Cybersex Funnies

Some friends of mine found this on some messageboard.. these are really funny. Go to the link to see the rest of them.

<a href="http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?threadid=123099" target="_blank">http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?threadid=123099</a>

So I was having cybersex the other day.
It was pretty good I guess. Here it is:

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

Whaddaya know.. Maybe the thread I posted a link to has additional ones?

Heres another...

J-dogg: Hey Kate, I saw you on the hs chatroom
J-dogg: Your pretty funny
DirtyKate: I don't remember you.. but thanx
J-dogg: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
J-dogg: I graduated two years ago. I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot. Right now I'm going to Auburn
J-dogg: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my new Sebring
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
J-dogg: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
J-dogg: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
J-dogg: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
J-dogg:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
&lt;pause&gt;
DirtyKate: Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
J-dogg: You can't hurry good pizza.
J-dogg: I'm on my way now though
&lt;pause&gt;
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
J-dogg: How did you know?
J-dogg: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
J-dogg: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
J-dogg: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
J-dogg: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the ****?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate: ****

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only **** women...
J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipshit.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr

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