Because Rath's the man and I don't want him to feel alone.
This script sucks, I know it does. I wrote about 5 pages for school and then stopped. I was thinking about picking it up again, but don't know. If you could read it and give me some comments, that'd be cool. I don't know, just give me some comments on my style. I figured I should be a man and throw some shit out for the dogs to destroy, so please do.
There's no title since it was a project for school and it's only like 5 pages. Plus, I stole a name or two from some sewers.
Thanks.
-------------------------------------------------
FADE IN:
INT. A SMALL CROWDED APARTMENT -- AFTERNOON
The room is clean, spotless to the point it seems calculated. Wall to wall shelves with books and movies on them. It isn't very big, and it doesn't belong to anyone special. The no one special who ones it is sitting in a corner, just sitting not moving. He is DEXTER HALLVARD, he is no one special in many ways. His looks are average, his height is average, his posture is average. He is average. He just sits in the corner, not in a chair, smoking. He doesn't move, except to bring the cigarette to his lips. He doesn't show any emotion he just sits. He pulls himself up and walks to his door. He opens it, locks it, and walks out.
INT. APARTMENT COMPLEX'S HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS
DEXTER walks out, the cigarette dangling from his lips. He walks out the door.
EXT. MINNEAPOLIS'S DOWNTOWN DISTRICT -- CONTINUOUS
DEXTER stands there, taking in the size of the town. He stands there not moving, people walking around him. He stares at the big building in front of him, and sighs. The cigarette falls out of his lips when he sighs. He goes to toward the building, checking for traffic. When he gets to the door, he lets out a slight laugh, a sad slight laugh. He walks in the door.
INT. LARGE OFFICE BUILDING -- CONTINUOUS
DEXTER walks in building. He looks around and walks toward the elevator. The security guard, smiles and nods at him.
GUARD
Hello, Mr. Hallvard.
DEXTER
George.
He walks past him while he says it, not looking at him. He walks up to the elevator, and presses the button. He leans against the wall. Watching the people come and go. The door opens.
INT. HALLWAY OF PUBLISHING COMPANY DEXTER WORKS FOR -- MOMENTS LATER
DEXTER steps out of the elevator, he turns the corner into an office area. He smiles at the lady at the reception desk, they don't speak. He walks into a door marked D. Hallvard.
INT. DEXTER'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
The office is clean and small, just like his apartment. A few movie posters on the wall, two chairs in front of his top clean desk, and a few manuscripts on shelves on the side walls near his desk. He has a nice sized window with a great view behind his desk. DEXTER walks in and stands there for a minute, he is just stands there. He then walks to his desk and slouches down onto his leather chair. He puts his head on his desk and does a silent scream. He picks his head up and turns around to look at the city. He stares for a moment until we hear a knock at the door.
DEXTER
Yes.
The door opens and JEFF walks in. Jeff is as average as Dexter, nothing special about him. Jeff walks in and smiles.
JEFF
Dex, you're early again.
DEXTER
The fuck you doing, Jeff?
JEFF
Came in early, saw you do the same.
DEXTER
Sit down.
Jeff closes the door and sits on a chair in front of Dexter.
DEXTER
Bored.
JEFF
Yeah.
DEXTER
Sam on your ass for shit to be done?
JEFF
Nah, just..bored.
DEXTER
Of course.
JEFF
You shoulda came with us last night.
DEXTER
Ehh, I had some work to do.
JEFF
Wanted to write?
DEXTER
Yeah.
JEFF
Get anything done.
DEXTER
Not really.
JEFF
See, you need to jump start your juice. Getting out will do that, you can't stay in all night.
DEXTER
I'm not much of a party guy, you know that.
JEFF
It was me, Kirby and Larry at a fucking coffee shop.
DEXTER
You guys usually go to clubs.
JEFF
We felt more mellow last night.
DEXTER
Doesn't matter, I'm not big on the whole sit around and talk about our sexual adventures thing.
JEFF
Oh come on, that's not all we talk about. Fuck, we hardly talk about that at all.
DEXTER
Oh come on.
JEFF
What the hell you got against it anyway?
DEXTER
We've been through this shit before.
JEFF
Not really.
DEXTER
You wanna bet?
JEFF
Come out with us tonight.
DEXTER
Let me sit on it, I got some stuff to do right now.
JEFF
You can spare a few minutes.
DEXTER
No really, I have to work.
JEFF
Come on.
DEXTER
If you leave me alone, I'll go with you tonight.
JEFF
That a boy.
DEXTER
Leave.
JEFF
I got it, I'm gone.
Jeff gets up and walks out of the room. Dexter turns on his computer. He stares at it for a moment. Then we jump cut to:
INT. DEXTER'S OFFICE -- EVENING
DEXTER'S head is facing the ceiling. His eyes are open and he has a blank expression. After a few beats, JEFF walks in. Dexter doesn't move. Jeff stands there, he doesn't move from the frame of the doorway. Dexter's head slowly lowers and stares at Jeff.
DEXTER
Where?
JEFF
Come with me.
DEXTER
Give me a few minutes.
JEFF
What the hell you have to do? You were staring at the fucking wall when I walked in.
DEXTER
Well for one, I have to sign out of my computer.
Jeff walks in and sits down. Dexter moves his hand to the keyboard.
JEFF
Did you get a lot done today?
DEXTER
Ehh.
JEFF
Kirby's gonna be there tonight.
DEXTER
And?
JEFF
Thought you didn't like him.
DEXTER
Don't like any of those guys.
JEFF
You are Mr. Sociable.
DEXTER
Where we going.
JEFF
A little bar. Nothing big.
DEXTER
Alright.
He swings backward with his chair. He gets up.
DEXTER
Lets go.
INT. A SMALL CROWDED BAR -- EVENING
A group of four sits at a table. The group is JEFF, DEXTER, KIRBY, and LARRY. Dexter is sitting across from Kirby. Kirby is average height, good looking and he knows it. He wears a tight muscle shirt, even though he isn't buff. He is wearing a smirk on his face. Not a mean smirk, a normal smirk, a "having a fucking great day and enjoying it" smirk. Dexter is trying to distance himself from the group by leaning against the edge of the booth. He is at a position where he can see all the group at once. Jeff is sitting next to Kirby, Jeff is talking. Jeff is happy. Larry is the oldest of the bunch. A noticeable age difference from his 40's to the rest of the guys 20's. He just sits back as passively as Dexter.
This script sucks, I know it does. I wrote about 5 pages for school and then stopped. I was thinking about picking it up again, but don't know. If you could read it and give me some comments, that'd be cool. I don't know, just give me some comments on my style. I figured I should be a man and throw some shit out for the dogs to destroy, so please do.
There's no title since it was a project for school and it's only like 5 pages. Plus, I stole a name or two from some sewers.
Thanks.
-------------------------------------------------
FADE IN:
INT. A SMALL CROWDED APARTMENT -- AFTERNOON
The room is clean, spotless to the point it seems calculated. Wall to wall shelves with books and movies on them. It isn't very big, and it doesn't belong to anyone special. The no one special who ones it is sitting in a corner, just sitting not moving. He is DEXTER HALLVARD, he is no one special in many ways. His looks are average, his height is average, his posture is average. He is average. He just sits in the corner, not in a chair, smoking. He doesn't move, except to bring the cigarette to his lips. He doesn't show any emotion he just sits. He pulls himself up and walks to his door. He opens it, locks it, and walks out.
INT. APARTMENT COMPLEX'S HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS
DEXTER walks out, the cigarette dangling from his lips. He walks out the door.
EXT. MINNEAPOLIS'S DOWNTOWN DISTRICT -- CONTINUOUS
DEXTER stands there, taking in the size of the town. He stands there not moving, people walking around him. He stares at the big building in front of him, and sighs. The cigarette falls out of his lips when he sighs. He goes to toward the building, checking for traffic. When he gets to the door, he lets out a slight laugh, a sad slight laugh. He walks in the door.
INT. LARGE OFFICE BUILDING -- CONTINUOUS
DEXTER walks in building. He looks around and walks toward the elevator. The security guard, smiles and nods at him.
GUARD
Hello, Mr. Hallvard.
DEXTER
George.
He walks past him while he says it, not looking at him. He walks up to the elevator, and presses the button. He leans against the wall. Watching the people come and go. The door opens.
INT. HALLWAY OF PUBLISHING COMPANY DEXTER WORKS FOR -- MOMENTS LATER
DEXTER steps out of the elevator, he turns the corner into an office area. He smiles at the lady at the reception desk, they don't speak. He walks into a door marked D. Hallvard.
INT. DEXTER'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
The office is clean and small, just like his apartment. A few movie posters on the wall, two chairs in front of his top clean desk, and a few manuscripts on shelves on the side walls near his desk. He has a nice sized window with a great view behind his desk. DEXTER walks in and stands there for a minute, he is just stands there. He then walks to his desk and slouches down onto his leather chair. He puts his head on his desk and does a silent scream. He picks his head up and turns around to look at the city. He stares for a moment until we hear a knock at the door.
DEXTER
Yes.
The door opens and JEFF walks in. Jeff is as average as Dexter, nothing special about him. Jeff walks in and smiles.
JEFF
Dex, you're early again.
DEXTER
The fuck you doing, Jeff?
JEFF
Came in early, saw you do the same.
DEXTER
Sit down.
Jeff closes the door and sits on a chair in front of Dexter.
DEXTER
Bored.
JEFF
Yeah.
DEXTER
Sam on your ass for shit to be done?
JEFF
Nah, just..bored.
DEXTER
Of course.
JEFF
You shoulda came with us last night.
DEXTER
Ehh, I had some work to do.
JEFF
Wanted to write?
DEXTER
Yeah.
JEFF
Get anything done.
DEXTER
Not really.
JEFF
See, you need to jump start your juice. Getting out will do that, you can't stay in all night.
DEXTER
I'm not much of a party guy, you know that.
JEFF
It was me, Kirby and Larry at a fucking coffee shop.
DEXTER
You guys usually go to clubs.
JEFF
We felt more mellow last night.
DEXTER
Doesn't matter, I'm not big on the whole sit around and talk about our sexual adventures thing.
JEFF
Oh come on, that's not all we talk about. Fuck, we hardly talk about that at all.
DEXTER
Oh come on.
JEFF
What the hell you got against it anyway?
DEXTER
We've been through this shit before.
JEFF
Not really.
DEXTER
You wanna bet?
JEFF
Come out with us tonight.
DEXTER
Let me sit on it, I got some stuff to do right now.
JEFF
You can spare a few minutes.
DEXTER
No really, I have to work.
JEFF
Come on.
DEXTER
If you leave me alone, I'll go with you tonight.
JEFF
That a boy.
DEXTER
Leave.
JEFF
I got it, I'm gone.
Jeff gets up and walks out of the room. Dexter turns on his computer. He stares at it for a moment. Then we jump cut to:
INT. DEXTER'S OFFICE -- EVENING
DEXTER'S head is facing the ceiling. His eyes are open and he has a blank expression. After a few beats, JEFF walks in. Dexter doesn't move. Jeff stands there, he doesn't move from the frame of the doorway. Dexter's head slowly lowers and stares at Jeff.
DEXTER
Where?
JEFF
Come with me.
DEXTER
Give me a few minutes.
JEFF
What the hell you have to do? You were staring at the fucking wall when I walked in.
DEXTER
Well for one, I have to sign out of my computer.
Jeff walks in and sits down. Dexter moves his hand to the keyboard.
JEFF
Did you get a lot done today?
DEXTER
Ehh.
JEFF
Kirby's gonna be there tonight.
DEXTER
And?
JEFF
Thought you didn't like him.
DEXTER
Don't like any of those guys.
JEFF
You are Mr. Sociable.
DEXTER
Where we going.
JEFF
A little bar. Nothing big.
DEXTER
Alright.
He swings backward with his chair. He gets up.
DEXTER
Lets go.
INT. A SMALL CROWDED BAR -- EVENING
A group of four sits at a table. The group is JEFF, DEXTER, KIRBY, and LARRY. Dexter is sitting across from Kirby. Kirby is average height, good looking and he knows it. He wears a tight muscle shirt, even though he isn't buff. He is wearing a smirk on his face. Not a mean smirk, a normal smirk, a "having a fucking great day and enjoying it" smirk. Dexter is trying to distance himself from the group by leaning against the edge of the booth. He is at a position where he can see all the group at once. Jeff is sitting next to Kirby, Jeff is talking. Jeff is happy. Larry is the oldest of the bunch. A noticeable age difference from his 40's to the rest of the guys 20's. He just sits back as passively as Dexter.
