Kenner's ALIEN.
My dad wanted to get it for me. Cun- er, Mom wouldn't let him.
At one point, a friend of my mother's took me shooping for my birthday and bought it for me.
Before she left the mall, she called my whor- er, Mom to tell her about the great White Sale at Whereverthefuck's and I was standing there as the conversation transpired...I'll never forget:
"...really good price, Joy. I bought two comforters for the boys......yes. Yes......he wanted the doll of that monster from the movie......what? We've already- Well, alright, Joy, alright. Okay then, okay...yeah. Yeah, okay...okay....bye-bye."
Then she turned to me and said:
"Your mother doesn't want you to have that."
I was clutching it in my hand, in the bag from Montgomery Ward.
I protested. I wasn't one of those kids that did the temper tantrum in public, so I relented and got a Hot Wheels Spiderman vs Green Goblin playset.
And when I got home, I-a freshly-minted six year old-looked at my mother and said the words I still tell her at holidays and family gatherings two decades later.
"I hate you."