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Comics you couldn't use as tissue paper due to a high content of shit in them

post #1 of 25
1/20/00 at 6:17am
Thread Starter 
Some of the WORST comics I've EVER read...
(notice they're all Marvel, for I read little else)

Alpha Flight kinda sucked
Dr. Strange weren't so hot, either
Spider-Woman
Nightwatch
Dazzler
Ravage 2099

And Numero Uno? NFL SuperPro, of course.
If a comic requires a big name star like Spider-Man to be in it, it's gonna suck. I think that's "Lee's Constant." Look it up in physics...

Bonus: The Others (Image) - This one put me right to sleep.
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post #2 of 25
1/20/00 at 9:42am
Anything by Rob Liefeld.

Tribe.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns.

Right!
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post #3 of 25
1/20/00 at 10:07am
ROB LIEFELD SUCKS!!!!!! I HATE HIM!!!! I WISH HE WOULD DIE!!!!!

I wish one of those incredibly pointy breasted bimbos that he always draws would amble her 10 ft frame over and poke his eyes out with with her 62DD rocket breast. But maybe he could draw without his eyes, it might actually help him a great deal, so on to step 2.

Maybe then one of his 400 lb heroes with size 3 feet, would fall on him and cut off both of Liefeld's hands and his head due to the fact that he has million knives/swords/spears/magic rabbits tacked on just for show.

And maybe then they could bury his mutilated corpse under a pile of the weird-looking boxes all of his heroes carry, that he likes to call guns!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and his Bloodwulf sucked, it was a total rip-off of the Main man. LOBO!

[This message has been edited by chenzzo (edited 01-20-2000).]
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post #4 of 25
1/20/00 at 8:33pm
A few years ago, I was at the Chicago Comicon as a "professional" (yeah, short-lived profession). And I achieved my greatest moment in comic-book history-Rob Liefeld was sitting in a dunk tank-AND I PUT HIM DOWN! Peter David was willing to pay, but it was my dime and my time and I flushed the little turd. I had three balls to do it-I did it on the second try. After I tossed the first one, Rob started taunting me, "C'momC'mon, you'all got ta do betta thanat-Damn!"

I stopped, looked at the huge crowd amassed, and said, "Is it just me, or does he look AND sound like Marky Mark?"

The entire crowd, made up of some of the heaviest hitters in comics, collectively died. I was so proud. These guys started in on Liefeld fierce-singing "Good Vibration", and all kinds of Marky Mark/New Kids stuff. A few seconds later, I dunked him, after going through the Chevy Chase "...nanananananananana...be the ball..." Caddyshack schtick.

Just thought I'd share.
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post #5 of 25
1/21/00 at 10:04am
Wish I coulda seen it. Better yet, wish I had pictures.
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post #6 of 25
1/21/00 at 1:03pm
So do I, my friend...So do I...
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post #7 of 25
5/24/05 at 3:34pm
Rob's Ego is bigger then the universe. How could a guy be proud to be "self-taught" and suck? If you want to be a professional comic book artist,..GO TO SCHOOL! learn about anatomy and proper sructure. I think Rob's fanbase consists of ego maniacs you used to know in school that thought they were the shit, when in fact they sucked the big one. Rob, your train wreck of a career is over. Grow an imagination. Go to school and learn how to draw!
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post #8 of 25
5/24/05 at 3:49pm
Secret Wars 2 featuring the unbeatable team of Jim Shooter and Al Milgrom.
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post #9 of 25
5/25/05 at 3:23pm
Top Cow Comics, period.
Liefeld, the actual guy, I wouldn't wipe my ass with him.
Any DC or Marvel "event" book.
Spawn, of course.
Mark Millar's Wanted.
Any of Marvel's X-Books (Morrison & Claremont, excluded)
About 70% of any Batbook released in the past 5-7yrs.
The Marvel Version of Brian Michael Bendis (excluding Alias).
Dreamwave Comics, period. (nor would anyone else apparently).
Anything Chuck Austen touches.
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post #10 of 25
5/25/05 at 4:06pm
Breach.
The New Avengers.
Green Arrow.
The Outsiders.
NFL Superpro.
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post #11 of 25
6/1/05 at 3:17pm
Frank Miller's Dark Knight Strikes Again. So bad it retroactively ruins Dark Knight Returns and any other good Batman stories Miller did.
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post #12 of 25
6/1/05 at 3:30pm
Frank Miller's Ronin and 300.

Also CrossGen's The Path.

Boring, unreadable, mediocre.
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post #13 of 25
6/1/05 at 3:32pm
JMS' run on AMAZING SPIDER-MAN.
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post #14 of 25
6/1/05 at 4:04pm
I have to disagree with The Breach and Ronin. The Breach is shaping up to be somewhat of an interesting read. Ronin is an excellent graphic novel. Hell, where would Samurai Jack be without it?

I will add a few to the list though:

G.I. Joe
Transformers
The old Star Wars comics
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post #15 of 25
6/1/05 at 5:28pm
Green Lantern:Rebirth and the new ongoing series
Toe Tags
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post #16 of 25
6/8/05 at 2:34am
Where to begin?

Clive Barker's entire Barkerverse

Venom

Nightstalkers

Heroes Reborn: Captain America

Dark Domain

Armorines

Ninjak

Ash

The Last Temptation of Alice Cooper
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post #17 of 25
6/16/05 at 5:57pm
I forget the bad stuff so quickly... it's a gift I'm thankful for having. But some of the recent tripe:

Day of Vengeance (I hated issue 1, gave issue 2 a chance and it was worse. I gave up)
James Kolchaka's SuperFuckers (with the exception of his Sketchbook Diaries, I've not found anything else of his to enjoy)
Almost anything out of the initial few years of Image (save for the Maxx, it's all in a box and been untouched for almost a decade... might as well take it for the campfire next time I'm out).
Most of Marvel's output circa from 1991 to, well, whenever Marvels came out (thus ending the shitstorm that was the "Marvel Boom and Bust")
The "bad girl" era of comics... all of it, Lady Death, Catwoman, Vampirella, Warrior Nun, and all the rest.
Justice League post-Giffen, pre-Morrison.
Did someone say Liefeld. Yeah. Liefeld.
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post #18 of 25
6/18/05 at 7:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by geek.ent.
The "bad girl" era of comics... all of it, Lady Death, Catwoman, Vampirella, Warrior Nun, and all the rest.

Warrior Nun, what a classic!
A nun with huge tits(you could even see her erect nipples thru her dress) who fights against demons!
Bet that made a lot of christians pissed.
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post #19 of 25
6/23/05 at 12:28am
Cable makes me weep softly to sleep. As does this 'GI Joe: Reloaded' crap. The super-polished ink work and cleanliness to everything makes it miserable. What ever happened to the fact that, I don't know, GI Joe is run by hardasses?

Alot of people like Batman: Knightfall, but... ugh. Azrael. Ugh.
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post #20 of 25
7/18/05 at 5:05am
Chris Claremont's run on Uncanny X-Men, post 1983. The whole franchise began to suck after Paul Smith left, and barring occasional outbursts of quality, like Whedon's Astonishing or the odd Art Adams-drawn annual, it never really recovered. (The Jim Lee years do not count.)

Every post-Moore iteration of Swamp Thing (disclosure: never read the Veitch issues). The character needs to be retired from service.

Any attempt to resurrect Howard the Duck. Apart from being cursed forever by George Lucas, the character is immersed in the 1970s and just doesn't work outside the Ford/Carter era, and at any rate Howard isn't the same since Disney forced him to wear pants.
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post #21 of 25
7/18/05 at 5:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
Secret Wars 2 featuring the unbeatable team of Jim Shooter and Al Milgrom.
Al Milgrom-- the only artist in the industry who inks with his fingers. (Is he still working in comics at all?)
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post #22 of 25
7/18/05 at 8:21am
Well theres way too much too list since 95% of comics are utter shit. I think its more interesting to note comics that everybody considers good but is actually shit. I think Y: The last Man is pretty shitty, and borderline racist, with all the anit arab and pro jewish propoganda.

And Ronin was fantastic, Frank Miller is still the king.
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post #23 of 25
7/18/05 at 11:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata
Anything by Rob Liefeld.

Tribe.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns.

Right!
Are you saying you think Dark Knight Returns is shit? Really? That's cool and all, but I'm curious to know why you think it sucks so much.
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post #24 of 25
7/18/05 at 11:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeagol
Are you saying you think Dark Knight Returns is shit? Really? That's cool and all, but I'm curious to know why you think it sucks so much.
If he's compelled to answer, which he's probably not, I imagine his answer to that question could turn this into a very, very, very long thread.
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post #25 of 25
7/18/05 at 11:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny
If he's compelled to answer, which he's probably not, I imagine his answer to that question could turn this into a very, very, very long thread.
It could, but I won't lend to that. I just wanna hear why and that's pretty much it for me.
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