 of 53
2/17/00 at 4:07am
Me too. Try this one:

Worried that he might also be discriminating against the elderly, George Lucas will be introducing 3 elderly Sith Lords in Episode 2. Look for Bob Hope as Darth Fogey, Walter Matthau as Darth Wrinkles, and Jack Lemmon as Darth Cheesetoes.
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post #12 of 53
2/17/00 at 8:22am
Oh, that's funny! Great to have you back, DJ!
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post #13 of 53
2/17/00 at 12:39pm
By combining the forces of Vin Diesel and Jeff Bridges, Hollywood is determined to vanquish all film-threatening diesases. The DieselBridges union's first task will be to wipe Casper Van Dien and all his movies off the face of this earth.
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post #14 of 53
2/17/00 at 12:48pm
Yes!
Blofeld: 5
DJEvil: 3.33
I'd like to thank all the masters at CHUD for allowing me a forum to kiss some ass.

(**and for those wondering, my 98-year-old grandmother comes up with all of these CHUD facts for me. I do edit some of them, for instance, "Pass the damned banana pudding" just didn't cut it.**)
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post #15 of 53
2/17/00 at 2:17pm
Lowshot,

Keep dissing Casper and I'll snuff you out and have him play you in the made for TV film.
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post #16 of 53
2/17/00 at 5:58pm
Ah, Blo it out your feld.
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post #17 of 53
2/18/00 at 5:43pm
M. Night Shamalayan is about to reveal another surprise. The "M" stands for Madingdong. SHAMALAMADINGDONG!
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post #18 of 53
2/21/00 at 9:51am
Blo, I love you, and I love snorting you through my gold straw, but how many times are you going to milk that damned SHAMALAMADINGDONG joke?

Forever, I hope.

Gets me every time.
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post #19 of 53
2/21/00 at 12:50pm
grendel, thank you for your love and nasal passages ... but I'm afraid that that above CHUD fact post is absolutely the first time I've ever said or typed SHAMALAMADINGDONG.
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post #20 of 53
2/21/00 at 2:21pm
In a post-nomination interview Charlie Kaufman (writer of Being John Malkovich) revealed that his first draft was entitled Being Kevin Costner. The problem with this version of the script was that once they discovered the tunnel into Costner's head, there was nothing there.
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post #21 of 53
2/21/00 at 4:15pm
Dammit, SOMEONE posted the SHAMALAMADINGDONG thing before! I thought it was you, but if not, what the hell, take some credit for it!
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post #22 of 53
2/21/00 at 4:36pm
Well, did someone jump forward in time, read my post, and then plagerize me in days of yester? How dare they!
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post #23 of 53
2/22/00 at 12:55am
I think it was me. Not sure. I'll take credit if no one else does.
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post #24 of 53
2/22/00 at 2:58pm
Congratulations, evil nemesis. You've narrowed the gap.

Blofeld: 5
DJEvil: 4.33
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post #25 of 53
2/22/00 at 3:05pm
An addendum, if ya want it.

Look for "Episode 2: Grumpy Old Siths" in 2002.
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post #26 of 53
2/22/00 at 4:11pm
Concerned with the ever-rising costs of CGI effects, in an upcoming science-fiction movie in which New York City must appear completely flooded by melting polar-caps, Amblin Entertainment will save money by asking Harry Knowles to jump into the Hudson River.
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post #27 of 53
2/22/00 at 5:01pm
Thread Starter 
Ha! But I don't think I can post that
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post #28 of 53
2/22/00 at 5:27pm
Probably not. Legal reasons. Tell you what -- go hack into the Bar Association's site and find out if it would be legal or not.
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post #29 of 53
2/23/00 at 9:36am
Or just go in via a cable modem into a fixed IP address using a generic signature to get the information...that's not hacking you know. HK said so at AICN. That's just getting information.
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post #30 of 53
2/23/00 at 4:38pm
Actually, that's not hacking. That's horrible security. ;}
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post #31 of 53
2/23/00 at 4:45pm
Insiders report that Michael Madsen is teaming up with John Travolta to film a prequel to both "Reservoir dogs" and "Pulp Fiction" called "Los Vegas" The film would tell the story of the brothers Vega, Vic and Vincent. Hold on, maybe that was Tom Sizemore and John Travolta, I always get those two mixed up.

[This message has been edited by chenzzo (edited 02-23-2000).]
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post #32 of 53
2/23/00 at 4:50pm
He's gotten wise! The long-awaited team-up of Speilberg, Lucas and Ford will go before the cameras this summer. The title: Indiana Jones and the Lost Momentum.
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post #33 of 53
2/24/00 at 9:31am
Hollywood is about to role cameras on a project in which a worker discovers, in an office bathroom stall, a portal into the lower intestine of John Stamos. Whenever the office toilet is flushed John Stamos must rush to find a toilet. Why does Hollywood insist on producing such recycled crap?
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post #34 of 53
2/24/00 at 9:37am
Hey, wasn't that the original premise for Full House?
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post #35 of 53
2/25/00 at 2:56pm
Warner Brothers has released a statement explaining why Nicholas Cage will not be playing Superman in the upcoming movie. "We didn't want to strain credibility by casting Nick as Superman. How do you explain Superman not having super-hair?"
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post #36 of 53
2/26/00 at 3:28pm
With Don Johnson being found with $600 worth of gay porn, it can now be proven that Melanie Griffith can achieve such a disturbing frequency with her voice that it will turn any man gay. Watch out Antonio!
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post #37 of 53
2/26/00 at 4:22pm
Woah, did they really find that on Johnson? Damn, that sucks for him.
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post #38 of 53
2/26/00 at 6:57pm
Yeah, I read it in the Star, so it must be true

They had pictures from the surveillance cameras and a copy of a receipt with his name on it and all of the titles that he bought.

I really think that Melanie Griffith is the daughter of Satan, but that's just my opinion.
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post #39 of 53
2/26/00 at 8:23pm
"Using the Pond Pore strips will remove the mole people that live in your pores"
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post #40 of 53
2/28/00 at 12:54pm
The Special Edition DVD release of Wild Wild West will contain an entirely different film.
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post #41 of 53
2/29/00 at 5:38pm
...and unfortunately, there will be a screwup in production, and the WILD WILD X feature will be released. You know the one, the pornographic take on MalcolmX?
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post #42 of 53
3/1/00 at 7:10pm
Oh, and by the way...
WHOOOO HOOOO!

Blofeld: 5.5
DJEvil: 4.333
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post #43 of 53
3/1/00 at 7:12pm
Shut up before I beat the sh*t out of you.

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post #44 of 53
3/2/00 at 9:10am
My grandmother has been contacted by the studio to serve as consultant on Speed 3. The plot involves a bomb strapped to the walker of an assisted living resident. If she gets the walker above 1-mile/hour, the bomb will explode. To make grandma run, shambling zombies crawl out of the vanilla pudding and chase her down the hall. Expect thrills and chills!
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post #45 of 53
3/3/00 at 4:08pm
It's been confirmed: Angelina Jolie will play Lara Croft! Lara Croft's breasts will be played by Linda Hunt and Gary Coleman.
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post #46 of 53
3/5/00 at 1:36pm
The plot of Speed 3 has been revealed: It will be set in a theatre showing a Jan De Bont movie, and if more than fifty people walk out, the theatre will explode.
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post #47 of 53
3/6/00 at 12:12am
Stan Lee releases a long forgotten but soon to be classic comic series:

"CGI Kung FU Wizards and the Attack on Nympho Spider Queen's Futuristic Island of Exploding Trees"

I am looking forward to the movie adaption on DVD.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
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post #48 of 53
3/9/00 at 2:34am
Eddie Murphy, tired of remaking old movies, has decided that the public would rather see him in sequels to his own movies. On the horizon you can expect to see Metro 2: Met Harder, Harlem Nights 2: The Return and Boomerang 2: Coming Back for More
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post #49 of 53
3/9/00 at 4:04am
I still love this one-

In response to the spate of WWII films in production including "Fertig", "Pearl Harbor", and "Windtalkers", Jan DeBont will direct "Saving the Talented Private Matt Damon". DeBont also serves as cinematographer on the film, which he claims will be, "der most realistic displaying of combat ever captured on der celluloid." The film is the inaugural project of CHUD FILMWERKS, and producer/screenwriters H.A.M. Pollock and Kenn with a gay "N" Snipes echo DeBont's sentiment.
"This production is going to make history as the first film to use live ammunition," Pollock stated. Kenn added, "And with DeBont gliding through each battle with 240lbs of Steadycam rig, it's only a matter of time-I mean, we'll get very realistic combat footage."
The film stars Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Chris Tucker, and Rosie O' Donnell, and is set for a Christmas 2000 release. CHUD FILMWORKS says to expect posthumous Oscar nods for all involved...
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post #50 of 53
3/16/00 at 4:51pm
Nah, you got the title right, but it's a sequel to The Nutty Professor.
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