CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Humor › A new theme
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

A new theme

post #1 of 37
5/18/00 at 10:02am
Thread Starter 
Guys, those nutty LRONS have inspired me. Check out today's CHUD FACT and watch the next 5. You'll sense a theme.
Reply
post #2 of 37
5/18/00 at 11:53am
It was bound to happen; corporations have been merging for years, it was only a matter of time til movie franchises did as well. In anticipation of Martin Lawrence's career finally taking off, the sequel to the Mummy will star this talented actor with poor taste in projects. It is expected that the action in BIG MUMMY'S HOUSE will be comparable to the action in Star Wars and the Matrix, and will be unique in the fact that the hero will face impossible odds.
Reply
post #3 of 37
5/18/00 at 5:54pm
Battlefield Earth II will NOT be subtitled "Battlefield Hader" as originally rumored. It will be called "Paint Dries, in a Poignant Philosophical Manner"

or "Damn Dirty Humans"

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #4 of 37
5/18/00 at 11:01pm
Heh heh heh heh...I liked that one.
Reply
post #5 of 37
5/19/00 at 10:34am
The annual NRA convention begins today in Charlotte, NC, where protestors have also gathered to demand stricter gun control laws. When asked whether there was any concern on the part of the NRA, a spokesman for Mossberg shotguns said, "I believe that they have grievances to be aired, and that it is only fair that they air them. But, then again, we have all the guns."
Reply
post #6 of 37
5/19/00 at 11:44pm
This week, an advanced screening of the ultra-secret Lord of the Rings trilogy was interrupted as a group of shirtless gay men held the event hostage, apparently waiting for a clogging/folkdancing moment that never came.

They were referred to an off-Boradway tour of Lord of the Dance, and went quietly... though police picked them up outside fifteen minutes later. Following their arrest, the group was sent to a maximum security prison where they are reported to be enjoying their stay.



------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #7 of 37
5/20/00 at 2:26pm
*wants to get a CHUD fact printed... just once*

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #8 of 37
5/20/00 at 10:16pm
*wants to see more CHUD Holidays*
Reply
post #9 of 37
5/22/00 at 12:27pm
Battlefield: Earth was actually designed as a recruitment tool for the Church of Scientology in the hope that it would cause the viewer such extreme mental and spiritual damage that they would have little choice but to turn to the Church to have the damage repaired.
Reply
post #10 of 37
5/22/00 at 1:44pm
Details are being kept top secret, but the basic premise of Unbreakable is: After a train accident, a man learns he has an uncanny ability to escape harm – BECAUSE HE’S ALREADY DEAD!
Reply
post #11 of 37
5/22/00 at 10:47pm
Jet Li was quoted about the rumor of a new project with Andy Dick.

"I would love to work with him. He does good work."

This surprising tidbit came right after Li's American publicist released an interview tape saying that he was... "..very much interested in working with Whoopi," and that he heard that, "a project was also in the works with the three legged dog from Outside Providence that he would love to be assocaited with."

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #12 of 37
5/23/00 at 4:24pm
Due to reviews on AICN, the world wide web is dangerously close to running out of data storage space. Experts predict tha
Reply
post #13 of 37
5/23/00 at 5:26pm
The sound of guys dumping their girlfriends could be heard throughout the world when it was announced today that Liz Hurley and Hugh Grant have "Temporarily Splitup".
Reply
post #14 of 37
5/23/00 at 6:30pm
NICK! Pick one of my recent CHUD facts already!

Thanks.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #15 of 37
5/24/00 at 11:14am
In a related story, the popular website CHUD has been held under seige by one of it's members, the self-proclaimed General Logan.
The one reporter who made it out, a Mr. A. Huxley, was available for comment, but we're still trying to decipher what he said. Witnesses seem to think the General lost it when none of his facts were posted on the main page under "Fact of The Day." Others claim that the webmaster was holding the child Illysam (see related news story on the child of Jarjar Binks and Henritta from Evil Dead), who washed up on the shores of CHUD but really belongs in the Star Wars universe, of which the General is a represenative.
Dennis Miller was unavailable for comment.
Reply
post #16 of 37
5/24/00 at 11:27am
Thread Starter 
Logan, your time will come VERY SOON.
Reply
post #17 of 37
5/24/00 at 11:29am
Logan, your CHUD facts suck as much as mine do, leave it to Blofeld, who is cleverer than both of us, unto the seventh generation.
Reply
post #18 of 37
5/24/00 at 1:30pm
screw that! mine have been used before, Blofeld doesn't have a monopoly.

Whoa, I Sound like I'm freaking out don't I?

Oh well.
Reply
post #19 of 37
5/24/00 at 3:42pm
Logan, show up on Nick's doorstep with choclate & flowers.
*grendel whispers in Coyote's ear*
What? YOu mean Blofeld gave Nick the little white CAT?
*blush* My mistake. Nevermind.
Reply
post #20 of 37
5/24/00 at 4:02pm
I'll be holding a Writing Chud Facts seminar at the Holiday Inn in Denver, CO 6/17/00 at 12:30P. This seminar is free. I do charge for the workbook -- a simple fee to offset copying and binding -- $895.00.

A taste:

Rule #1: Keep 'em short. Look at the itty-bitty space on the main page that they're printed in.
Reply
post #21 of 37
5/24/00 at 4:50pm
I've been so busy working today that I almost missed the fact that: TODAY'S CHUD FACT IS MINE! WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!

Come on, dance with me, Logan!
Reply
post #22 of 37
5/24/00 at 5:37pm
Tom Cruise retired this week, now financially secure. MI2? No. Royalties from people lip-synching in their underwear.


Short enough? Bastards, all of ye.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #23 of 37
5/25/00 at 8:45am
sounds more like a question for Mrs. Logan.

No, not your Mom.
Reply
post #24 of 37
5/25/00 at 4:50pm
Yours then?

*initiates slap fight*

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #25 of 37
5/25/00 at 10:15pm
The American Medical Association (AMA) determined earlier this week that G-rated films such as "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" and "Pinnochio" were disturbingly violent films and shouldn't be rated as such. We can only conclude from this that it has taken 63 years for the AMA to realize that only Disney can afford to buy a G-rating from the MPAA.
Reply
post #26 of 37
5/25/00 at 11:19pm
Interesting how a G-string would not be allowed a G rating.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #27 of 37
5/26/00 at 3:50pm
And since when can you buy more than a vowel?

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #28 of 37
5/28/00 at 12:49pm
CHUD has learned that the major plot complication in the new James Bond movie, Beyond the Ice, will center around John Cleese's character "R" forgetting to give Bond the one piece of equipment that he needs to save the world.
Reply
post #29 of 37
5/28/00 at 3:31pm
Metallica has announced a unanimous split today... unanimous because all those involved--the band, the label and producers, and all the fans living and dead--decided the band was acting like a cranky 80 year old before his 6 AM cup of pills.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #30 of 37
5/30/00 at 3:55pm
In an effort to make Battlefield Earth 2: BE Harder an "even better" film; Jan De Bont has signed on as director. Sources close to CHUD indicate that this does in fact herald the coming of the Apocalypse.
Reply
post #31 of 37
5/31/00 at 1:20pm
I just thought I'd let you all know that yesterday's fact, the one bloodied and missing due to the Scientologists, was one of mine. Thank you.
Reply
post #32 of 37
5/31/00 at 10:39pm
Pre-production of Scream 4 was officially begun this morning. With word of this announcement, the continuation of unnecessary loss of human life with little motivation caused a bitter weeping that was simultaneously heard from the soulless private chambers of Darth Vader, Hannibal Lecter, Hitler, and Satan herself, my ex-fiancee.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #33 of 37
5/31/00 at 11:39pm
It has been announced that Jimmy Smits has been secretly cast for "Star Wars: Episode II & III," possibly as a Jedi. Lucas, of course, has neither confirmed nor denied that Ellen Barkin will play Jimmy Smits' dark side.
Reply
post #34 of 37
6/3/00 at 3:27pm
Nor has there been any truth to the allegation that Ahmed Best will be reprising his role as Jabba's underside.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #35 of 37
6/5/00 at 4:26pm
CHUD is hesitant to post any new facts to the main page for fear of improving the humor on other, nameless sites.
Reply
post #36 of 37
6/13/00 at 10:31pm
Not to mention the smell.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
Reply
post #37 of 37
6/14/00 at 2:27am
Method actor Hugh Jackman poked his eye out during a fight scene yesterday and is reportedly at home, waiting for the Healing Factor to kick in.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humor
CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Humor › A new theme