Single Chewers only!!!! - Page 2

Not to break into a thread to which I don't belong but after lurking I must tell frére Blunt that I myself did not have a girlfriend until I was 21 or 22 and we are now married. Take your time and as our cajun francophones say "Laissez les bons temps rouler." or some such. End of intrusion.

I have been single for a long time. How long?....5 years. Not to say that I haven't had a few one night stands in between, but it's not the same. I like being single. Though, it would be nice for someone to make me a sandwich every now and then. What I wouldn't give for somebody besides me to wash my clothes. Oh, how I hate doing laundry....Maybe I'll get me one of them russian mail order brides to cook and clean for me. I don't care who she has sex with, just warsh muh drawers dammit!

I´m the next in the single thread. The only relationship i had lasted for about 3 weeks until she told me that she betrayed me with her ex and that she will go back to em. I´m 20 years old now and really looking for a woman. About the pain of sleeping alone every night : it is real pain. Always singleplayer mode doesnt make fun.
Its not that i only want to have sex, its the warmth and closeness i really need.
But i ve really problems to find a woman that fits to me. Those in my age are too teeniestyle and their greatest pleasure is to party with friends : means having many drinks, dancing to cheap techno music and waves of make-up. You cant talk with them.
I dont get to know any older or more fitting ones because i dont know where to search for them.

There is no such thing as that person out there meant for you. Look at all the millions of people in the world who suffer and die of petty things like starvation and diseases we have cures for. They don't have the luxury of thinking about love. Only we, the rich, bratty, and selfish Americans think we are entitled to love. Well, we're not. Many die alone and hopeless and many here will as well. For some, there is no hope and keeping the illusion that there is alive will only make you more miserable.

Keep searching though because you never know if you going to be one of the few the hope and chance favors. For others, guys like Django up there, well, I'll see you at the end of the docks with a shotgun to your own head. I'd be happy to hand you a shell. Sometimes, you just gotta appreciate the majesty of dying alone and a loser. You won't be alone pal, there's millions of us out there who feel the same way. The world isn't world saving. All the good that happens only serves to amplify the bad.

I may be the first person here you'd see with a scattergun, but I'd damn sure be the last to point it at myself.

Reality isn't a death sentence.

No it's not, but you've always been a cynic Django. Why continue on if the world sucks so much in your eyes? Why continue on this pointless dance if there is nothing we want more out of it? I'd like to know what keeps you waking up in the morning. There are days when I feel exactly as you do. Why do you go on?

*edit

I suddenly felt that maybe I should answer that first. Why do I go on. There alot that I do like about life, but it seems that I get up every morning and live a life that's pointless. I work to feed myself and enjoy what I can. My whole income goes towards personal amusement. I contribute nothing of lasting value to humanity. All I really do is consume resources so that I may live another. Does it matter if I live another day? I will never be clever enough to the point that society will miss me if I were gone.

So why. Is a pointless existence one that should be lived out or is it just a waste of resources and potential?

One of the bigger miscalculations most people around these parts make about me is that I'm this sad, bitter person holding up in some fortified bunker deep behind enemy lines with only the shadows and demons within to keep me company.

That's complete bullshit.

I've lived thru shit and seen crap the likes of which no one ever should. And thankfully not many has. While I may not walk around with a smile on my face laughing like a fool with their head in the clouds, I don't curse life and those who live it either.

I'm a realist. I have no elevated expectations of things. You gotta earn my trust. And some have. Some haven't.

And like I said before, most people don't know what love is until they lose it. I have. So I know what makes it special. Am I better, more gifted than most? Shit no. I am, I'm me. And no one should think that they know me until they do.

The biggest miscalculation most people around these parts make about me?

That this is an act...

Oh, I know, I was just being self-deprecatingly humorous.

Dude, stop looking at all the Barbie wannabes and look past them to the chicks who are too shy to call attention to themselves with lots and lots of makeup. Some of us are even half-way attractive despite the lack of eyemakeup and lipstick and the skin that isn't orange and the hair that isn't blonde. That's where you'll find good conversation, fewer instances of complete drunkenness, and better taste in music.

It kind of sounds like you might want to have a girlfriend mostly for the sake of having a girlfriend. Be patient, don't settle for the first girl who'll put up with you- unless, of course, it's not settling and you really are truly madly in love and know she is too- or you will make a colossal mistake. I can totally understand where you're coming from though. My mom is 30 years older than me, and I'm really hoping to be finish(ed/ing) having kids by then. Married by 22 would be wonderful but I'm tryng to be realistic and hope more for maybe age 25.

Jennifer's right on the money about looking past the girls in the spotlight, to the substance lurking in the shadows. I know this, as I DJ at several local nightclubs, and am relatively shy myself. Time after time, I see the shiny happy pretty people getting all the love, while people that I know for a fact are extremely cool and smart and cute (yes, even without makeup!) get passed over. For the most part I figure that it's ok because the type of guy who would go for those obvious ones probably isn't worth their time anyway, but it still sucks. It happens to me all the time, too. When I'm not spinning or hanging with my pals, I tend to lurk on the sidelines, watching others have a good time, just smiling and observing, etc. Every once in a while, someone cool will come over and we'll chat, but it's not a common experience at all.

I'm 25, officially single for the better part of 2 years, and while there are times I miss that aspect of my life terribly (I'm a hopeless-romantic at heart), I'm generally comfortable enough with myself to know that if something's gonna happen, it'll happen. I've learned the hard way that aggressively looking for "the one" will either result in a mismatch or in you making them "the one" in your mind and blurring the facts to suit what you wish was true. It's frustrating to know that sometimes you gotta stop looking to find something, but in general it does work. Of course, I've been doing that for 2 years and I'm still single, so maybe you shouldn't be listening to me at all...

It is nice to know I'm not alone, and the fact that you attractive, intelligent and funny folks are having trouble meeting someone worthwhile does lessen the blow to my ego a bit. I have a feeling this thread will become one of my new faves every time I get lonely... frown

hey Kite, being in Northampton might not help much, what with it being full of lesbians and all... wink

Im joing the priesthood.

LOL! So true. Yes, it truly tests the mettle of us heterosexual males, but it is a great town nonetheless. I take it you've been here before. I try to get out to Boston at least a few times a year, but I haven't been in a while. I'm sure the dating scene is better, at least. Thanks for giving me another excuse/scapegoat for my singledom! Yes, it's because they're all lesbians... Of course!

Hi. I'm single. At least in spirit. The court will agree in a few weeks.

yeah Kite, i know a few folks who still live out in Northampton. i also did some writing work a few years back for Kitchen Sink Comics which was based out there before the industry imploded and was out there quite a few times for that. and for the past few years i've been coming out for an annual "pub crawl" that generally happens whatever Saturday falls around St. Patrick's Day. i can only assume it's gonna happen again this year, but will let you know for sure closer to the date, and if i'm gonna attend

anyway, back to singleness.

See, i´m not interested in one of those Barbies, i really tried to get to know some of the shyer ones but it didnt work yet. i know that those are mostly the even more beautiful ones. My problem is, i dont have many possibilities for meeting new people. In our small town there are always the same people on the same parties which i dont like and there are nearly no other locations or events where to find new people.
If i´m lucky, i ll be able to finish the last school grade and can go to university in september. I´m sure that it would be much easier there.

and Jennifer...thanks for answering
this hug is for you

I have to step in here to say two things:

You kids who are 18/19/21/22 and want to be married and/or have kids by the time your my age? Please. I'm 26, almost 27. I do not plan, even though I am in a relationship, to have kids until I'm at least 33/35. This is, of course, my choice that I've made, and I realize that its slightly different than the rest. However, I will say this from my long years of dating/wanting to get married early/whatnot:

Maturity makes a relationship. It helps you break off a relationship when it isn't right. It helps you communicate through the tough spots when it is right, but not "quite right." The biggest mistake *I* almost made, was getting married at 23 because I *wanted* to be married. Take some time, learn about yourself, etc. You and your partner will be much happier and better off and well adjusted. And those kids you have will learn communication and what real love is from you.

But then, that's just me, who enjoys being single, fliting with boys, and going out with the girls.

what prala said.

i'm 33. i know VERY few people who got married in their early-to-mid 20s who are still married (a good friend is on his second before 30).

my company is 80% female. i've seen a lot of women more interested (without realizing it) in the notion and process of getting married and/or having kids/"settling down", without giving enough consideration to what happens AFTER. which, i assume, is why they get bored/screw around/get divorced. there's been plenty of girls i've got the "411" on, only to learn they're 27, divorced with a 2 year old kid (which also describes my last pseudo-girlfriend). this is frigteningly common.

i think a lot of it comes from societal standards and/or family pressure. i can tell you this: when i was in the waning years of my 20s, holiday gatherings were a nightmare because all i heard was "you need to find a girlfriend and get married", "we need more pitter-pattering feet", etc. and now, since my married cousins are pretty much all terminally fucking miserable in their marriages, i don't hear a damn thing (except maybe "you know, maybe you had the right idea staying single", as if it's been a conscious decision all along)...

i'm certainly not saying don't do it... just try not to be in a hurry.

those are my pennies, there are two...

I'm definitely not in the category of girls who want to get married just to get married. If my current bf (long long distance thing, that's why I qualify for this thread ) and I split up, I won't be running off with the next guy who comes along. I'm perfectly okay waiting for the right person and moment for all of that family stuff, but just from my own experience within my family and watching some of my friends... I'd prefer to be done with the childbearing by the time I'm 30. The last thing I need is a 16 year-old kid driving me up the wall when I hit menopause.

Oh, and here's a topic for the other ladies. Do weddings frighten you? I went to my friend's wedding last weekend and one of the youth ministers is getting married this weekend, and while the white dresses are gorgeous, the whole ceremony and parading around is all too... ceremonial for me.

I doubt I'll ever get married again.

Damm skippy. I see it ALL THE TIME. and you know what? I was like that once, and I'm pretty honest about it. My most recently ended relationship and I discussed it, and I thought about it alot--until one day I woke up and was like "waitaminute. NO."

And jennifer, weddings frighten the living bejesus out of me. If it weren't for my parents, I'd totally do a simple "yes yes. lets go have champagne" thing.

Parents or no parents, that's exactly what I'd do!

I've heard eloping rules! Getting married on your own terms and screw the masses...

The last wedding I went to, the priest looked like Max Von Sydow from The Exorcist, and the photographer looked like David Warner from The Omen. That scared me...

And never date anyone from France, unless their name is Matt.

As Always, Diva hits it on the head.

Loving yourself, not worrying about when its going to happen (and hey--when you DO get a significant other, don't think about marriage or anything permanent for a long, long time.) and having good friends is the best thing to do.

Don't call them perscriptions for single life, its more like perscriptions for life.

They ain't too many girls named Matt, y'know...

That's why they're special.

Did it.

Divorce was final last November.

How about we all just adopt adorable refugee orphans and live in a big commune in the hills?

wait. communes don't have beer and disco. scratch that.

Plus, the kids I already have might object.

nah. kids love refugee children!

or, you know. not. ;/

Tell me about it. This Christmas my uncle asked me why I didn´t have a girlfriend. Sigh! I really hate the pressure from family.

Edit: Damn spelling

You got it easy.

I've got 200 kids who ask me why I don't have a girlfriend every sunday morning.

Luckily, most people I know stay out of it, knowing what an emotional wreck I still am from the last one.

i hope you teach some sort of church class or something... otherwise i don't think i want an explanation

You are so right about that. I used to have the problem with not having any self esteem and thinking that having a girlfriend would solve all problems. It wasnt working being so desperate. I learned that there is no better person I can be then myself, and look at me now... happily in a very strong relationship with Heart, which on February 3rd will have lasted for 1 year. Having a girlfriend isnt solve all. You need to appreciate who you are before anything will happen. Girls tend to not go for the ones with no self esteem and who are down on themselves a lot. I should know, I went through 2 years of being like that, with no sucess really.

Who is this "Heart"?

As if my year hasn't been bad enough, I just found out some horrible things about the guy I just broke up with.

And by "horrible" here people, I mean "detrimentaly to myself and my health."

I'm never trusting anyone again.

I'm sorry, Prala. I'm pretty sure I get exactly what you mean.

That's one area where you can't be too paranoid. I hope that he didn't get a chance to involve you in said "horrible" things.

thanks, micah.

by "bad" i mean "punishable by stoning in many countries"

Oh, prala, honey, I hope everything turns out ok.

{{{hug}}}

I figured as much. But what can you do with blind fools like that? You're a treasure, Prala. Always have been, always will be.

People too stupid to realize that may benefit from a sound thrashing to accompany the aforementioned stones.

GAH.
*erases a request to stone him*
*erases the stupid question of the day: Anything we can do to help?*
*erases a few more replies, and just offers hugs and chocolate.*

Thanks.

Thanks Xymog. This is what I need right now.

BIG ANGRY FRIENDS.

Dont play stupid with me.