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Least menacing villains.

post #1 of 40
7/14/03 at 1:43pm
Thread Starter 
I probably know a bunch of em, but only one pops into mind since I watched it last night.
Michael Ironside's sidekick from Total Recall. You know, the guy who wears glasses and looks like Ed Begley Jr. with a crewcut? "I wouldn't want a guy like Quaid porkin' my old lady!" OOOOOH tough talk. But all for naught, he gets shanked to death by a fuckin midget prostitute later on. Pussy.
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post #2 of 40
7/14/03 at 2:04pm
The Nihilists.

I don't really have to mention the movie, do I?
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post #3 of 40
7/14/03 at 2:05pm
Guinea pigs from Wing Commander anyone?
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post #4 of 40
7/14/03 at 2:06pm
Quote:
Mikezilla:
You know, I've always thought that "The Carpenter", from Gone In 60 Seconds, just was not an intimidating villain. Don't get me wrong, I love Christopher Eccleston, but maybe this was the wrong role for him. No menace at all, but he seemed to take the part seriously. Really, he's a carpenter! Sad, just sad.
Any man who has a fetish for wood should be feared. Feared, I say!
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post #5 of 40
7/14/03 at 2:10pm
The Battle Droids from the Star Wars prequels. Those things look like they could be soundly trounced by a small breeze.
Chucky from Child's Play. I never got this. HE'S A FUCKING DOLL! KICK HIM ACROSS THE ROOM!
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post #6 of 40
7/14/03 at 2:32pm
The main villain in Commando, I can't remember his name. It looks so pathetic when he's fighting Arnie at the end because he's slightly over weight and has flabby arms.
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post #7 of 40
7/14/03 at 2:50pm
Quote:
BobClark:
Chucky from Child's Play. I never got this. HE'S A FUCKING DOLL! KICK HIM ACROSS THE ROOM!
Thats what I was going to list. Pick him up and rip the doll's head off.
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post #8 of 40
7/14/03 at 8:53pm
Shinzon from ST:Nemesis was one of the lamest Star Trek villians in awhile. (since Insurrection) He was supposed to be a foil for Picard, but was not, IMHO, the least bit threatening. (or interesting)

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post #9 of 40
7/14/03 at 9:12pm
Quote:
Movie Geek:
The main villain in Commando, I can't remember his name. It looks so pathetic when he's fighting Arnie at the end because he's slightly over weight and has flabby arms.
Let off some steam, Bennett!
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post #10 of 40
7/14/03 at 9:48pm
Quote:
Jedi Hitchhiker:
Shinzon from ST:Nemesis was one of the lamest Star Trek villians in awhile. (since Insurrection) He was supposed to be a foil for Picard, but was not, IMHO, the least bit threatening. (or interesting)
Maybe it was the purple leather dominatrix ensemble.
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post #11 of 40
7/15/03 at 2:31am
George Coraface in "Escape from L.A." was as lame a villain as you'll ever find. The euro-trash guy from "XXX" was also pretty sad.
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post #12 of 40
7/15/03 at 3:15am
Quote:
Movie Geek:
The main villain in Commando, I can't remember his name. It looks so pathetic when he's fighting Arnie at the end because he's slightly over weight and has flabby arms.
Oh, hell yeah. How can you be scared of a bad guy who looks like Freddy Mercury?

Gotta go with Chucky, too. A little "My Buddy" lookin' doll, even imbued with the spirit of a homicidal Billy Bibbitt, is still a little doll.

Tina Turner in Thunderdome. Ike, maybe. Tina, not so much.
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post #13 of 40
7/15/03 at 6:51am
Jack Nicholson's Joker.

The Twins in Reloaded.

The Neimoudians in the PT.

Bruce mk4 in Jaws: The Revenge.
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post #14 of 40
7/15/03 at 7:36am
As much as I love the movie, Zorg from the Fifth Element seemed a little less-than-menacing.

Damodar from D&D. The blue lipstick just made him look weak.
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post #15 of 40
7/17/03 at 3:48pm
Quote:
Movie Geek:
The main villain in Commando, I can't remember his name. It looks so pathetic when he's fighting Arnie at the end because he's slightly over weight and has flabby arms.
I believe his name was Bennet. He is also one of the three bikers who appear at the end of Weird Science. I always preferred Bill Dukes villain in Commando to that of Freddie Mercurys.
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post #16 of 40
7/17/03 at 4:05pm
Some good ones already but I always thought that Harrison Ford in 'What Lies Beneath' was pretty poor, not as poor as those droids in TPM though. Tip my hat to that choice, they were like skittles when in the battle.
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post #17 of 40
7/17/03 at 4:44pm
Jay Moore from Cherry Falls.
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post #18 of 40
7/28/03 at 4:14pm
*bursts out laughing* When was the Marshmallow Man a villain?? That is a great mental picture.

My vote definitely goes for the villain in LXG. I liked the ensemble cast of the main characters, but I thought M (or whoever he was) was a tremendous waste of time and space. There was no characterization there whatsoever. (course, that was true with ALL of the characters, but he was worse than normal. his character was simply pointless.)
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post #19 of 40
7/28/03 at 4:18pm
I agree. M/The Phantom/Moriarty blew goat ass.
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post #20 of 40
7/28/03 at 5:35pm
- Star Trek´s Ahdar Ru'afo from Insurrection, only surpassed by Nemesis´ dying Picard clone Shinzon, who himself is only surpassed by God from The Final Frontier

- Bullseye and Kingpin from DareDevil, because a super-hero villain should never be weaker than the super-hero...
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post #21 of 40
7/28/03 at 5:44pm
awful Schwarzenegger villains :

- Salim Abu Aziz, True Lies
- Robert Deguerin, Eraser
- El Lobo, Collateral Damage
- George aint-no-batman Clooney, Batman & Robin
- Dynamo, Killian and Fireball, Running Man
- Thulsa Doom, Conan
- Benedict, Last Action Hero
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post #22 of 40
7/28/03 at 10:07pm
Quote:
Fett:

The Twins in Reloaded.
Straight razors sorta freak me out. I can deal with someone getting a shotgun to the head in a movie but when someone slashes with something like that it sorta oogiees me out a bit. Same with needles.
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post #23 of 40
7/28/03 at 10:08pm
Quote:
The Myers Revolutions:
awful Schwarzenegger villains :

- Salim Abu Aziz, True Lies
- Robert Deguerin, Eraser
- El Lobo, Collateral Damage
- George aint-no-batman Clooney, Batman & Robin
- Dynamo, Killian and Fireball, Running Man
- Thulsa Doom, Conan
- Benedict, Last Action Hero
Shame on you , Thulsa Doom kicks all kind of bad guy ass.

Stephen Dorf made a really lame wimpy looking villian in Blade.

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post #24 of 40
7/28/03 at 10:22pm
Quote:
DVtS:
The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Everyone loves the guy, there's no menace there.
But...he steps on a church! And he's a 100-foot virgin marshmellow man! And...yeah!

But seriously, he wasnt' suppossed to be menacing. Gozer was the menace, Sta-Puft was played for laughs. It was a comedy.
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post #25 of 40
7/29/03 at 8:56am
Craig Bierko in The Long Kiss Goodnight.

Bierko, I say.
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post #26 of 40
7/29/03 at 10:08am
Gustav Graves from Die Another Day.
Oooh a pissed off city trader, i'm quaking in my snake skin boots.
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post #27 of 40
7/29/03 at 11:06am
Quote:
WickerMan:
Gustav Graves from Die Another Day.
Oooh a pissed off city trader, i'm quaking in my snake skin boots.
I love the throwaway line where he basically goes "I must use this machine or otherwise I will go insane do to the fact that I do not sleep"
and how it just completly has no releation to the plot
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post #28 of 40
7/30/03 at 12:44am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
The Myers Revolutions:
Salim Abu Aziz, True Lies
You're kidding right? This guy is not only menacing, but he should be in Motocross. Look at his control over motorcycles. He has mastered the "launch off a hotel, and fly 600 feet through the air into the pool of another building" manuever, crucial to any motorbike racing rubric.
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post #29 of 40
8/1/03 at 4:47pm
Jaye Davison from STARGATE
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post #30 of 40
8/2/03 at 6:12pm
Generic Eurotrash Iain Glen in "Tomb Raider" sucked major ass. But for that movie, he was at least par for the course.

Jodi Molla in "Bad Boys II" was pretty pathetic too I thought. Its a pretty delicate and rare balance to have a threatenign villain who's also genuinely funny. This guy attempted both and achieved neither.
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post #31 of 40
8/2/03 at 6:42pm
Thulsa Doom? Thulsa Doom rocks.

Sucky bad guys: Those weird-talking mofos from TPM and AOTC who are always standing around. Two films and I still have no clue who the fuck they are or what they have to do with the films.
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post #32 of 40
8/6/03 at 9:48pm
Hmmm....

Swann from POTP-Paul Williams always thought of him as menacing. I think he's menacing....like a Keebler Elf. Of course, what creeps me out is the fact he was based on Phil Spector....

BUT, I disagree with Thinking Hurts. Roxburgh kicks ass, and I can't wait to see him as Dracula. In fact, when I was watching LXG, I was wondering which accent he would use for "Van Helsing".....I can hardly contain my Excel Excel-like excitement.....
<img src="http://www.themoviebox.net/gallery/2003/july/LXG/LXG_lg/lxg_0012.jpg" alt="" /> <img src="http://www.themoviebox.net/gallery/2003/july/LXG/LXG_lg/lxg_0027.jpg" alt="" />
BTW-I like the Alan Moore chariacture Fantom better than Gatchaman Phantom, for the record.

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post #33 of 40
8/7/03 at 1:26am
Robert Carlyle as Renard in The World Is Not Enough was pretty lame. Then again, so was Jonathan Pryce in Tomorrow Never Dies...
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post #34 of 40
8/7/03 at 1:48am
the Killer clowns
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post #35 of 40
8/10/03 at 1:16pm
let's go guys,some of those villains(most of them) are not that bad.we need the lamest.

My choice top of my head : The head vampire in The Lost boys,he is supose to be more menacing than is "boys".
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post #36 of 40
8/10/03 at 4:18pm
A lot of my picks have already been mentioned, in films such as Under Siege 2 and Die Another Day.

I'll add:

Rent-A-Cockney in The Scorpion King

John Travolta in Swordfish

William Sadler in Die Hard 2

Jeremy Irons' purple vest in Die Hard 3

Angus Mc Fadyen in Equilibrium

Jason Statham in The One

Guy with huge head in Scream 2

Guy with glasses in Scream 3

CGI in The Haunting
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post #37 of 40
8/14/03 at 12:44pm
Yes, I missed it on PBS, and I do find it ironic that he played both the hero and the villan in that series of stories....
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post #38 of 40
8/14/03 at 12:49pm
Yes, and Ian Hart played a literary bad guy as well-Prof. Quirrell/Voldemort in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone".
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post #39 of 40
8/16/03 at 10:04pm
Andy Garcia in Ocean's 11.
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post #40 of 40
8/17/03 at 4:28am
I know this is cheating but Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies. It's intentional. I'll add a vote for GG from Die Another Day. I think his face is now in Brit dictionaries beside the word 'wanker'.

And Jory, Gabriel Shear isn't really a villian. He's a patriot. He just has a 'tough love' approach and takes the 'greater good' concept to the extreme.
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