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Worst Five Films of All Time

post #1 of 95
Thread Starter 
5. Joe Somebody
4. Comic Book Villains
3. Batman and Robin
2. Secrets of Willoughby Castle
1. Moonlight Mile

Honourable Mentions:
Billy Jack
A Million to Juan

post #2 of 95
1. Irreversible

2. The Sixth Sense

3. George Romero's Season of the Witch

4. Friday the 13th

5. Silverado

Spoilt for choice though, really. The Matrix is bubbling under at about #6. John Woo's Once a Thief is in there as well.

And the ones I've listed are the more "famous" ones... there are plenty of obscure Euro and Asian oddities that nobody will have heard of.
post #3 of 95
1.DESTINY TURNS ON THE RADIO
2.3000 MILES TO GRACELAND
3.MAD DOG TIME (aka TRIGGER HAPPY)
4.FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN (aka ANDY WARHOL'S FRANKENSTEIN)
5.BOONDOCK SAINTS
post #4 of 95
Never Talk to Strangers
Judge Dredd
Final Fantasy
Batman and Robin
City of Angels
post #5 of 95
1. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
2. 3000 Miles to Graceland
3. Signs
4. Men in Black II
5. Drop Dead Fred
post #6 of 95
5. 3,000 Miles to Graceland
4. Random Hearts
3. The Time Machine
2. Drop Dead Fred
1. Very Bad Things
post #7 of 95
best or fav films are easier cuz picking between what shit smells worse is tough.

5. A Knight's Tale
4. Bed of Roses
3. Coyote Ugly
2. Driven
1. Collateral Damage

I'm sure there are worse out ther, I just went for the more mainstream ones.

post #8 of 95
How about some movies more than 6 years old?

My worst movies list is not really based on boredom but incredibly poor aesthetics and how much it disturbs or offends me.

#5 = Alien from L.A. Pure sonic torture. They not only had to make Kathy Ireland look unattractive, but she had an incredibly annoying high-pitched Chipmunk voice. Ugly looking movie too.

#4 = Laserblast Dreadfully boring, non-sensical. They kill off Roddy McDowall way too early. Just plain unpleasant. I felt like a Hooters waitress being groped. Should have expected this kind of idiocy at one point, but it's still just disturbing to experience.

#3 = 187 Another ugly, disturbing piece of crap.

#2 = Konga Offensive animal cruelty. I mean they actually showed the corpse of a cat the lead scientist had just shot. That's just even more fucking wrong. And then they bring in the chimp. Jesus...

#1 = Event Horizon Only movie I ever walked out of twice.

post #9 of 95
I'll go with bad movies as art, that are uniformly terrible, but I also love them for being so irredeemably bad:

5) the trailer for the film Radio (placeholding)
4) Batman and Robin
3) Deadly Weapons
2) Over the Top
1) The Postman
post #10 of 95
1.Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
2.Ticker
3.Virtuosity
4.The Musketeer
5.Captain America

Films With Higher Aims That I Hate

1.The Contender
2.Hamburger Hill
3.Romancing the Stone
4.Octopussy
5.Romper Stomper
post #11 of 95
1. Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
2. The Boondock Saints
3. Bowling for Columbine (Not for execution - but for Michael Moore's insidious lies through editing and lack of research.)
4. The Fast and the Furious
5. XXX
post #12 of 95
TPM worse than Fast and Furious and XXX???
post #13 of 95
Final Fantasy
Kids
Batman & Robin
Fast and the Furious
Father's Day
post #14 of 95
5)The Player. Remember the critics creaming themselves when this thing came out? Incredibly dull, insufferably pretentious.
4)A.P.E. That Korean giant gorilla thing with Kirk Cameron's mom from Growing Pains.
3)Stop or My Mom will Shoot! (shudder)
2)Weekend at Bernie's 2. You think it took balls to stretch a limited joke over ONE film? sheeit..
1)Super Fuzz.
post #15 of 95
Off the top of my head:

5. Lost Highway
4. Batman and Robin
3. Highlander: The Final Dimension
2. Eve of Destruction
1. Big Mama's House
post #16 of 95
Aight aight this should be easy

1. I spit on your grave....I wasn't down with the whole rape scene's

2. A.I...Sorry i fell asleep 7 times trying to watch this movie...Visuals dont keep me awake the story does

3. Halloween 3....Just plan stupid Were they actully trying???

4. Blair Witch....FUCKING STUPID AND WASTED MY TIME WATCHING THIS PIECE OF SHIT

5. Nightmare on elm street 2...IT WAS FUCKING RETARDED
post #17 of 95
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Poxy Von Sinister:
TPM worse than Fast and Furious and XXX???
They are awful, but at least they are entertaining. I wish I could say that much about TPM.
post #18 of 95
I'm not shocked to see people take shots at TPM, which I still can't understand being the worst film one has ever seen. I'm kinda shocked about the FINAL FANTASY and DIE ANOTHER DAY bashing, though. I can understand people not liking those movies, but I can't understand the utter contempt for them or how those people have never seen one worse film with all the wretched garbage out there. And LASERBLAST was not entertaining. MANOS, THE HANDS OF FATE is entertaining *and* has memorable characters *and* a nice, soothing soundtrack.

I'm also really surprised about how recent 90% of the movies on the lists are. Where's the 70's and 80's hate? How could you forgive the 80's for Alien from L.A.? Or the 70's for Parts: The Clonus Horror? *shudders*
post #19 of 95
In no order....

The Dunwich Horror

Freddy Got Fingered

Dude, Where's My Car?

Lone Wolf

Batman And Robin
post #20 of 95
Quote:
Pizza Kid:
3. Halloween 3....Just plan stupid Were they actully trying???
You just crossed the line.
post #21 of 95
No order because all 5 films suck hard.

Can't Stop The Music
Batman and Robin
I Spit On Your Grave
A View To a Kill
Basket Case
post #22 of 95
1) Street Fighter
2) Double Team
3) Fire Down Below
4) Giant Spider Invasion
5) Squirm
post #23 of 95
1. Driven (It´s soo bad you actually enjoy the movie)
2. Astronaut´s Wife
3. That movie with Woody Harrelson, Demi Moore and Robert Redford. Can´t remember the name of the movie.
post #24 of 95
Some people here are seriously confusing "bad" with "disappointing". Some of the films listed here as "worst of all time" are ridiculous when you consider the mountains of shitty movies that permeate the viedo store shelves. That's why these lists suck. Most people can't just be honest enough.

The inclusion of "West Side Story" and "The Phantom Menace" are the most ridiculous I've seen. One is a bona fide classic to many and one of the most influential screen musicals ever. The second should be off of thse lists on its technical merits alone.

And while I despise both "The Fast and the Furious" and "XXX" with a passion, I don't stik them on a worst list to make a point when direct-to-video actioners and lame comedies are all over the place.
post #25 of 95
Stew, I think though that budget becomes a factor in deciding what's truly the worst. Sure Manos: The Hands of Fate is a bad film, but it cost no money, was made by nobodies, and no one would have ever heard of it had it not been for MST3K. While going after famous bad films like Robot Monster or Plan 9 aren't fun because it's obvious of the limitations set on the filmmakers. (Then again Doris Wishman...)

But there is nothing worse than a film that is given repspect for being important or moving yet is actually awful or films that had all the money and time in the world yet still end up being total shit.
post #26 of 95
I'm with Stew on this. Some of these lists are absolutely ridiculous.

Honestly, have you ever seen a Rob Schneider movie?

How about ANY movie based on a character from, or starring a 90s SNL alumni?

Ever see Cabin Boy?

SnakeEater II: Drug Buster?

Three Ninjas Kick Back?

Faust: Love of the Damned? (even Combs couldn't save that shit)

Come on, folks. Don't be so closed minded. There's an endless array of turds out there.
post #27 of 95
Thread Starter 
Three Ninjas Kick Back has it's moments. The pie gag and the treadmill gag are worth the rental alone. I get a kick out of Schneider flicks, but they do not deserve much discussion. I only listed the five films I have intense hatred for.
post #28 of 95
Thread Starter 
Quote:
DVtS:
Worst movie has to be one that's technically bad AND unentertaining, so I disagree with the mention of Laserblast up above.

5. West Side Story
4. In the Mouth of Madness
3. Condorman
2. Twisted Justice
1. Die Another Day
This list is mindnumbing.
post #29 of 95
Really surprised that people consider the following films bad, let alone worst of all time!

Andy Warhol's Frankenstein ("To know life, you must f--- death in the gall bladder!" -- GENIUS!)
In the Mouth of Madness (one of the few truly scary movies in the last 10 years, imho)
Basket Case (my love for this movie makes it actually painful for me to read that anyone hated it)
Lost Highway (strange maybe, but bad???)
Irreversible (disturbing but GREAT!)

OK, that said, here are my picks for worst (I can't take on worst of all time, too much pressure):

1. Whispers in the Dark, starring Alan Alda as the bad guy (nuff said)
2. Con Air - not a movie, made my eyeballs bleed and my tongue simmer in venom
3. Armageddon - another non-movie (should have been a half-hour sitcom about filmmakers and "talent" conspiring to make the falsest movie of all time)
4. Pay It Forward - should have been a black comedy about how fake, hateful people get their come-uppance, but alas, the filmmakers still get consistent work
5. The Family Man - shit sandwich
post #30 of 95
Quote:
Andre Dellamorte:
Stew, I think though that budget becomes a factor in deciding what's truly the worst. Sure Manos: The Hands of Fate is a bad film, but it cost no money, was made by nobodies, and no one would have ever heard of it had it not been for MST3K. While going after famous bad films like Robot Monster or Plan 9 aren't fun because it's obvious of the limitations set on the filmmakers. (Then again Doris Wishman...)

But there is nothing worse than a film that is given repspect for being important or moving yet is actually awful or films that had all the money and time in the world yet still end up being total shit.
Budget should be considered when talking about if a film is bad or not. But this list is more than that. Its the "5 Worst Films of All Time" That's a pretty drastic list, and I usually avoid these because I think they're always badly done. It becomes a forum for people to rant about hyped flicks that disappointed them rather than the actual worst films.

I agree, budget should be considered, but I think the final product in a lot of ways should either stand or fall on its own. Plenty of low budgeted films, even action or FX films, can be considered good or even great based on their acting and plot/script. I think we should and do make allowances for films that really surpassed their budget in terms of quality. And I think we plenty of times judge more expensive films more harshly based on theirs as well.

One need only peruse the filmographies of Dolph Lundgren, Brian Bosworth, the younger Baldwin brothers, and Casper Van Dien to find way more than 5 films a lot worse than "West Side Story" and "The Phantom Menace".
post #31 of 95
Battlefield earth
Nurses on extassy(I love Troma)
exorcist 2
Blues brother 2000
The trial of the incredeble hulk(tv)
post #32 of 95
Quote:
Adam_72
5. Silverado
Silverado? Fucking Silverado! Please explain why this film is on your list.
post #33 of 95
Come on Stew, you can't lump Lundgren in with Bosworth, the younger Baldwin brothers, and Casper Van Dien. He's done his fair share of crap but I'd say he has more entertaining films under his belt than all of those other guys combined.

If possible please substitute Lundgren with Michael Dudikoff and all will be right with the world.
post #34 of 95
DvTS should be made to come back and explain his list. At least WSS.
post #35 of 95
Quote:
Scott Roche:
DvTS should be made to come back and explain his list. At least WSS.
I think DVTS should have his ass kicked for putting Condorman on his list.
post #36 of 95
So am I to understand that none of you have seen "The Rats are Coming, the Werewolves are Here"?

I assure you that it was, in fact, worse than "Moonlight Mile".
post #37 of 95
Godfather 3

Any movie that is made from a tv show(first adams family movie dosnt count)

The Skulls 2

Vampires 2
post #38 of 95
Quote:
Moltisanti:
Come on Stew, you can't lump Lundgren in with Bosworth, the younger Baldwin brothers, and Casper Van Dien. He's done his fair share of crap but I'd say he has more entertaining films under his belt than all of those other guys combined.

If possible please substitute Lundgren with Michael Dudikoff and all will be right with the world.
I'm mainly referring to his later years, but you're sort of right. I enjoyed "Blackjack" quite a bit, and in his earlier times he was cool. But his recent filmography is a laundry list of cheap actioners that are definitely in the same boat as the others I've mentioned. Its a shame because I think he's a lot more entertaining and even more talented than those fellas.

But yeah, Dudikoff is worse, so I'll gladly substitute him to right the world
post #39 of 95
Quote:
JamesLaw:
1. Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
2. The Boondock Saints
3. Bowling for Columbine (Not for execution - but for Michael Moore's insidious lies through editing and lack of research.)
4. The Fast and the Furious
5. XXX
Just because you didn't like it does not mean its bad. TPM has its fans.
post #40 of 95
5. Mother's Day
4. Doc Savage
3. Butterfield 8
2. Don't Mess with my Sister
1. Redneck Zombies

Honorable Mentions:

I Spit on Your Grave/Corpse
Cannibal Holocaust


Curious to know if anyone else has suffered through my numero uno choice?

post #41 of 95
Quote:
Sean Bateman, Causal Chewer:
Three Ninjas Kick Back has it's moments. The pie gag and the treadmill gag are worth the rental alone. I get a kick out of Schneider flicks, but they do not deserve much discussion. I only listed the five films I have intense hatred for.
Just because you hate doesn't make it a bad film. The thread title is WORST films, not most hated flicks. Big difference there.

And yes, ditto what Ego says.

post #42 of 95
Cabin Boy? BLASHPHER!

And ditto again to what Stew said.
post #43 of 95
Thread Starter 
It's not that we forgot about those films, the problem is no one has the same five. I enjoyed a dozen of the films that have been mentioned so far, and I am sure others do too. One man's piss is a nother man's lemonade.
post #44 of 95
Quote:
Quijibow:
Wow, most of you people have really short memories or are very young....

Ishtar
Exorcist 2
Freddy got fingered
The Cable Guy
Hercules goes bananas
Like Stephen Hawkings I liked the Cable Guy.
and your movies don't go before 1970-I'm sure there was alot of crap in the 40's 50's and 60's. And the stuff that played on MST3000 is some baaaad movies.
post #45 of 95
Quote:
Sean Bateman, Causal Chewer:
One man's piss is a nother man's lemonade.
If we're talking an opinion on "good" or "bad", then sure. But again, this is a thread called "Five Worst Films of All Time". Given that film has been around for nearly a hundred years, and we now have dozens upon dozens of releases each year, I'm of the opinion that any film listed in this thread should probably be something considered "piss" by any man's logic.
post #46 of 95
Again, HATE and WORST are not the same thing.

I hate "Chinatown" & "Taxi Driver" but I know they are fine films, I just don't like them and just because I don't like them doesn't make them bad on any level at all. They just don't meet my expectations or personal tastes.

Try this again, WORST.

More offerings:

Saturn 3
Popcorn
Food of the Gods
Planet of the Vampires
Jinxed

post #47 of 95
A subjective view of film can go only so far. If you said you hated "Citizen Kane" that's fine, if you said it was one of the five worst films ever then you would be an idiot.

Hated and worst are not the same, just as Zod said. There's plenty of "good" films I hate, maybe because I disagree with the message or something to that effect. I can think they are bad, but for the millionth time, this is a thread about the 5 worst of all time. With that narrow category there should be no film here that has any artistic merit at all.
post #48 of 95
Quote:
Stew:
A subjective view of film can go only so far. If you said you hated "Citizen Kane" that's fine, if you said it was one of the five worst films ever then you would be an idiot.
Really, you can say anything you want so long as you can back it up with cogent support. Looks like everyone's just making lists here, but if I were to walk in and proclaim Citizen Kane to be the worst movie ever made, I'd expect someone to call me on it, and ask for an explanation. And since I wouldn't hold such a seemingly untenable position without having articulated a perfectly logical reason for it long ago, defending my claim would be pretty simple.
post #49 of 95
While I still think that proclaiming "Citizen Kane" one of the five worst films EVER would be monumentally retarded, the problem is that I think those here who would make such a claim would have nowhere near such a cogent argument in support.

post #50 of 95
People just say really stupid shit sometimes. Anyone who thinks that West Side Story is worst than Attack of the the (sic) Eye Creatures is just being "shocking."
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