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Im in Hell

post #1 of 26
8/31/00 at 7:07pm
Thread Starter 
Its 108°F...hasnt rained in a record 60 days...Im in Hell for sure!





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Im feeling' frisky.
Shelby
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post #2 of 26
8/31/00 at 7:12pm
Get out of the oven, Shelby!
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post #3 of 26
8/31/00 at 7:40pm
No Shelby, Hell is being in Moscow when it is sooo cold and the wind is blowing sooooo hard that when you spit or pee it freeses before it hits the ground. And you finally realize the girl you've been dating blew her nose yesterday and it froze and you were too cold to notice and you just made love to her. That is hell. Or maybe Hell is when its 119 degrees and you forget and sit on the hood of your car wearing very short and loose shorts and your little friends have just made an appearance, unbeknownst to you, just before you sit down and you have forgotten and the metal brings your memory back, just like that.SNAP! Now that is Hell.

[This message has been edited by Will (edited 08-31-2000).]
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post #4 of 26
8/31/00 at 11:07pm
SHELBY where the fuck do YOU live?
It is 108.5 here, right now!

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Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
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post #5 of 26
8/31/00 at 11:34pm
Thread Starter 
Ok Ok Will, ya got me there...but it FEELS like hell!

And GL you know Im right next door to you Im just going by what they showed on the weather channel...and you KNOW its damn bad when the weather channel sends out the correspondents to your city because of the gawd damn heat! Thank whatever above for ACs.

Oh, and GL..I may soon be literally next door to you soon We are moving and Lewisville is on our check list.

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Im feeling' frisky.
Shelby
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post #6 of 26
9/3/00 at 6:40pm
If I wanted people to know I lived in Lewisville, TX, 75067 I would have mentioned it! Now SHHHHH!

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Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
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post #7 of 26
9/5/00 at 3:38am
Lewisville????????? Are you serious?? Where the hell is that. Is that near Brownwood? Not to make fun of your little bitty. ol town. Is that about the size of Ozona or Eagle Pass or Presidio?
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post #8 of 26
9/5/00 at 9:59am
Lewisville is the buffer zone between Denton (We Have NO Pretentions) and Dallas, if you're taking 635 to 35 to Denton. It's a huge suburb of Dallas. I used to live in Foxhollow Apts, for those who know the area, right up the highway from the Xerox plant (where I worked. That was a sweet comute...2mins)
More info than you really needed to know.
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post #9 of 26
9/5/00 at 2:11pm
Anybody in Dallas going to the new Turkey Con up there (It's not called turkey con, it just takes place over Thanksgiving weekend, like an old Larrycon (Dallas Fantasy Fair) used to.)? Hastur & I should be there.
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post #10 of 26
9/5/00 at 5:51pm
SHIT!

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Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
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post #11 of 26
9/5/00 at 8:14pm
Wanna hear about Hell? Yesterday was the hottest day in recorded history in Austin at 110 degrees.

Our A/C broke Saturday afternoon. My choice: roast at home or spend labor day weekend at the In-laws. Went with the In-laws after a hellish Saturday night in the roaster.
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post #12 of 26
9/6/00 at 10:26am
*wonders if the General's reaction is because he just discovered he lives in my old apartment.*

*Wonders if the General's reaction is because he just discovered he knows me.*


*Wonders if I'm wondering out loud again.*

Eyeball, how's 6th street holding up in the weather? I have this picture of people being so stubborn about going out there on the weekends that everyone's walking around in pressure suits.

BTW, I have "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" stuck in my head, now. When you walk outside, is it supposed to smell like fire & brimstone?
(Just north of Houston there's several thousand fires acres burning away. It's our turn.)


[This message has been edited by Coyote (edited 09-06-2000).]
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post #13 of 26
9/7/00 at 4:53pm
You know you're in Texas when you step outside in 94 degree weather in September and go "Hey! It cooled off! It's a nice day."
IT'S SO HOT IN TEXAS THAT...


The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt, and pepper.

A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it-but for my 7-year-old."

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You can say 110 degrees without fainting.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.


You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
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post #14 of 26
9/7/00 at 5:04pm
I used to live in Singapore. Monkeys would occasionally get heat-stroke and fall onto the expressway, and hit the public buses. While I was amused, I felt bad about the smashed monkeys.

This is not a joke.
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post #15 of 26
9/7/00 at 5:40pm
Thread Starter 
You know you're in Texas when you step outside in 94 degree weather in September and go "Hey! It cooled off! It's a nice day."

I said that very thing yesterday! Im so happy its cooled off. I swear Im moving to the northwest!!!

I used to live in Singapore. Monkeys would occasionally get heat-stroke and fall onto the expressway, and hit the public buses. While I was amused, I felt bad about the smashed monkeys.

You know, I really laughed at this. And now I feel bad...well, not really. That has got to be a damn interesting thing to see

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You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me not you!
Shelby

[This message has been edited by Shelby (edited 09-07-2000).]
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post #16 of 26
9/8/00 at 10:26am
You know you're in Texas when the newscaster says "We may break into the 80's tomorrow" and it doesn't mean she think's it'll get warmer.

And this whole time I'm thinking about this episode of Red Dwarf when Lister's burning up because the air conditioner is on the blitz...and the temp gauge shows 92 degrees.



[This message has been edited by Coyote (edited 09-08-2000).]
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post #17 of 26
9/9/00 at 1:09pm
And the 80 degree weather was refreshing!

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Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
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post #18 of 26
9/10/00 at 2:40pm
"I'm in Hell."

"I was in Dodge City."

Anybody else see this one coming?

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Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
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post #19 of 26
9/21/00 at 12:46pm
I thought you should all know that it is I that am in hell. It has been in the 80's and 90's, here in the LA area. Well at least there is no humidity. I have had to go to the pool, a lot, and work on my tan, because we get cranky here when it goes over 77 in the summer or below 55 in the winter. Can you blame us? It pisses me off that the ice in my Perrier melts fo fast when it is 90 degree, by the pool. Further, can you believe it actually goes down to 70 or slightly below at night. That's just not fair. Okay, I know you are saying, "Well that's bad Will, but come on, what's the climax to all this?" Okay! the capper came this morning. I got up and found that it had actually been RAINING last night and it was drizzling today. (CAN YOU FREAKING BELIEVE THAT?) What a shitty day. 72 and it is actually drizzling and it is not even October yet! I tell you, it isn't fair. God must have a hard on for Southern California.

[This message has been edited by Will (edited 09-21-2000).]
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post #20 of 26
9/21/00 at 2:50pm
Yes and good ridance to the bastard too! However, I read yesterday that there are other parts of the country in peril from a potential, "Big One." New York, Boston, St. Louis, Salt Lake City, hey I am feeling more and more secure on here on the San Anreas.

The big quake is just another reason, I am in hell.
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post #21 of 26
9/21/00 at 2:56pm
From the handy CHUD pocket Dictionary: Ridance: American Slang: Rid-ants. A bug spray that works well on little insects. From the Old Spanish, Tio which is the word for aunt eater. As opposed to Riddance.
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post #22 of 26
9/21/00 at 4:13pm
like 80 some odd days w/ o rain now!
But at least its under 100 degrees now
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post #23 of 26
9/21/00 at 6:44pm
God damn CANADIAN!
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post #24 of 26
9/21/00 at 8:28pm
What is s-n-o-w? I didn't understand that word.
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post #25 of 26
9/21/00 at 9:19pm
I am really sorry to do this but, I realize I probably made some of you shed a tear for ol' Will in my earlier post on the trials I am forced to endure here in LA, weatherwise.

Well it has gotten worse. It has actually been overcast here for the ENTIRE day! Can you believe that? its 5:00 PM and its 70 degrees and there is no sun! I mean I see no article where the President has declared us a disaster area. Hell, we need mochas and cashmier sweaters and gucci blankets. I haven't seen any. I tell you, I am really in hell! Won't this madness stop?

[This message has been edited by Will (edited 09-21-2000).]
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post #26 of 26
9/21/00 at 10:08pm
It's nice and breezy here, just beautiful fall weather
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