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Best action hero names

post #1 of 32
6/30/03 at 8:38pm
Thread Starter 
1. "Chuck Slaughter" (Norris; Slaughter in San Francisco).

2. "Gay Karate Man" (Van Damme; Monaco Forever)

3. "Gordy Brewer" (Arnold; Collatoral Damage) aka "Gowadee Brewa"

4. "Lieutenant Marion Cobretti" (Sly; Cobra). because when you shorten Cobretti it becomes... COBRA! HSSSS!

5. "Capt. Ivan Danko, Russian State Police" (Arnold; Red Heat).

6. "Lars, Gym Instructor" (Arnold; Scavenger Hunt). conjures up rich and vibrant images of Arnold as Lars, Gym Instructor.

7. "Gibson Rickenbacker" (Van Damme; Cyborg)

8. "Jacques Kristoff" (Van Damme; Derailed). I like this name because it makes Van Damme sound like an old Universal pictures horror star and/or European aristocracy.

9. "Detective Gino Felino, NYPD" (Seagal; Out for Justice).

10. "Lincoln Hawk" (Sly; Over the Top)
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post #2 of 32
6/30/03 at 8:54pm
Big McLarge Huge!
Flank McBrickgroin!
Bob Johnson!

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post #3 of 32
6/30/03 at 8:56pm
Gibson Rickenbacker was the first one that came to my mind. Note that all the characters in this movie are named after brand of instruments or musical appliances. The bad guy's name is Fender Tremolo fer chrissakes!

And Tequila Yuen's got my vote.
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post #4 of 32
6/30/03 at 8:57pm
Mickey and Dumbo wink
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post #5 of 32
6/30/03 at 9:00pm
<strong>Woody Invincible</strong> - Jordan Chan in Biozombie

Accept no substitutes.
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post #6 of 32
6/30/03 at 9:19pm
Snake gets my vote too. But gotta show love for Blunts vote - Tequila Yuen is pretty damn cool. Then again Chow Yun Fat could be called Tommy Turd and still be cool.
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post #7 of 32
6/30/03 at 9:31pm
Chest Rockwell
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post #8 of 32
6/30/03 at 9:49pm
Nothing beats Mason Storm ("Hard to Kill").

He's part brick, part hurricane, and all Seagal.
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post #9 of 32
6/30/03 at 10:33pm
Thread Starter 
Too obscure, never heard of him.
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post #10 of 32
6/30/03 at 10:58pm
It's not exactly obscure but Martin Riggs has always been a favorite name of mine. I also like Lundgren's name of Jack Kane in "I Come in Peace."
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post #11 of 32
7/1/03 at 12:00am
10. John McClane
9. Yojimbo
8. Morpheous
7. Trinity
6. Neo
5. Spider-Man
4. Chewbacca the Wookie
3. Han Solo
2. Luke Skywalker
1. Snake Plissken

"Welcome to the human race". - Snake

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post #12 of 32
7/1/03 at 2:57am
Indiana Jones
007
Mad Max Rockatansky
Roy Batty (some of us think that he's a hero)
Maximus Decimus Meridius
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post #13 of 32
7/1/03 at 7:01pm
I'm gonna second, third, or whatever Indiana Jones. Its become to commonplace that its easy to overlook what just a sweet name that is. Cool, heroic, but somehow not at all laughable.
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post #14 of 32
7/1/03 at 7:23pm
Quote:
JenGe Chick Flick Destroyer:
Roy Batty (some of us think that he's a hero)
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post #15 of 32
7/1/03 at 7:28pm
Eric Draven

Ashly J Williams
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post #16 of 32
7/1/03 at 7:34pm
"Jack Burton - ME."
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post #17 of 32
7/1/03 at 7:36pm
Then, of course - JOHN NADA.

John=Everyman
Nada=Nothing

The guy's name is a sociopolitical statement that tells you what the movie's about instantly. This lovely John Carpenter, I tell ya...
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post #18 of 32
7/1/03 at 7:41pm
Rooster Cogburn - True Grit.
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post #19 of 32
7/1/03 at 8:09pm
Buckaroo Banzai - Peter Weller/The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
John Bigboote - Christopher Lloyd/Buckaroo Banzai
New Jersey - Jeff Goldblum/Buckaroo Banzai
Rawhide - Clancy Brown/Buckaroo Banzai
Casey Ryback - Steven Seagal/Under Siege
Robert Rath - Stallone/Assassins
Joe Bomowski - Stallone/Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
Obike Fixx - Wesley Snipes/Futuresport
Chance Buckman - John Wayne/Hellfighters
Michael Patrick "Guns" Donovan - John Wayne/Donovan's Reef
Sergeant John Stryker - John Wayne/Sands of Iwo Jima
Wedge Donovan - John Wayne/The Fighting Seabees
Danny Ocean - Frank Sinatra/George Clooney/Ocean's 11
Liberty Valance (not really a hero) - Lee Marvin/The Man Who Shot Libery Valance
Peachy Carnehan - Michael Caine/The Man Who Would Be King
Jack Carter - Michael Caine/Get Carter
Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez - Sean Connery/Highlander
Jake Raye - Don 'The Dragon' Wilson/Bloodfist
R.J. MacReady - Kurt Russell/The Thing
Raven Shaddock (not a good guy) - Willem Dafoe/Streets of Fire
Iceman Chambers (not a good guy) - Ving Rhames/Undisputed

And, of course, Kurt Russell in "Tequila Sunrise" as Lt. Nick Frescia. Like Stallone in "Cobra," you take Russell's character's last name, drop an "i" and you get "Fresca."

From comic book land: Spider Jerusalem/Transmetropolitan

From books: Dirk Gently/Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
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post #20 of 32
7/1/03 at 9:00pm
Damn,I can't believe I forgot these!!!

Strider & Aragorn
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post #21 of 32
7/1/03 at 9:49pm
Damn, I can't believe I forget this:

Tuck Kirby - James Franciscus/The Valley of Gwangi
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post #22 of 32
7/2/03 at 1:05am
Bruce Lee's Mr. Lee from Enter The Dragon. So fucking badass you call him "Mr."
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post #23 of 32
7/12/03 at 6:57am
Castor Troy (as in Nic Cage's time as him)
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post #24 of 32
7/14/03 at 1:09pm
Jeffrey Lebowski
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post #25 of 32
7/14/03 at 1:10pm
Napoleon Wilson - Assault on Precinct 13
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post #26 of 32
7/14/03 at 1:23pm
Action Jackson
Shaft
Dirty Harry Callahan
Popeye Doyle
Snake Plisken
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post #27 of 32
7/14/03 at 1:25pm
Mass props for mentioning Napolean dude.
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post #28 of 32
7/14/03 at 3:23pm
Quote:
Daywalker needs a shrubbery:
Mass props for mentioning Napolean dude.
*bows*
I do what I can.

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post #29 of 32
7/14/03 at 3:32pm
Thread Starter 
I named this thread wrong. I was actually looking for funniest/most amusing action hero names, not best action hero names. Too late now.
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post #30 of 32
7/14/03 at 4:09pm
Quote:
Shigemichi Toscani:
I named this thread wrong. I was actually looking for funniest/most amusing action hero names, not best action hero names. Too late now.
Action Jackson
Shaft
Dirty Harry Callahan
Popeye Doyle
Snake Plisken
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post #31 of 32
7/14/03 at 4:36pm
Ripley...

[edited for conformity]

barbarella, flesh gordon, bat manuel, blankman, rambo...

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post #32 of 32
7/15/03 at 10:55am
...continuing my Napoleon kick...

Napoleon Solo
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