Hung up on a telemarketer today

I've been known to put the phone down on the counter, after answering a telemarketer call, and walk away. I check back after about fifteen minutes.

They've always hung up by then.

We have in our Studio A right now a production company doing several spots for commercial television distribution about the "do not call". They've been hired by the Attorney General's office to make these spots.

The ironic thing is our Membership Department(PBS affiliate, once again) contracts with a telemarketing firm for our lapsed members and Capital Campaign donation requests.

After all, non-profits are exempt from the "do not call" list, at least in California. The good thing is we do not buy or obtain call lists. We use only current and previous members.

But this "do not call" list thing is going to wreak havoc as most of the general population won't understand that we're exempt.

Oh well...another PR situation I have to deal with one at a time.

so is it 7-1 or 10-1?

<a href="http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/donotcall/index.html" target="_blank">http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/donotcall/index.html</a>

<a href="http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/alerts/dncregalrt.htm" target="_blank">Have you received a call from a company inviting you to preregister for the national "Do Not Call" list? What about a call asking to confirm your registration on a "Do Not Call" registry? If so, you may be the target of a scam, according to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), the federal agency that is creating the national "Do Not Call" registry.
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I hate this shit. Advertising is bad enough without them invading your home, taking up your time, unannounced.

I realise that the poor schmoe on the other end of the line is living a weird life somewhere between Chicken Run and Glengarry Glen Ross, but I no longer humour them.

It's the tricks they use to get you into a conversation that piss me off the most. They know people hang up if it sounds like a telesales call, so they obviously have scripts that make it sound like something to do with your bank account, or a bill.

But they hate it when you ask questions. It's like they've been brainwashed - "Don't let them know it's a sales call until the last possible second".

"Is this a sales call?"

"It's regarding your financial situation..."

"Is it a sales call?"

"Would you say your monthly bills are..."

"IS THIS A SALES CALL?"

"How much would you like to save on..."

It's become a battle of wits. They really do get pissy if you don't play ball, largely because if they don't sign up 50 people a day for this new credit card they only get paid £1.50 an hour or something horrible like that. I used to know someone who did this kind of thing a few years back, selling conservatories I think. Basically, the person who phones you just wants you to say "yes". That's all they get paid for - generating "hot leads", people who've agreed to be pestered by a professional. Your details then get passed to a real salesperson who turns on the real pitch.

It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Until you say "yes", they have no power over you.

So now I just say "Not interested" and hang up. I certainly don't consider that any ruder than them calling me out of the blue to sell me shit I don't want.

And that reminds me...does anyone know anybody who actually buys anything this way? I can't believe it's worth the man-hours and call costs it takes to plough through 500 numbers to get one "maybe".

I remember I use to monitor calls for Ch*rry Communication waaaaay back...

These guys had cue cards telling them how to answer when a customer answers the way he does. What really pissed me was that legally they subscribe you/sell you the product if there is a "yes" or "ok" "alright in your phrase.

So to make a long story short, these elderly people in Florida (which is prime market for this stuff) had their long distance/local service switched without their full consent.

I usually head for the bathroom with my phone and start taking a dump... let them hear it.

I'm not aware of anyone I know who has agreed to "buy" things via telemarketing, but we do get a certain number of membership renewals through our telemarketing efforts.

It's a percentages game. Call enough and hoppe to get a few that pay for calling the whole list. If you're successful you'll make a profit. If you're really sucessful you'll make a bundle.

Then you buy another list. And so it goes.

I need to get one of those fog horn thingies and ask the person on the line questions but have my voice slowly get lower and lower... so their ear is right next to the phone and then give em a ol shot of the horn.

Have you ever tried to sell stuff to the telemarketers? It can be pretty fun.

We've had the No Call Act in effect for at least a year now, and I have to say it works great. I've had maybe three calls, all from my own credit card companies or from charities, since I registered my number. I always hated when I would answer a telemarketing call only to get silence because the computer answering system they used was just trying to judge when I was home. I consider that kind of thing invasion of privacy and borderline criminal behavior. Burglars do the same thing just before they rob you.

Dunno if you guys have ever listened to it, but <a href="http://www.jimflorentine.com" target="_blank">Jim Florentine's</a> Terrorizing Telemarketers CDs are some of the most hilarious you'll ever hear. There's a couple samples on his site- check out "Horny Priests", "Brothers", and "No Son". Classics. I've been tempted many times to do some of his bits when I get called...

I hate telemarketers myself, and will usually just just hang up at the sound of one. The only good thing about them is how many laughs i've had at people trying to pronounce my last name.

I've heard Florentine do his stuff. He's featured on Live365.com on Extreme Prank Radio all the time. He's great.

I get calls from Spanish telemarketers all the time.
I answer the phone and they start to rattle off in Spanish.

I tell them, "I don't speak Spanish." inSpanish.

...that seems to throw them.

That's exactly how I deal with them. I think it's ironic that you can waste their time instead of yours. I do usually say no at least once before I leave the phone.

<a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/front/breaking_news/story/95801p-86795c.html" target="_blank">Starting tomorrow, you can hang up on telemarketers </a>