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THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUDWEST '02 -- or, You'd Better Know What You're Getting Into....

post #1 of 46
7/11/02 at 9:13pm
Thread Starter 
Transcript of my recent IM session with Ol' Will:

Blofeld: Thanks for the pictures. The place looks like I'll really enjoy it, and if I decide not to return to Colorado, I can hide on your property for years without you ever being any the wiser.

Will: That's true. Lots of hiding places here. I sometimes think that actress from Superman, Nichol***** whatever is living on my grounds.

Blofeld: Margot Kidder? You've got a woodpile?

Will: Yeah, her! Lots of them. I have about five cords of wood stacked around the place

Blofeld: Ah ... now the truth comes out. We're being invited only to cart the wood up the hill...

Will: Shit. I let the cat out of the bag

Blofeld: "Hey, gang. You want a beer? Two more logs from the depth of the property... Looking for food, idjuts? Cord and a half... FASTER, FUCK-NUTS!"

Blofeld: "But, Will ... it's hot. Can we have water?"

Will: NO water! Water costs money.
Will: Sweat. I have sweat right here
Will: Damn. Like I really need a lot of firewood in August, when it will be between the high 90's and over 100 degrees. Heh!

Blofeld: Yes, but you're getting ready for the winter...

Will: Winter is 70 degrees here
Will: Not like Denver at all

Blofeld: I know. But you need the wood for your imported, Italian pizza oven...

Blofeld: Will, your cover is blown, the secret is out. I'm posting the wood hauling conspiracy on the site.

Will: Its not my wood I need hauled, its my ashes

Blofeld: Your ashes ... need your barbecue pit cleaned, huh?

Will: Yep!

Just thought you should know. We're a work-party, folks. REBEL! REFUSE TO GO (like Django).
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post #2 of 46
7/11/02 at 10:35pm
Ok, since you think you know I'll tell the part you don't...

Django is the firetender. And he carries this branding iron all the damned time...I don't know why.
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post #3 of 46
7/11/02 at 11:52pm
Here's the rest of the transcript:

Blofeld: And Will, is that butthole Ludwig coming?

Will: No Blo, sadly my wonderful friend Mikey isn't going to make, although I'd happily pay for his ticket.

Blofeld: Screw 'em! Is that Timmy guy coming?

Will: Why yes Blo, Timmy is my best friend I would never consider such a party without having him here.

Blofeld: Damn it! Are there any fine women I can score on or guys I can roll for their money?

Will: No Blo, I think we should try kindness and love with one and all.

Blofeld: Homo!

Now the transmssion is complete!
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post #4 of 46
7/12/02 at 1:08am
Will: No Blo, sadly my wonderful friend Mikey isn't going to make, although I'd happily pay for his ticket.

I can't ask this of you, but thank you for thinking enough about this event to mention it dude!
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post #5 of 46
7/12/02 at 1:10am
Thread Starter 
You know who is going to be expected to keep the yard deer warm at night...
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post #6 of 46
7/12/02 at 2:13am
Hands off my bitches foo'! They'll wait for tha Mack daddy to arrive yo!
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post #7 of 46
7/12/02 at 2:44am
Haha, Will, that was awesome! You know, when it comes to hauling wood, I'm tops! It's in my blood to do these things cause I'm ethnic.
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post #8 of 46
7/12/02 at 11:26am
Th truth about CHUDWEST '02...

It's gonna be epic and you too should be there.
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post #9 of 46
7/12/02 at 12:15pm
Quote:
Mike Arsenault (Ludwig):
Will: No Blo, sadly my wonderful friend Mikey isn't going to make, although I'd happily pay for his ticket.

I can't ask this of you, but thank you for thinking enough about this event to mention it dude!
Wanna come down, Mikey? Email me.
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post #10 of 46
7/12/02 at 12:17pm
Quote:
Voltes & The Topkapi Schmo:
Haha, Will, that was awesome! You know, when it comes to hauling wood, I'm tops! It's in my blood to do these things cause I'm ethnic.
Voltes, you can come and NOT haul wood. Let's see, who is going to be my bitch that weekend?
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post #11 of 46
7/12/02 at 11:53pm
Quote:
Will:
Quote:
Voltes & The Topkapi Schmo:
Haha, Will, that was awesome! You know, when it comes to hauling wood, I'm tops! It's in my blood to do these things cause I'm ethnic.
Voltes, you can come and NOT haul wood. Let's see, who is going to be my bitch that weekend?
Sorry someone else already holds my reins!

(It was the Wine lover, in the garage loft, with timmy's tooth!)
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post #12 of 46
7/13/02 at 8:01pm
The REAL truth about CHUDWEST '02 is:

It's meant in part to show what can be made possible in the future...re: CHUD.CON.

Enough interest in a simple BBQ which gathers the illuminati of CHUD will prove that interest in an even bigger event is surely possible.

Some don't realize, some don't want to realize.

But every institution began in humble surroundings...so too CHUD.CON.

CHUDWEST is its predecessor.

Search your feelings...you know it to be true.
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post #13 of 46
7/14/02 at 2:04am
Quote:
Jabbadonut V.1:
Well, it is true Kronos, because we will BE a de-facto Chud.con.

I am bringing my appetite, as I am in the early stages of a diet in an effort to lose a few pounds. By Chudwest time I should be very hungry. . . .
We shall feed your hunger Jabba.
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post #14 of 46
7/14/02 at 12:26pm
Or is that "we shall feed on Jabba"...that's what the memo was about, wasn't it?

Whoops, I shouldn'ta said that...
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post #15 of 46
7/14/02 at 1:44pm
No No. I think it was more along the lines of we would drink of Jabba's blood then stuff him for show at CHUDCon!

We love you Jabs!
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post #16 of 46
7/14/02 at 5:13pm
Then put it on the webcam for display at GnomeDex?
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post #17 of 46
7/17/02 at 3:36pm
If Grendel brings the twins, I know exactly where I am setting up the webcam!
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post #18 of 46
8/2/02 at 2:47am
Twins? Webcam? CHUDWEST!
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post #19 of 46
8/12/02 at 5:53pm
Da grebdel has officially announced his apperance at CHUDWEST along with the beautiful HotPants.

Kronos shall be there.

Blofeld the mad bomber, shall be there.

CT will be there.

Nelson will be there.

HAM will be there.

The man himself, O'l Will will be gracing you with his presence.

Subtuoi(sp) will be there.

Smiling Jack will be there.

The infamous Rylander will be there.

Rhinestone Cowboy has confirmed (Email me dude and let me know if you are alive) will be there, I hope.

Other chewers whom I forget right now will be there.

Hopefully, yt will make it and I am setting a very special place for her. Its the Sony setting.

Jabba will be there.

Actors will be there.

Actresses or Starlettes, will be there.

Never seen before footage will be there. Incredible food will be there.

Drinks of every description, including one's you'll like but have never tried will be there.

Pictures of the Chewers taken with starlettes will be there.

Free t-shirts and hats will be there.

Dinner at Nick's favorite LA resturant will be there.

Your cost for all the above? Nada, zero, zilch, nothing, gratis, free.

Who says there is no such thing as a free lunch? Sat. August the 24th at 1:00 O'Clock, that myth will be abused and destroyed.

CHUDWEST '02, THE PLACE TO BE" "BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

You KNOW you owe it to yourself. You owe the stories about it, the legend, to your grandchildren.
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post #20 of 46
8/12/02 at 6:16pm
Thread Starter 
What, no Django?
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post #21 of 46
8/15/02 at 1:27am
Lacey?
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post #22 of 46
8/15/02 at 12:32pm
Damn, wish I had the dough to see Blofeld haul wood.

lol, Have fun guys and don't be shy in front of the camera.

P.S. No, nut picks. Please...
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post #23 of 46
8/15/02 at 1:09pm
Quote:
Brian (billylove) Collins:
Damn, wish I had the dough to see Blofeld haul wood.

lol, Have fun guys and don't be shy in front of the camera.

P.S. No, nut picks. Please...
But I was thinking of taking pictures of my Macadamia and Pecan trees and they are both full of nuts. Are you sure you wouldn't want to see ol' Will's nuts on the boards?
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post #24 of 46
8/15/02 at 1:11pm
God no I couldn't take the last one.

And above all I don't want to be present for any of those nut shots!

And you know what I'm talking about!

P.S.

Lacey heard Kronos would be there. We'll see what becomes of that.
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post #25 of 46
8/15/02 at 2:46pm
Dammit...someone blabbed?
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post #26 of 46
8/15/02 at 7:00pm
Quote:
Kronos:
Dammit...someone blabbed?
Well she was threatening not to come if I didn't name drop!

Now she'll see what's up.

Hope is still alive Kronos my man!

Still Alive!!!!
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post #27 of 46
8/16/02 at 12:51pm
I must say - I'm quite excited. Break out the Sleeman's Honey Brown!
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post #28 of 46
8/16/02 at 2:53pm
Quote:
Subotai:
I must say - I'm quite excited. Break out the Sleeman's Honey Brown!
You're from Canada.

You should!
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post #29 of 46
8/16/02 at 3:10pm
You're right, I should.

Last night I was watching Jay Mohr on Kilborn, and 'Burbank' caught my ear - home of the Gay Rodeo?
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post #30 of 46
8/16/02 at 3:21pm
Thread Starter 
The cat is out of the bag...
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post #31 of 46
8/16/02 at 6:30pm
Quote:
Blofeld 28.06.42.12:
The cat is out of the bag...
AHHHHHHHHH DAMNIT!

But a on semi serious note what is the bill now for the CHUDWest? Or is that to be worked out to perfection at Vida, which I never actually said I was going to (damnit again!)?

What is the line up? HOw is this puppy organized? When is the gay rodeo making its trip thru the playground where the children play?
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post #32 of 46
8/16/02 at 7:06pm
Comped CHUDWEST caps are in limited supply...be early unless you want to order one later.
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post #33 of 46
8/16/02 at 8:56pm
I'll show up at 12:30 or something...that way I can meet everyone one at a time. All at once may be an overpowering experience.
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post #34 of 46
8/17/02 at 8:19am
Quote:
Subotai:
You're right, I should.

Last night I was watching Jay Mohr on Kilborn, and 'Burbank' caught my ear - home of the Gay Rodeo?
"Yippie ki yeah, bitch!"

Ah, Jay Mohr. Truly a gifted comedic talent. Did you know that Joy Mohr spends a lot of his days off entertaining orphans (not the gang) and homeless children? It's true. He seems like he would be a hell-of-a-nice guy.
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post #35 of 46
8/17/02 at 2:53pm
Oh and looks like I will be getting there at the fashionably late time of 1:30.

Got to get my haircut so I look good for you guys.
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post #36 of 46
8/17/02 at 5:09pm
Quote:
CTDelude:
Oh and looks like I will be getting there at the fashionably late time of 1:30.

Got to get my haircut so I look good for you guys.
That's great. It gives the other guys a chance to take the best meat and put back pieces they didn't like the taste of, but that's OK, you take your time.

1:30 is fine. Blofeld will probably already be in his cups, long before that, but hell you can still talk to him when he's drunk, right? Right?
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post #37 of 46
8/19/02 at 12:44am
Wait it does start at 1:00pm right?
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post #38 of 46
8/19/02 at 12:54am
Yeah...THE DAY BEFORE!
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post #39 of 46
8/19/02 at 12:48pm
Which reminds me...did I ever sign up for Friday? I thought I did but I don't think I got any feed back about that!

Ah!
BEANS!
HAVE!
BEEN!
SPILLED!
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post #40 of 46
8/19/02 at 1:35pm
Thread Starter 
Sure, you can talk to me when I'm drunk. I get all amorous and stuff...
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post #41 of 46
8/19/02 at 2:38pm
And then the pictures start...
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post #42 of 46
8/19/02 at 3:55pm
Dang cryptic answers!

Why you digging on the young'n!
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post #43 of 46
8/19/02 at 7:31pm
Thread Starter 
WAIT A MINUTE! Ol' Will just called me and told me that my performing the entire collection of Shakespeare plays WOULD NOT BE WELCOMED at CHUDWEST. Well, I'll tell you, I'm rethinking this deal. If I can't have a captive audience...
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post #44 of 46
8/19/02 at 7:47pm
Quote:
Blofeld 28.06.42.12:
WAIT A MINUTE! Ol' Will just called me and told me that my performing the entire collection of Shakespeare plays WOULD NOT BE WELCOMED at CHUDWEST. Well, I'll tell you, I'm rethinking this deal. If I can't have a captive audience...
Only if you play Puck.
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post #45 of 46
8/19/02 at 8:38pm
I'm up for Blo playing Romeo AND Juliet!
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post #46 of 46
8/19/02 at 8:46pm
Uh...uhuhuhhuhhh...up...
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