So I'm typing this quickly as I have found myself with a brief respite from the shit I call work (this is why I don't come 'round to play so often).
I have a dilemma and I want your opinions.
STORY:
When I was in Junior High, I had two "Very Bestest Friends Ever". We did everything together, we loved all the same things, we were the only girls in a small fairly upscale "preppie" town who liked movies and heavy metal. We were the misfit girls trapped in a sea of Gitano and Z-Cavarici.
One of us had some problems with her home life. She was very angst ridden in that way that only pre-teens can be. She ended up attempting suicide, so myself and my other friend did what we felt was our duty. We told on her. She was subsequently shipped to a psych ward hospital for young people with mental disorders, drug problems, and/pr depression issues. We called it the "Happy Hospital". She was there about a month, she hated us for telling on her, but we both knew she was secretly relieved.
While in the Happy Hospital, she met another girl from MA (at this time in life I lived in NH where this all happened though I'm a born and bred Masshole). She became good friends with this girl, she confided in her, she complained to her about us yadda yadda. Anywho, in an effort to make a long ass story short (too late) and get back to work, this new girl made it out of the hospital 3 months after our friend and we all of course had to meet. And we did, and to say we hit it off is an understatement. We were grand friends.
As time went by my parents divorced and my Mum brought me and sis back to MA. Very close to where this new girl lived so of course we started to hang out more and more often. Both us being from wacked out broken homes we became closer and closer.
We were quintissential best friends for almost 13 years, until two years ago, when I ended a 5 year relationship with a man I was supposed to marry, but who I had been slowly growing away from for 2 years. He was bad mojo, no drive, no will to do anything worthwhile, full of excuses, didn't want to move out of his mother's and on and on. She was there for me through all of it as we had always been there for each other through everything, from age 12 and on. We had both known this ex of mine for equal amounts of time, though she was always my friend more than his, but she was loya to me while still, at the same time, trying to be there for him.
When things started up between Johnny and I, she was there too. The time span between my final break up with this ex and my correspondence with Johnny are pretty close, however, nothing romantic happened between Johnny and I until I went to see him in November of 2001. I asked my friend to come. I was nervous, I needed the support, she even got a frre plane ticket. I said to her that I didn't know what was going to happen, I'd never done anything like this ever in my life and if things went bad I would need someone immediately whether we left immediately or not. And if things went well, then we could share the happiness right? Like we always did.
Well, things obviously went well. During our stay, Johnny and I spent every minute together. We also, the three of us, had dinner, went to a party, played pool etc. However, unbeknownst to my lovestruck self, the entire time, my friend felt as I was completely ignoring her. I will admit we spent an awful lot of time secluded in Johnny's room, but I did not think it was rude and also, I wasn't quite all there, as anyone who's gone head over heels for another person can attest that it's like living in a fog.
On our last day of the trip, she was hanging out with Johnny's roomate and we hung out together. Johnny and I ended up caught in after Thanksgiving traffic and missed the plane back while she did not, so she had to fly back alone.
When I got home I didn't hear from her for days. We finally got on the phone and agreed to meet up and talk. It went badly. I was called selfish and concieted and cruel. She said I treated her like shit and that I probably must have treated my ex like shit as well if I could do it to her so easily. We have not spoken since then.
I am a pretty stubborn and strong willed person so I managed to get along, but I am still to this day very wounded over this entire ordeal. I do not feel that I was a selfish or horrid person to her. And her bringing my break up into our last conversation pissed me off because I could only assume that my ex had spoken with her and fed her the lies he fed everyone else (that I cheated on him with Johnny in Sept. when I first met him, or that we never broke up until after I met Johnny which is all 100% pure bullshit) I certainly did not do anything untoward to my ex other than live with him a year longer than I knew (deep down) I should've.
And I admit that my behavior in that respect was cowardly and I should've broken things off with him sooner or said something instead of hiding my fears. Had I done that I feel my credibility would've been stronger with her (IE: why hide things from your best friend, you sister? When you never did before) and some others who no longer speak to me. I honestly have just begun to adjust to her absence, although I dream about talking to her a lot.
On Christmas day, Johnny and I went to my Mum's. When my Mum woke up, she came downstairs and we started making our meal. She then asked, "oh did ____ call you?"
My initial reply, stubborn bitch that I am, was "why the fuck would she call me?" My mother said she had called the previous day to wish me a Merry Christmas, and of course, being 2 years out of my loop, didn't know that Johnny had moved here for me and we lived in a whole other town. My mother gave her our number, yet she hasn't called.
What do you think? I am asking you all because objective opinions are always helpful. Should I try to call the last # I have with her name on it (girl moves around more than the frikkin gypsies)? She didn't give a number to my mother. Should I email to the last address I have? Should I remove her from my block sender list on email and IM? I am stubborn, yes, but don't take kindly to vicious accusations like the ones she spit at me. Should I grow up and do something?
Thanks for reading the rambling, I appreciate it, it's time for me to get back to work. I will be back soon I hope, to see your advice.
I have a dilemma and I want your opinions.
STORY:
When I was in Junior High, I had two "Very Bestest Friends Ever". We did everything together, we loved all the same things, we were the only girls in a small fairly upscale "preppie" town who liked movies and heavy metal. We were the misfit girls trapped in a sea of Gitano and Z-Cavarici.
One of us had some problems with her home life. She was very angst ridden in that way that only pre-teens can be. She ended up attempting suicide, so myself and my other friend did what we felt was our duty. We told on her. She was subsequently shipped to a psych ward hospital for young people with mental disorders, drug problems, and/pr depression issues. We called it the "Happy Hospital". She was there about a month, she hated us for telling on her, but we both knew she was secretly relieved.
While in the Happy Hospital, she met another girl from MA (at this time in life I lived in NH where this all happened though I'm a born and bred Masshole). She became good friends with this girl, she confided in her, she complained to her about us yadda yadda. Anywho, in an effort to make a long ass story short (too late) and get back to work, this new girl made it out of the hospital 3 months after our friend and we all of course had to meet. And we did, and to say we hit it off is an understatement. We were grand friends.
As time went by my parents divorced and my Mum brought me and sis back to MA. Very close to where this new girl lived so of course we started to hang out more and more often. Both us being from wacked out broken homes we became closer and closer.
We were quintissential best friends for almost 13 years, until two years ago, when I ended a 5 year relationship with a man I was supposed to marry, but who I had been slowly growing away from for 2 years. He was bad mojo, no drive, no will to do anything worthwhile, full of excuses, didn't want to move out of his mother's and on and on. She was there for me through all of it as we had always been there for each other through everything, from age 12 and on. We had both known this ex of mine for equal amounts of time, though she was always my friend more than his, but she was loya to me while still, at the same time, trying to be there for him.
When things started up between Johnny and I, she was there too. The time span between my final break up with this ex and my correspondence with Johnny are pretty close, however, nothing romantic happened between Johnny and I until I went to see him in November of 2001. I asked my friend to come. I was nervous, I needed the support, she even got a frre plane ticket. I said to her that I didn't know what was going to happen, I'd never done anything like this ever in my life and if things went bad I would need someone immediately whether we left immediately or not. And if things went well, then we could share the happiness right? Like we always did.
Well, things obviously went well. During our stay, Johnny and I spent every minute together. We also, the three of us, had dinner, went to a party, played pool etc. However, unbeknownst to my lovestruck self, the entire time, my friend felt as I was completely ignoring her. I will admit we spent an awful lot of time secluded in Johnny's room, but I did not think it was rude and also, I wasn't quite all there, as anyone who's gone head over heels for another person can attest that it's like living in a fog.
On our last day of the trip, she was hanging out with Johnny's roomate and we hung out together. Johnny and I ended up caught in after Thanksgiving traffic and missed the plane back while she did not, so she had to fly back alone.
When I got home I didn't hear from her for days. We finally got on the phone and agreed to meet up and talk. It went badly. I was called selfish and concieted and cruel. She said I treated her like shit and that I probably must have treated my ex like shit as well if I could do it to her so easily. We have not spoken since then.
I am a pretty stubborn and strong willed person so I managed to get along, but I am still to this day very wounded over this entire ordeal. I do not feel that I was a selfish or horrid person to her. And her bringing my break up into our last conversation pissed me off because I could only assume that my ex had spoken with her and fed her the lies he fed everyone else (that I cheated on him with Johnny in Sept. when I first met him, or that we never broke up until after I met Johnny which is all 100% pure bullshit) I certainly did not do anything untoward to my ex other than live with him a year longer than I knew (deep down) I should've.
And I admit that my behavior in that respect was cowardly and I should've broken things off with him sooner or said something instead of hiding my fears. Had I done that I feel my credibility would've been stronger with her (IE: why hide things from your best friend, you sister? When you never did before) and some others who no longer speak to me. I honestly have just begun to adjust to her absence, although I dream about talking to her a lot.
On Christmas day, Johnny and I went to my Mum's. When my Mum woke up, she came downstairs and we started making our meal. She then asked, "oh did ____ call you?"
My initial reply, stubborn bitch that I am, was "why the fuck would she call me?" My mother said she had called the previous day to wish me a Merry Christmas, and of course, being 2 years out of my loop, didn't know that Johnny had moved here for me and we lived in a whole other town. My mother gave her our number, yet she hasn't called.
What do you think? I am asking you all because objective opinions are always helpful. Should I try to call the last # I have with her name on it (girl moves around more than the frikkin gypsies)? She didn't give a number to my mother. Should I email to the last address I have? Should I remove her from my block sender list on email and IM? I am stubborn, yes, but don't take kindly to vicious accusations like the ones she spit at me. Should I grow up and do something?
Thanks for reading the rambling, I appreciate it, it's time for me to get back to work. I will be back soon I hope, to see your advice.
