Best sex ever?

My ex-wife(I give her props for being outstanding sexually).

And the places? Well, if we were cats we'd have had water thrown on us(I had a neighbor who actually threw something at our window we were so loud). Wow, now that I look at it we were always taking what you'd call chances. It seemed as if there were time we'd have at it...and it fairly didn't matter where.

Seedy, just seedy.

It's gotta be this one, probably.

Summer 1992. I was a Sea Scout.

- Nobody say I goddamn word -

Anyway for a few years the two squads, one for us guys and one for the chicks, had been intergrated. The leader had his head in the clouds and his second was a piece of shit. Didn't care about anything or anyone.

Which lead to a lot of grabass brought about no doubt by the fact that #1 let his daughters run the show. The eldest one, Lisa who was about 17 at the time, took charge of the older guys. Her nympho sister reigned over us juniors.

I was there because my father once sailed under the guy in charge. I was a legacy. And as such, I got busted whenever we didn't do anything. When we wasted time.

And to the old folks like The Leader and Pops, grabass was a waste of time.

As such, I avoided it most times. I'd rather do the work than get my ass kicked by my father for looking at a piece of ass.

I was 14. You'll have to excuse me.

Point is I didn't play the game and as such I usually butted heads with the rest of the crew.

Including Lisa.

One long Saturday in the middle of August of said year, we were forced by the brass to drydock the boats for repair.

At some point Lisa, who had been dating the head guy in our troop, broke up with his ass. He wasn't too thrilled about this you see and basically made her life a living hell.

My job - since no one would put any tools let along a sander in my hand - was to ferry crewmen back and forth across the channel from the drydock to the main base.

Long story short I saw them fighting and I kicked his ass in front of everyone. He waited until Pops and the Brass split and he and his friends beat the shit outta me, jacked my boat, and ran over my ass with it.

So I was pretty fucked up.

Well since she was in charge, Lisa rushed me over to the base where I had to jump in the shower immediately due to my wounds and the contaminated water in LBC Harbor.

I could barely move to get my torn clothes off. Seeing this, Lisa came in to help. Blinded by pain, I didn't see much.

I turned around and there she was stark naked standing in front of me.

She soaped me up. Then went down.

Then she helped me take her right there in the shower. It was my first and I find it fitting that not only was I fucked up physically but that I had to have help getting the job done.

Afterwards she tended my wounds and took me to rest upstairs in The Brass' office. Where we did it again.

Then everyone returned.

We never mentioned it to anyone, nor did it happen again.

There you go...

Well, since I can count my sexual encounters on one hand... It would have to be Heart and mine's first times. Both of us being virgins made it of so much better.

I like to be an optomist and assume the best sex is still ahead.
Of course, at this rate, I'll explode.

But of so far?
Sorry, I'll share alot of things, but publicly airing that isn't one of them. Besides, there's several tied up there due to varying reasons, it's hard to choose...and I don't want to. Each of the partners that made it that high on the "list" had their own quirks that made them special. I don't want to quantify them.

Wow, all this talk about sex is making me nostalgic....

Django once again...hero.

Fucked up, wounded, contaminated, Sea Scout, still gets noog.

...kidding about the Sea Scout. I always thought that would have been cool. Hey, I was a Scout Troop SPL for several years.

So many great sexual encounters, here's a few highlights:

Summer of '88 - I was seduced by my best friend's older sister. I was 18, she was 25 and drop dead gorgeous. There was a two week span where I was schooled on all things sex. He's still my best freind, but this is a sore subject with him...

The following summer: I was visiting this same friend in Providence, we were partying, and met this group of girls while we were trying to get a cab. We lied to them and told them we were having a party at his place, so they came along. We get there and of course there is no party - just the five of us, so I start handing out tequila shots, one thing leads to another and me and this gorgeous brunette end up screwing all night long. Woke up the following morning, had sex with her, fell back asleep and when I woke up again she was gone. No name, no number, but I'll never forget her.

Summer of '94 - Best BJ ever. I mean like earth shattering.

95'-'01 - my ex-girlfriend and I had so much great sex in so many places that she deserves a lifetime achievement award.

"To quote Woody Allen, "The worst sex I ever had ... was still pretty good." "

Unfortunately, I can't agree. Two of my partners were so uptight, I felt like a necrophiliac. Another expected me to do EVERYTHING...which can be fun, but not every time.
Sorry, girls, I like interaction.
Then there were a few times that were just plain not fun at all...two times due to emotional manipulation on their part (I was young and didn't know any better), and once with an excess use of teeth.
Yes, I'm recovering well from the surgery, thankyewverymuch.

However, other moments blot those from my memory. Oh, my....

Well thank you, K.

There's actually a couple of more really good stories outta that, not the least of which is when SHE tried to run me over in her car.

Like father, like daughter it turns out.

And there's always the one that got me thrown out of my gig on the college paper...

Or...

That should be a lesson...pay for sex. It's a straight-foreward transaction then. None of this emotion that gets so in the way.

Oh, my ex-wife tried that car business with me too. Would have put a huge hurt on me had she succeeded.

But...anybody ever do it in a church?
*raises hand*
...on the top of a boat where everyone can see?
*raises hand*
...on the side of a mountain in full view of anybody around?
*raises hand*
...inside your school someplace(not the parking lot)?
*raises hand*

What a sordid tale we all can tell.

Multiple churches. Was a weird pasttime for me for awhile. And twice in baptismal pools at two different churces of the same denomination.

A thread should be started for weirdest place you've ever had sex. I "technically" had sex in the glass elevator at the Houston Galleria.

As for the best sex I ever had, damn it's fun remembering it, but hell if I'm going to write about it here. She was beautiful, she was amazing, and I was more in love with her than anything in the world. Just thinking about what it felt like to have her in my arms still has the power to take my fool breath away.

Django, I saw that porno too.

SJR, I was *IN* that elevator yesterday.

Please tell me this was during an event at the Wyndam, and the mall was closed....?

Hilariously, no. It was actually the day after Thanksgiving.

Heh...

[quote]Smilin' Jack Ruby:
>Applause< That made my Sunday

I'm not gonna go into detail, but when Johnny and I finally got together (after months of only talking on the phone), we spent almost (we had to eat you know) the entire four day visit getting re-acquainted, but in an obviously more physical sense. There was so much re-acquainting that I actually missed my plane home too (Oh darn! Heh), so we had no choice but to resume for another day.

We didn't technically have sex, but did almost everything else.

We were in a hottub, at her cousins. She, of course was getting down on little billy. Get this, while another couple was in there gettin their rocks on.

I was doing my best to hang on. wink

Whew! What drinking and a good ole hottub will do to you. I will never look at hottubs the same again.

Me - very big guy. Girl - very tiny. Best because I could hold her entire mass off the floor with just my arms and she was really bendy and could put her knees behind her ears. It was like doing it with a Korean gymnast, except she was latina.

Ok, well, saturday night takes the cake as being my best sex ever. Yep, Heart and I, once again. LOL.

Well then Shelby let me be the first in a long time to reply to this one..

Best sex I've ever had was for me the first time I realized I was kinky. I was tied up and blindfolded and I had no idea what was gonna happen. For all I know a car load of circus clowns could have popped up. Thankfully that wasn't the case. I did however get spanked rather thouroughly and I got eaten out til near delirum, however since I don't cum easy I was just reved up and ready to rawk. And at that point I got buggered good and fierce from behind. Which is sorta hard to do when tied up but thankfully the restraints were lax enough to enable me to be thrown that way.. And this was just in September of last year..

I like dirty rough sex. None of this cuddling bullshit.

The times I have had it on top of the MICROWAVE oven. I now call this "microwaving". Delicious!

I love you.

Who do you love Billy?

Every time is great. But a few standouts:

1. Australia, 1999, I'm hanging out with my best friend from college and her fiance. We go out to a club, drink and dance all night long, and come home in the wee morning hours. I'm soooo tired, I attempt to go to sleep in the living room. The next thing I know, both of them pounce on me and I am suddenly awake enough to have hours of fun in a threesome.

2. Similar story. Spent an evening getting drunk at a bar with friends. One of them happened t be a boy who I had a crush on for many years. We close out the bar and as I jump in a cab to go home, he jumps in after me. We get my place at like 6 a.m. and start getting it on. We end up in bed for what seemed like ages and when we finally decide to check a clock it was 6 PM!!! eek!

3. Same bar as in #2. Atfer many months of mutual flirting with the bar tender, I again close out the bar and he asks me to stay. I go downstairs with him as he is closing the register and doing whatever he has to do to shut down the bar and it takes forever because he stops to make out with me every few minutes. We go back to his place and the rest is history. He is 6'3" and I am 5' (and a former gymnast). Basical he was a giant jungle gym. We did ever position possible and then some in every room of the house. It was so fun that I haven't slept with him since cuz I feel like it will never live up to that night. He was also the only guy I've slept with that has a cock ring.

and again my appreciation for the Chud Ladies grows...

Mine was definitely the break up sex with my first girlfriend. she was going back to South Africa, and I didn't have the cash to go visit her, so we decided to semi-end it, fully knowing that it would be a long time (if ever) before we saw one another again. so, anyway, we had two days left and we pretty much spent all of those two days with each other doing pretty much everything. It was both incredibly lustful, but also incredibly emotional, and nothing ever came close to that level of intensity (in case you're wondering: the relationship really did end: we didn't see each other again, though we still talk occasionally. she's actually married now...).

I need to find this bar Diva goes to...it's not called Callahan's, is it?

"I was tied up and blindfolded and I had no idea what was gonna happen. For all I know a car load of circus clowns could have popped up."

Ok, I officially like this girl.

It was directed towards you. Of course if we can get purple into the mix... Oh yeah!

[quote]billylove:
billy's an equal opportunity stalker.

Awww I was gonna do that Sally Field oscar thing.. But I just don't have it in me..

Thanks though

[quote]kittyinjammies:
Well Billy we can indeed get purple into the mix.. Meow!!

It's a damn good thing I'm taking stalker applications at the moment. I need something to fill my day wink

I'm desperately trying to stay awake while they install 4 ceiling fans in my apartment, and I'm operating on like 3 hrs of sleep.

Post more people! Entertain me! wink

Thank you folks, he's here all week.
Try the veal.

Used to work at RadioShack and we had a new co-worker who was actually a hottie. Of course we all tried to hit on her but it didn't work. Well, we were working together one night about a month after she gets there (we hadn't worked together at night until then) and I close the door and have her hit the lights in the backroom. I walk in the back and there she is in panties and a bra.

We humped in the floor, on the manager's desk, on the stairs, and on a secluded part of the sales floor. It was awesome.

You said "humped."

Would you prefer "engaged in mutually consenting sexual intercourse"?

Or "foofed?

I actually prefer "foofed."

Squeaky, squeaky.

I don't know what I prefer, but hump is something middle schoolers say.

Obviously I have been working and hanging out in the wrong places with the wrong people.