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Casino stuff...

post #1 of 24
10/10/03 at 12:08pm
Thread Starter 
So I'm doing my birthday at the casinos tonight, and this time I'd like to avoid losing every cent I take into the place. Give me advice, and keep in mind that I'm too stupid to play craps or any of the really complicated games. A few questions:

1. Where do you think the best slot machines are located? Front of the casino? End of the aisles? Near the bar?

2. On slot machines and video poker, do you bet the max bid every time? Why or why not?

3. Black Jack--Where's the point where you "stay"? 14? 15? 16? 17?

4. Anybody ever tried the roulette strategy where you bet on even/odd or red/black, then double your bid if you lose and keep going from there? Supposedly, it's a 99.9% surefire method for always coming out ahead. Will I piss the roulette dealer off if I try this?

5. Favorite game? Safest best? Coolest risk?

Share your gambling addiction here...
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post #2 of 24
10/10/03 at 12:35pm
Thread Starter 
What the fuck?

I'm 99% sure I posted this in Culture and Free Form. Did someone move this thread to shameless? And if so, why? I don't *own* the casinos.

Confused.
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post #3 of 24
10/10/03 at 12:37pm
Quote:
Slater 'Slater' Slater:


I'm 99% sure I posted this in Culture and Free Form.
I'll take that bet. Put me down for five.
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post #4 of 24
10/10/03 at 12:41pm
Thread Starter 
You want insurance?
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post #5 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:00pm
1. Where do you think the best slot machines are located? Front of the casino? End of the aisles? Near the bar?

Anything that isn't progressive. Those have the worst odds. They do have the biggest payoff, though.

2. On slot machines and video poker, do you bet the max bid every time? Why or why not?

Yes, because if you hit a jackpot without putting the max bet in, you'll feel like you buttfucked your grandma.

3. Black Jack--Where's the point where you "stay"? 14? 15? 16? 17?

Depends where the dealer is sitting. Hold at 14 or 15 if the dealer is showing less than 7.

4. Anybody ever tried the roulette strategy where you bet on even/odd or red/black, then double your bid if you lose and keep going from there? Supposedly, it's a 99.9% surefire method for always coming out ahead. Will I piss the roulette dealer off if I try this?

Yeah, but you may need a ton of money to double up if you get down too far.

5. Favorite game?

Black Jack

Safest best?

Double Down on 11

Coolest risk?

Hookers in Vegas.
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post #6 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:08pm
Don't play slots. However, if you must play, be determined. Don't play a machine for a couple minutes & leave because you're not winning. You have to spend time on them to get any money out of them.

You need to learn craps. It's not as hard as all the commotion makes it seem. It's easily the most exciting game out there. You don't have to worry about the middle of the table bets, they're for suckers anyways.
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post #7 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:13pm
Never bet on the Hard Eight.
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post #8 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:18pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Guttenberg Fan Club:
Don't play slots. However, if you must play, be determined. Don't play a machine for a couple minutes & leave because you're not winning. You have to spend time on them to get any money out of them.

You need to learn craps. It's not as hard as all the commotion makes it seem. It's easily the most exciting game out there. You don't have to worry about the middle of the table bets, they're for suckers anyways.
I'll be forced to play slots for at least a little while, since it's the girlfriend's favorite game. But see, I've always heard that since the random number generator is constantly running inside each machine, playing a single machine for five minutes or five hours doesn't increase your odds of hitting it big. Some of my friends use the "hopping" method, where they play two rounds on a machine, then move. Two rounds, move. All damn night. And they always seem to wind up with more money than me by the end of the night.

Craps seems too noisy and complicated. This is my birthday party, and I plan on getting really, really drunk. Seems like it'll be easier getting drunk in front of video poker or at a Blackjack table than it would be standing at the craps table for the first time.
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post #9 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:24pm
Thread Starter 
Just found a cool little info page on slot machine myths and urban legends, if anybody is interested. It's an Acrobat pdf linked from this page:

<a href="http://slotsmyths.joesjackpots.com/" target="_blank">http://slotsmyths.joesjackpots.com/</a>
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post #10 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:26pm
The safest table game is Pai Gow Poker. It's totally laid back and, since you play two hands against the dealer's two hands, you end up pushing a lot. Three card poker is also a lot of fun to play. I tend to avoid Blackjack because, even if I follow the standard dealer's showing this so I should do this guidelines, I tend to lose all my betting money in under 5 minutes. I like a game that you can keep playing without emptying your pockets in less than a half hour. That's why Pai Gow Poker is a game I can get into. Slot machines always take my money right away, so I avoid them.

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post #11 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:29pm
Thread Starter 
I saw Pai Gow Poker on a Travel Channel special...looked like fun. I've got no idea if any of my shitty Kansas casinos will have it, but if they do, I'll give it a shot. Thanks.
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post #12 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:40pm
Supposedly the slots near entrances and elevators are programmed to "hit" more often, because it entices incoming patrons to play. Not sure how true that is.

I tend to stick with Caribbean Stud poker, baccarat, roullette and craps, meself. As stated above, craps is easily the most exciting casino game.
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post #13 of 24
10/10/03 at 1:54pm
Quote:
Slater 'Slater' Slater:
This is my birthday party, and I plan on getting really, really drunk. Seems like it'll be easier getting drunk in front of video poker or at a Blackjack table than it would be standing at the craps table for the first time.
Hmmmm gettign really, really drunk while gambling. Why don't you just go in adn hand them your credit card?

Above that I have nothing to offer since I've never been in a casino (probably shouldn't as I run a little obsessive/compulsive adn wouldn't know when to quit), but I hope you have a blast adn come out on top!
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post #14 of 24
10/10/03 at 2:14pm
I actually had better luck at the Texas Hold'em tables when I was drunk, but lost all my luck when I decided I should sober up to play better.
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post #15 of 24
10/10/03 at 2:20pm
Oh and if you plan on drinking a lot, get you and about 2-4 other friends to play Kino for two hours. When the drinks lady comes by, everyone orders drinks. When you get your drinks order the next round and leave a nice tip but nothing too nice($5+ is pretty good, but more can't hurt). Just keep repeating this until you have had your fill and move on to actual gambling. Anyway, this should get you drinks fast, Kino is easy to play drunk, and the game and drinks for everyone should come at a low cost. My friends and I do this all the time when we go gambling.
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post #16 of 24
10/10/03 at 3:23pm
Thread Starter 
Nah, I can play Kino in the bars or bowling alleys here. Not really a game to play in the casinos.
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post #17 of 24
10/10/03 at 3:36pm
Quote:
Slater 'Slater' Slater:
Nah, I can play Kino in the bars or bowling alleys here. Not really a game to play in the casinos.
See, I don't have that privelage. Plus, I don't really play, I just sit there and get free drinks for a couple hours, then I go out and do my real gambling.

Anyway, have a good time and good luck. Your first drink is on me.
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post #18 of 24
10/10/03 at 3:42pm
Thread Starter 
That's what really sucks about casinos in Kansas and Mizzou...no free drinks. I couldn't understand it the first few times...I'd leave the waitress two dollars, three dollars, five dollars, whatever, and every time she would charge me full price for my next beer. Took me forever to figure out that these casinos are too miserly to hook you up with free hootch, no matter how much you tip. Assholes.
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post #19 of 24
10/10/03 at 5:05pm
Thread Starter 
Leaving in an hour...any final words of advice?
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post #20 of 24
10/10/03 at 5:09pm
Bring money. Come back with as much as possible.
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post #21 of 24
10/10/03 at 5:16pm
This must be done....

Do you ever play roulette?
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post #22 of 24
10/11/03 at 6:42am
Kansas casinos don't give free drinks because they are in counties with strict drinking laws. I'm sure they would open up the alcohol flood gates if they could. Getting people drunk tends to loosen their wallets. The casinos north of here lack the basic sense of give and take that Vegas casinos have. At least in Vegas they openly temp you to be stupid, get drunk, act rich even if you're not, and you pay if you fall for it. Casinos in Kansas are not friendly or inviting. They are just money pits. I haven't been to them in almost two years.
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post #23 of 24
10/11/03 at 4:57pm
Thread Starter 
In related news, getting so piss-shitty drunk that you can't even stand isn't a good way to win money.

Fun time, though. Yay for losing all my birfday money.
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post #24 of 24
10/11/03 at 6:15pm
Casinos should have breathalizers at the door. I lost about 200 bucks one night because I was so wasted I had no idea what was going on.
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