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Advice your parents gave you to about sex?

post #1 of 33
4/13/02 at 2:31am
Thread Starter 
My mom told me: "Don't sleep with every Tom, Dick & Harry"

To this day I am scared of anyone by that name.

Also, my aunt Jessie's (who helped raise me) advise to everything was to "kick em where it hurts"

Is there any enlightening advise that you received?
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post #2 of 33
4/13/02 at 3:13am
Aim high cause long distance gets you bonus points...

If a chick says she wants you, you don't want her...

Chicks with no underwear have no class and a stinky ass...

Never date anyone whose named after a weather patern...

Oral is not a good consolation prize...

Geez MDj is cool...
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post #3 of 33
4/13/02 at 10:24am
My parents, to this day, have never said the word "sex" in my presence and basically let me figure it out from my own reading, bawdy t-shirts, movies, and what I found out on the playground.
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post #4 of 33
4/13/02 at 11:24am
The only thing I ever heard was "Just don't get anyone pregnant."

My parents were so progressive.
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post #5 of 33
4/13/02 at 12:20pm
"If you let boys touch your chest, your tits will never grow."

"Only prostitutes give blow jobs."

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post #6 of 33
4/13/02 at 1:42pm
Before I left for Spring Break, my dad said "Don't come back with any diseases".
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post #7 of 33
4/13/02 at 8:24pm
My parents hit zero on the sex talkability scale. The only thing they ever asked me that aired on the side of teenage activity was "Are you sniffing glue?". I maintain to this day that that model F-14 stuck to my nose completely accidentally. Ahem.
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post #8 of 33
4/13/02 at 11:52pm
Well, my parents now know that Heart and I have reached the sexual level... And so far, nothing has been mentioned other then "dont get her pregnant."
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post #9 of 33
4/14/02 at 12:18am
Stop hitting on your cousins.
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post #10 of 33
4/14/02 at 1:33am
Never screw around with anyone crazier than you.

Which, in my opinion, just takes all the fun out of it.
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post #11 of 33
4/14/02 at 5:07am
I got my first lapdance from a cousin when I jumped her after she took my Winnie The Pooh bear...
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post #12 of 33
4/14/02 at 11:24am
Quote:
Smilin' Jack Ruby:
My parents, to this day, have never said the word "sex" in my presence and basically let me figure it out from my own reading, bawdy t-shirts, movies, and what I found out on the playground.
i couldve typed that and it would have worked exactly for me too...no talk for me...which im grateful for,but at the same time,is kinda sad,hehe...
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post #13 of 33
4/14/02 at 5:05pm
The first time I went on a date (with my Dad's kids' babysitter) my Dad was driving me somewhere and he told me, no shit, word for word: "Just get head, don't try to pull out. It doesn't work, trust me."
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post #14 of 33
4/14/02 at 10:32pm
Quote:
Vin Django:
I got my first lapdance from a cousin when I jumped her after she took my Winnie The Pooh bear...
Way to go.
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post #15 of 33
4/15/02 at 7:15am
"I got my first lapdance from a cousin when I jumped her after she took my Winnie The Pooh bear..."

At Disneyland? This the one your mom has photographic proof of, or do you have this fixation with lapdances & animation?
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post #16 of 33
4/15/02 at 12:47pm
My late father sat me down around 4th or 5th grade and read to me from these two books from some learning series. Can't remember the exact name, but the title was something like "Who am I?"

That's all I ever had. Everything else was through discovery.

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post #17 of 33
4/15/02 at 1:11pm
My mom told me to stop screwing around in there.

No seriously, never had the birds and bees chat.

I had to learn the hard way, through late night TV and various stolen porn mags.
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post #18 of 33
4/15/02 at 4:38pm
Porn mags are great ways to learn.
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post #19 of 33
4/15/02 at 11:59pm
Except you keep trying all these weird positions whose sole purpose is to expose joined crotches to the camera.
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post #20 of 33
4/16/02 at 4:48am
Not at all. The Pooh bit happened many moons ago when I was something of a Yard Monster and my cousin Rhonda was something of a drunken slut.

The Disneyland Lap Dance thing happened not quite so many moons ago. But alas it was also with something of a drunken slut.

What can I say, Uncle Walt just seems to always be around when I get some. Like his cryogenic head is somewhere smiling down at me.
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post #21 of 33
4/16/02 at 4:49am
And show me a guy who doesn't have a fixation on lap dances and animation...
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post #22 of 33
4/16/02 at 10:35am
Ok, you have a point. If I'm getting a lapdance, I'd prefer the girl to be animated rather than laconic.

I would, however, prefer them to NOT be re-animated.
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post #23 of 33
4/16/02 at 12:56pm
Quote:
Coyote:
Except you keep trying all these weird positions whose sole purpose is to expose joined crotches to the camera.
true
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post #24 of 33
4/16/02 at 1:04pm
sex was talked about very openly at my household. But sex involving me was NEVER mentioned. and I'm pretty sure its because my parents thought I was gay until I was 20 and actually brought a real live girl to a dinner.

on a funny side note, my friend's dad still thinks he's gay. Maybe my group of friends just put out that vibe, I don't know what it is. Of course I do sleep in his bed when I stay over but its a biiiig bed.
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post #25 of 33
4/16/02 at 7:21pm
If we're talking Barbara Crampton or Mindy Clarke, Re-Animated if fine. Believe me...
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post #26 of 33
4/19/02 at 2:38pm
Quote:
Django X:
If we're talking Barbara Crampton or Mindy Clarke, Re-Animated if fine. Believe me...
Dude!
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post #27 of 33
8/9/02 at 3:27pm
Resurrected for the newer chewers to give input.
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post #28 of 33
8/9/02 at 5:14pm
My parents dont ever talk about sex. I had to find everything out on my own.
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post #29 of 33
8/9/02 at 5:48pm
Maybe your parents never had sex. wink
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post #30 of 33
8/9/02 at 8:35pm
i got this cool pop up book. ^_^ it explained things with chickens and dogs first then covered humans last. i guess to try adn show the difference between mamals and non-mamals. but there was no real sex talk.

but i honestly got most of my formal book information from a college course. before that i learned on my own and did my own research.
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post #31 of 33
8/9/02 at 10:54pm
Quote:
Burke&Pansy:
Maybe your parents never had sex. wink
Umm... im pretty sure im not adopted.
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post #32 of 33
8/9/02 at 10:56pm
And i know you were joking.
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post #33 of 33
8/15/02 at 5:39am
not so mcuh a talk, as the fact that when I went to Israel for a couple of months, I suddenly found a large pack of condoms in my suitcase which I'm sure my mom or dad put in there.

other than that, it was just the basic, be careful, don't get her pregnant, use protection, etc.
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