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Worst situation ever

post #1 of 13
4/7/02 at 4:37pm
Thread Starter 
I need to stop drinking. Ever since summer, if I drink, it takes me a long time to get hard. The last two times I was so drunk I wasn't able to get hard.

I haven't hooked up sober in over a year, so I figured I'd take it easy on the booze last night just in case I hook up. The people I was supposed to meet up with weren't at the bar, but my friends sister said I could tag along with her to a party. I didn't want to hook up with her again cause it was kind of wierd and I didn't really know any of her friends, so I decided it was safe to drink.

I ended up hanging out with a friend of her friends that happened to be a lesbian(very open and kinda butch). She was really cool and everybody else was done for the night, but she wanted to keep drinking, so I told her that we had a keg left over at my house, so if she wanted to get shitfaced and watch a movie or to, it was cool. I thought, shes a lesbian, so I got nothing to worry about.

Got home, drank some more (I was trashed by now), and popped in Suicide Kings. She was laying in my bed and I was in my chair, she told me that I could sit on the bed cause she didn't bite, I did. She got up and turned off the lights, laid back down and grabbed my inner thigh. I figured what the heck, and we got into it. Guess what? Whiskey dick strikes again, even after an hour of foreplay.

Worst situation, ever. An actuall lesbian in my bed. Wow, I guess I really showed her what she was missing. Before she left she said "Now I don't feel so bad about having a girlfriend."

YARRRRRRRRRRRGH. NEED TO STOP DRINKING.
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post #2 of 13
4/7/02 at 4:46pm
The night I lost my virginity, I was like, "Wow! My first time! A milestone into adulthood!"

I was about four thrusts in when my girlfriend at the time (her first time, too) leaped out of bed and was like, "did you CUM?!?!" Yes, we were moronically condom-less.

I hadn't, but she was convinced I had (Southern church-going guilt inspires all kinds of insecurities), kicked me out of the bed, kicked me out of her house and made me drive her to her best friend's house at midnight...

...where she spent the night bragging about having lost her virginity to her friend and her friend's mom as I went home and figured I was the anti-christ (Satan later sent me an e-mail confirming that - I AM adopted, after all).

My introduction to the wide wide world of sex was less than optimum.

Try balancing alcohol with speed, by the way. Always worked for me. Too bad about the lesbian. I learned a lot about oral from a lesbian.
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post #3 of 13
4/7/02 at 4:47pm
And God if this forum isn't making me realize I have more hang-up's than Discover card-pimping telemarketers.
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post #4 of 13
4/7/02 at 5:32pm
Hmmmmm....

I don't think the problem is the drinking per se, it's the fact you end up trashed - and when trashed, even when whiskey dick doesn't strike, the performance is subpar.

I dunno what to tell you man; alcohol generally sends me one of 2 directions:

- up to a certain point, I have get ridiculous stamina and have rock star sex;

- past said point, I become a 3 pump chump with no idea where to put it anyway.

I'd love to give you a magic cure, SJR probably has a good idea. One of my all-time favorite cocktails in college was to get stoned, pop some ephedrine, and proceed to go drinking. I'd get butt wasted but remain awake enough to really enjoy it.

Y'know, reading that last paragraph makes me worry that someone will look at that and go "drug addict." Oh well.
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post #5 of 13
4/7/02 at 9:09pm
Drug addict. Sorry, I just had to. LOL.
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post #6 of 13
4/7/02 at 10:37pm
I have the opposite reaction to alcohol -- it takes me forever to finish. Not that anyone has even complained.... wink

The second-worse experience was New Year's Eve at my girlfriend's house. I was visiting (she lived down south from here) and her parent went out for the evening. So naturally, the good-natured romping begins, figuring we're a good four or five hours from parental re-entry. I swear to God, not fifteen minutes after midnight, we hear the front door opening and her parents coming in. I ever so dashingly leap into the closet and cower amongst her laundry, naked. Her parents actually went as far as to open her bedroom door and check on her (thankfully, I had closed the door to the room I was staying in, which I guess made them assume I was actually in there). Their curiosity sated, they went off to bed, at which point I figured, "Hey, we're safe, where were we?" Surprisingly, she was no longer in the mood.

The worst -- well, let me present this little play:

Two figures are in bed together

HER (annoyed): Are you done yet?

ME: Well I am now....

Curtain

My friends and I ended up calling her the Harpy, for very good reasons.
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post #7 of 13
4/7/02 at 10:38pm
Oh, for the record, those were two different girlfriends.
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post #8 of 13
4/7/02 at 10:56pm
Quote:
DJ Dylan:
Drug addict.

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wink
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post #9 of 13
4/7/02 at 11:10pm
That sucks.
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post #10 of 13
4/8/02 at 3:32pm
My worst time? Hmm, they were all bad except for the oral.

Ok, my absolute worst time/idiot mistake.

I was really getting into it with this girl. We were amost total naked. She was all worked up, I was too. Then that big drink I had earlier begged me to go to the bathroom.


I pushed her off and told her I needed to go to the bathroom. We'll I finished and came back in.

She wasn't in the mood anymore, and damn I wanted to get my rock on.

I tried asking her, but I kinda knew, she probably thought I lost my stuff and had a missfire.

I felt like such a goob, but I really needed to pee.
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post #11 of 13
4/8/02 at 6:03pm
Good and bad. Getting rug burn on the tops of my feet while giving anal to a chick I picked up in a bar.
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post #12 of 13
4/8/02 at 6:23pm
In college when I was 20 I had a study partner I was so totally hot for. We went back to my place and watched (I shit you not) Terror in Tiny Town, the all midget musical western. Since she stayed for whole thing I knew she'd stay the night, so we fooled around, but we didn't get under the belt as it were. And that's as far as it went.

Cut to a year later. I was 21 and still hot for her, but there wasn't much I could do about it. One night out I ran into her at a bar, and we talked. I always knew she was a cool chick because she liked The Wild Bunch and Russ Meyer, and so we drank, and talked, and drank, and went back to my place, where we played cards and drank whiskey. Of course eventually we played strip poker, and eventually we went up to my bedroom, and god damn it, I tried to get hard. But though she worked really hard to get a rise out of me, and I tried really hard, I could barely stay on the bed I was so hammered. She spent the night, and I saw around again erratically, but that was it. C'est la vie.
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post #13 of 13
4/9/02 at 8:19pm
Tip: There are other things to use besides something that's only any good to her when you have less blood going to your brain.

Of course, fine motor skills also become a problem when you're plastered.

And, of course, she has to actually be able to get off with foreplay. Some girls don't.
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