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Things you don't wanna hear in movie trailers

post #1 of 61
8/20/03 at 11:56pm
Thread Starter 
"Paramount Pictures in association with MTV Films..."
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post #2 of 61
8/20/03 at 11:58pm
Election
Better Luck Tomorrow
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post #3 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:00am
"A Brett Ratner film..."

And why the Zoolander knock? I thought it was pretty good.
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post #4 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:06am
I don't ever want to hear any of the opening lines featured in <a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/comedian.html" target="_blank">this trailer</a>, though it's making fun of those types of ads anyway.
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post #5 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:22am
"In a world..."
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post #6 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:40am
"One man..."
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post #7 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:42am
"Starring Ben Affleck..."
"DePalma finally has his thriller..."
"with Phillip Seymour Hoffman as..."
"__________ will never be the same..."
"She's a _____, and he's a _____, and together they're just __________..."
Star Wars music...
"with music by [self]acclaimed composer Jerry Goldsmith..."
"a comedy starring Jean Reno..."
"a Spike Lee joint..."
"Disney brings you..."
"Directed by Sophia Coppola..."
"They're back..."
"Let _________ take you on a journey..."
"Have you ever wondered...?"
"A Romantic comedy starring Meg Ryan..."
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post #8 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:44am
Creed.
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post #9 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:46am
Quote:
möovyphreak:
I don't ever want to hear any of the opening lines featured in <a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/comedian.html" target="_blank">this trailer</a>, though it's making fun of those types of ads anyway.
That trailer is bar none the funniest movie preview I have ever seen. Inventive and hilarious.
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post #10 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:49am
Quote:
Eli Cross:
"In a world..."
Actually, I kinda like "In a world..." lead-ins. Sometimes the rest of the sentence can take you off guard into a funny bit.
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post #11 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:55am
Quote:
_New__Order_:
"Starring Ben Affleck..."
"DePalma finally has his thriller..."
"with Phillip Seymour Hoffman as..."
"__________ will never be the same..."
"She's a _____, and he's a _____, and together they're just __________..."
Star Wars music...
"with music by [self]acclaimed composer Jerry Goldsmith..."
"a comedy starring Jean Reno..."
"a Spike Lee joint..."
"Disney brings you..."
"Directed by Sophia Coppola..."
"They're back..."
"Let _________ take you on a journey..."
"Have you ever wondered...?"
"A Romantic comedy starring Meg Ryan..."
When I scanned your list I thought the one was "a comedy starring Janet Reno" - almost lost bowel control.

"Eddie Murphy" - unless "stand up comedy" is also included.
"Britney Spears" - unless it's followed by "totally nude (or naked)".
"Speed 3"
"America's Sweetheart Julia Roberts"
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post #12 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:57am
One more:

"Sharon!"
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post #13 of 61
8/21/03 at 1:21am
Anything that is read by Mr. Voice.

Also:

"Two ________ fighting for what they believe in."

"Run for your life!"

"They're killing people!"

"You're all doomed! DOOMED!" (OK, so only the Friday the 13th trailers did this, but it's bad enough to make this list)

"A routine mission..."

"They're our only hope."

"A retired cop/military officer/CIA agent/Navy SEAL with a past...."

"He's a cop with an attitude"

Also also:

Any movie that includes a pop song that was the coolest thing ever to teenyboppers five months ago (What a Girl Wants, Drive Me Crazy, and any of those movies that use songs as movie titles).

"Jet Li....DMX/Choice rapper-actor of the month....in....(horribly crappy title here)"

"Jerry Bruckheimer presents...." (Pirates being the sole exception of the past eight or so years)

"A Paul Anderson film..."

"From two of the producers of The Waterboy"
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post #14 of 61
8/21/03 at 1:24am
Quote:
möovyphreak:
I don't ever want to hear any of the opening lines featured in <a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/comedian.html" target="_blank">this trailer</a>
That is the funniest trailer, ever! Thankyou!
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post #15 of 61
8/21/03 at 1:33am
Yeah, I *really* hate those incredibly desperate ones that say, "From one of the producers of..." or "Academy Award Nominee..." or "Catered by the same people who did..."
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post #16 of 61
8/21/03 at 4:42am
P.O.D. - Boom

Most overused song in trailers I've ever heard.

And loud announcements like "A Film By Gore Verbinski", when only a handful of people will know who the fuck the guy is.

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post #17 of 61
8/21/03 at 6:22am
"From the producers who've watched (Academy Award Title)"

the joke is tired
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post #18 of 61
8/21/03 at 7:33am
Quote:
_New__Order_:
"with music by [self]acclaimed composer Jerry Goldsmith..."
Now why'd you have to go and dis the Goldsmith like that?

And I never want to hear "... comes the (romantic comedy/action/comedy) event of the season/year."

Also, we need to get rid of the commercials that latch onto any adjective that allows that film to be #1 at something. "Come see the #1 gross-out coming of age comedy with midgets in America!"
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post #19 of 61
8/21/03 at 7:40am
"CARROT TOP IS-"
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post #20 of 61
8/21/03 at 7:46am
Quote:
Richard 'Poxy' Dickson:
Now why'd you have to go and dis the Goldsmith like that?
The Goldsmith?

That's another thing that needs to be put to an end.

Preceding a celebrity's name (or nick name) with the article "the" to achieve a percieved pop cultural status that isn't there.

Bad Uses:

The Stifler
The Goldsmith
The Dansen
The Diesel
The Craven

Good Uses:

The Favs
The Rock
The Fleck
The Finch
The Screech
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post #21 of 61
8/21/03 at 7:48am
I don't know about trailer lines, but I never want another movie to be titled:

"Searching for (semi-celebrity)"

i.e. Debra Winger, Bobby Fischer, Bobcat
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post #22 of 61
8/21/03 at 7:51am
I would have to throw in a 'The Vaughn' as well. Barring Old School (which I kinda liked anyway) I've loved him in everything I've seen him in. Even JP2.

Yeah, I said it. Do something!
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post #23 of 61
8/21/03 at 8:15am
Quote:
Momotaro:
I would have to throw in a 'The Vaughn' as well.
I was about to too. Someone on the D45 board once refered to him as "The Vaughn" and that's what got me to intially start thinking about why people do this.

I was so close to using that as an example.
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post #24 of 61
8/21/03 at 8:59am
Around these parts, you can't go wrong with "The Wimmer".
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post #25 of 61
8/21/03 at 10:06am
"...Proudly presents..."

You instantly know the movie is pants when that line is uttered.
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post #26 of 61
8/21/03 at 11:53am
"At the height of civilization..."
"Outlaws will become heroes..."
"Pepare to be-"
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post #27 of 61
8/21/03 at 12:15pm
'Bruce Willis is Captain Mack "Maverick" Mackey, with Ralph Fiennes as Usadma bin Husseinden...'
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post #28 of 61
8/21/03 at 4:27pm
One liners:
"This time, it's personal."
"Let's rock and roll!"
"Lock and load."
"Place your bets." (thank god that got cut from FvsJ)

Tag lines:
"Better than the original."
"The best (sports, war, romantic comedy, urban drama, porn) movie since (the last sports, war, romantic comedy, urban drama, porn) movie!"
"One of the year's best!"
"The funnyest movie ever!" -Larry King
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post #29 of 61
8/21/03 at 4:35pm
The must see film of the year...
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post #30 of 61
8/21/03 at 4:38pm
expect the unexpected..
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post #31 of 61
8/21/03 at 4:47pm
Quote:
möovyphreak:
I don't ever want to hear any of the opening lines featured in <a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/comedian.html" target="_blank">this trailer</a>, though it's making fun of those types of ads anyway.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!



You owe me a 7up I splurted it all over the place.
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post #32 of 61
8/21/03 at 8:41pm
"...Now...an elite team of ______ (crimefighters, chimpanzees, clowns) must _______ (race against time, have sex with each other etc etc)"

"A film by Jan De Bont"

"People actually fly!!"

"Steve Martin and 50 Cent in..."
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post #33 of 61
8/21/03 at 8:47pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Quartermain:
P.O.D. - Boom

Most overused song in trailers I've ever heard.
What? More than Drowning Pool's "Bodies" in all it's variously remixed glory?
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post #34 of 61
8/21/03 at 8:54pm
let the bodies hit the floor!

Referring to Actors by their last names only.
"snipes, smith, harrolson etc." That's annoying.
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post #35 of 61
8/21/03 at 9:38pm
"From Dino DeLaurentis, in association with Carolco Pictures....."
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post #36 of 61
8/21/03 at 11:45pm
"...but this summer..."
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post #37 of 61
8/22/03 at 2:36am
Lines uttered by actors

"Two against one...I like those odds"

"THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING 'BOUT"

"Ok, lets go."

"WE NEED BACKUP!"
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post #38 of 61
8/22/03 at 9:22am
"De Niro is back!...

.....as 'Fearless Leader'"
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post #39 of 61
8/22/03 at 9:34am
"...All the paper-shuffling bureaucratic red-tape in the world won't get your twin brother out of an Al Qaeda concentration camp--even if he is the twice-decorated American hero who singlehandedly put down the evil reign of the mad tyrant Husseinden and his army of Taliban goons...

"This summer, Bruce Willis is Lieutenant Mitch Mackey of the NYPD..."
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post #40 of 61
8/29/03 at 9:01pm
"Nothing is what it seems."
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post #41 of 61
8/29/03 at 9:15pm
This thread reminds me of a MadTV skit. I swear it went on for 5 minutes.
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post #42 of 61
8/29/03 at 9:27pm
How about the entire plot of a movie that's actually good?
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post #43 of 61
8/30/03 at 1:47am
"...beyond imagination!"(how can something be BEYOND imagination?)

I also find the tv spots amusing when they say"the number one sci-fi film in the country!"
When,in fact it's the ONLY sci-fi film in release!

Adding to the always useless Larry King's reviews,I like it when critics state the obvious,such as describing the newest Jackie Chan film.."action packed!"

I believe my liberal scum sweetheart Janeane Garofalo had a skit about movie tag lines,to which I must add-"I'm too old for this sh*t!"
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post #44 of 61
8/30/03 at 2:28am
"All her life..."
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post #45 of 61
8/30/03 at 2:42am
"but this time"

"Until now"

"An ordinary guy"

After character gets kicked/punched in the groin/face and someone else utters the tired line, "Oh, that's gotta hurt" (Army of Darkness excluded) or "That's gonna leave a mark."


"Rob Scheider
IS ------"

Any movie of late with Pacino screaming like a moron. "Whooo-ahhhh!"
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post #46 of 61
9/1/03 at 6:09pm
Quote:
evilbeaker:
"George Lucas' thrilling reworking of Radiers of the lost ark"
Aiieeeeee! "I ´m gonna blow up the prints, Spielberg..."
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post #47 of 61
9/1/03 at 7:49pm
From Academy Award Winning Director Ron Howard and Academy Award Winning Producer Brian Grazer...
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post #48 of 61
9/1/03 at 10:54pm
Quote:
möovyphreak:
I don't ever want to hear any of the opening lines featured in <a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/comedian.html" target="_blank">this trailer</a>, though it's making fun of those types of ads anyway.
That was gold moovy!
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post #49 of 61
9/1/03 at 10:56pm
I could do without....

"The feel-good film of the ......"

or anything that mentions "date movie". Swykk's got it good with me--I hate chick flicks.

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post #50 of 61
9/2/03 at 12:53am
You guys have picked good ones, but how about these...

"Acadamy Award Winner Matt Damon/Ben Affleck."

Yeah, okay. Use that line after they WRITE another movie, not just act in one.

"Vin Diesel IS..." a piece of shit...
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