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Quotes of Overheard Stupidity

post #1 of 9
6/29/03 at 2:46am
Thread Starter 
Walking through manhattan lets you in on all sort of stupid people's conversations- I always come home with a couple funny ones. Today was no exception- here's some classic quotes I was witness to.

"Aw crap! I mean, if God wanted us to walk up stairs he wouldn't have invented escalators!" - Some bimbo shocked and appalled at having to walk up a broken escalator.

"Excuse me- you know where Broadway is?" - Some drunk guy walking down broadway
"Uh...you're on it, dude." - Me
"Oh ok. But wait, where is it?"

"Go back to the ghetto!"
- Some GENIOUS white kid who decides to scream that out at some black kid who wanted to fight him...on a subway at 3rd ave/149st in the bronx - (ie, a ghetto). Cold, hard stares from everyone on the train...and of course i'm the only other white kid, looking like a skinhead.

"That show is on all the time! It's on like 24/7 a day!" - another guy (possibly drunk) on the subway talking about some tv show to a friend.

I'll add more to this as I hear them- some of you gotta have some great ones too.

(edited cause subject made even less sense)

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post #2 of 9
6/29/03 at 4:02am
Not really overheard anything stupid lately, but I have been encountering too much stupidity recently for my liking.

I work with quite possibly the dumbest woman alive.

She's nice, funny, sweet and looks great in a swimsuit but has no grey matter to speak of.

Dumb as a box of rocks!

A few months back me and some co-workers had her convinced that General Solo and General Calirissian worked with Commander Lincoln to stop the Japanese from invading during the civil war at the battle of Endor.

To her credit, she didn't totally buy it and only accepted it for a few days, but still...

She also had no idea when the Civil War was fought or who the main players were.

She had no idea what DNA stood for or what is was.

No clue as to what FBI/CIA stood for.

Another time we had her convinced that a Neurologist was the asshole doctor and a Proctologist was the brain doctor.


There are more, but now I sleep.

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post #3 of 9
6/29/03 at 4:22am
I don't know if this is stupid or just happily surreal. Depends on the witness, I suppose. Walking down a street in downtown Edmonton, I hear this line exchanged by two women passing me:
Quote:
Oh, you know her. She goes through men like wet flies.
This was more than ten years ago. To this day I still don't know what it means. Can someone help me out here?
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post #4 of 9
6/29/03 at 4:29pm
About a year ago, a friend of mine once asked me: "So,what year did slavery end? Wasn't it like 1955 or something?"

You should have seen the stunned look on her face when I told her the correct date.
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post #5 of 9
6/29/03 at 5:09pm
"Biker Boyz was an awesome movie." - coworker.
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post #6 of 9
6/29/03 at 5:27pm
"I'm so pissed I went to see the Hulk. It was worse than Godzilla. I should have just seen 2 Fast 2 Furious for the third time."

At the video store:

Employee: I don't think you'd like Audition. Nothing happens, and it is really really weird.

Customer: Really? Thanks for letting me know. Is anything good out?

Employee: Darkness Falls was really cool.

Customer: Is that a horror movie?

Employee: Yeah, but it is really cool and original.

Customer: I will get that.

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post #7 of 9
6/30/03 at 6:44am
"My opinion as a homemaker...."

I don't remember what she said after that but it was probably because I was smacking my head against the wall.

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post #8 of 9
6/30/03 at 9:30am
Quote:
Bateman is Scared:
At the video store:

Employee: I don't think you'd like Audition. Nothing happens, and it is really really weird.

Customer: Really? Thanks for letting me know. Is anything good out?

Employee: Darkness Falls was really cool.

Customer: Is that a horror movie?

Employee: Yeah, but it is really cool and original.

Customer: I will get that.
That employee deserves a raise!
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post #9 of 9
7/1/03 at 11:31am
Quote:
General Zod
[QB] She's nice, funny, sweet and looks great in a swimsuit but has no grey matter to speak of.

Dumb as a box of rocks!

Another time we had her convinced that a Neurologist was the asshole doctor and a Proctologist was the brain doctor.
QB]
Cheers to you and your co-workers! I just hope she isn't your boss.
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