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The Art of Flirting: A Flirting Discussion.

post #1 of 49
4/22/02 at 7:22pm
Thread Starter 
Are you a flirt? Do you flirt with everyone or just specific people? What does your SO think about you flirting (if you have one)? How do you feel about other people that flirt alot? Has flirting ever gotten you into trouble? <insert more flirting questions>

I am a big flirt, as I am sure most of you have noticed. I have a habit of flirting with everyone I meet...cute/ugly, male/female...although I hide the female flirting a little until I really know the girl.

My boyfriend knows that's how I have always been and how I will always be. I have to watch myself though because I am a very touchy feely person. Before I met my boyfriend I thought nothing of a flirtatious kiss or touch, but since I am sure that my boyfriend would not appreciate me doing that to our guy friends I have had to control myself. It's very hard for me to do

I am probably that girl at the party that is always annoying people by touching them and hanging on them alot. yea, I am sure you know my type

The only time flirting ever got me in trouble was when I was 14-16 flirting with 25+ year old men. I looked alot older than I was as a teen so when I would hit on these guys they would respond...until they found out my age and then they would practically run away from me. Of course I understand why now, but I just couldn't back then wink
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post #2 of 49
4/23/02 at 12:52am
*crickets*

What, nobody else responding? Flirting is part of the fun, it's like window shopping. Of course, most guys just prefer to pop in and out of the store and only get what they came for.

I'm an insatiable flirt. I have to me, since I abhor pickup lines...at least flirting is improv'd, and fresh.

It's never really gotten me in trouble...I don't think I've ever dated someone who wasn't also a big flirt, so there's never any jealousy there.
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post #3 of 49
4/23/02 at 12:22pm
I flirt with friends and strangers alike. I love it. It's fun. Significant other? Ain't got one.
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post #4 of 49
4/23/02 at 1:12pm
I couldn't flirt to save my life! Any tips?
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post #5 of 49
4/23/02 at 1:23pm
Since im already in a relationship, I dont flirt, other then with Heart. Before Heart and I started dating I would flirt with her. I dont flirt much.

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post #6 of 49
4/23/02 at 1:50pm
DJ, man, we need to put on a 12 step program. Repeat after me, "I do not have to mention I'm **** Heart in every post I make." wink

Oh, hell, that won't work...you'll have mentioned her again.
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post #7 of 49
4/23/02 at 2:55pm
I suck at flirting. For one, I never come up with a good line to introduce myself to a girl. And even when I talk to a girl, I'm never at ease and am unable to make myself look interesting, funny, charming, whatever. I'm a lost cause.
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post #8 of 49
4/23/02 at 3:27pm
I am godawful at flirting unless it's with a current beau, then no problem.

When I was single (basically my entire life until 6 years ago or so) I had no idea how to do it, didn't think anyone would be interested anyway, and couldn't tell if I was being flirted with to save my life (I had no idea Johnny was flirting with me and vice versa, lol). There have only been 3 occasions where it was obvious a guy was flirting with me and they ended not so well.

The few lame attempts when I have tried to flirt with someone were inevitably ruined due to my being a complete geek and mentioning video games or horror or books or not knowing how to speak to other humans due to too much horror or video games or books.

I also could never pick up on a response to my weak flirting quick enough, and usually came off as uninterested. This has all been debunked by Johnny however as it seems every time I talked about blood and guts or Clive Barker he loved it, though I still never realized he was flirting with me (blantant saucy post on the boards did not count until after we hooked up) until much later.
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post #9 of 49
4/23/02 at 5:19pm
"didn't think anyone would be interested anyway"

Why is it that some of the more interesting people I've met have had that thought for large chunks of their lives?
Is it high school & associated things? That anybody smart, creative, or witty is automatically an outcast and there consider themselves unwantable?
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post #10 of 49
4/23/02 at 5:27pm
That's one of the biggest problems with high school. Smart, creative people simply evaporate or melt into the walls. At the beginning of my freshmen year, they were everywhere. Now, I couldn't find a girl with some substance to save my life.

As for flirting, my first and last attempt ended with me talking about communism. Don't ask.
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post #11 of 49
4/23/02 at 7:00pm
Communism? Ok, thats interesting. Yeah, just give up Coyote.
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post #12 of 49
4/23/02 at 7:21pm
Quote:
Bluntmatt:
I suck at flirting. For one, I never come up with a good line to introduce myself to a girl. And even when I talk to a girl, I'm never at ease and am unable to make myself look interesting, funny, charming, whatever. I'm a lost cause.
"Beaux souliers..."
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post #13 of 49
4/23/02 at 8:33pm
Quote:
LlamaRama:
That's one of the biggest problems with high school. Smart, creative people simply evaporate or melt into the walls. At the beginning of my freshmen year, they were everywhere. Now, I couldn't find a girl with some substance to save my life.
Oh that wasn't the case back when I was in high school. The people who were creative/smart/interesting, otherwise "different", were very noticeable either by their look or the fact that the "in" kids were always screaming "freak" at volumes which could break the sound barrier. Even if you didn't want to be noticed it was mostly tough not to be.

The strange thing though, was that the kids who seemed like I might have something in common with were totally different people who just wanted to act like they had interests in strange subjects or the "underground".

One of the disatrous relations I had with one of the few people who flirted with me was one of these people.

He called me everyday and bought me stuff like candy and made me goofy pictures and always seemed interested in the stuff I was into but he turned out to be a stoner who was pretty and had a decent sense of fashion. Once we were "officially" going out he pretty much ignored me. He was into nothing more than pot, bad music, and his hair (!!!). Maybe he just enjoyed courting people.

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post #14 of 49
4/23/02 at 8:37pm
Thread Starter 
Ok...starting next week, Coyote & I will be teaching Flirting 101.

Frenchmen up in front please...
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post #15 of 49
4/23/02 at 10:13pm
Quote:
girlcreeture:
Oh that wasn't the case back when I was in high school. The people who were creative/smart/interesting, otherwise "different", were very noticeable either by their look or the fact that the "in" kids were always screaming "freak" at volumes which could break the sound barrier. Even if you didn't want to be noticed it was mostly tough not to be.

The strange thing though, was that the kids who seemed like I might have something in common with were totally different people who just wanted to act like they had interests in strange subjects or the "underground".
The problem is in my school "different" is synonymous with "pothead". (Actually, come to think of it, "high school student" is basically synonymous with "pothead" too.) Over time, all the creative/smart/interesting people melted into fringe groups (which are usually just as shallow as the in-crowd) or became part of the in-crowd. In both cases, the formerly-interesting people pretty much became boring stereotypes. There are very few people with any visible depth left on either side or in between, and then because of the insane cliqueishness of high school and my own social inadequecies, it's nearly impossible to meet the few exceptions. All in all, it's very stupid.
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post #16 of 49
4/23/02 at 10:26pm
I'm shocked and dismayed at the showing from the French team. Gallic women are superb flirts. Italian women are tough; Germans are easy; English wait until introduced, then get all slutty; Greek women don't exist, and the Swedes are insatiable.

I've gotten terribly lazy at reading the cues. Eye contact has become the extent of my immediate perception. When I returned from Europe, I was good at reading hair flips and the like. But I've lapsed back into Canada, I've become my shy old self. Concerned with being non-descript around girls—forced back into highschool mode, I should think.

[too much information and absolute shite grammar]

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post #17 of 49
4/24/02 at 1:17am
I'm sort of the same way, only I do pick up on the flirting...it's just that I'm so used to everybody flirting with everybody, that I miss when it's gone from casual flirting to serious without a serious clue from her.
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post #18 of 49
4/24/02 at 2:53pm
My flirting skills are pretty rusty. There were times when I was younger when I was pretty good at it though. I had a stretch my senior year in college where almost all my shirt sleeves had lipstick on them, from wiping it off my face.

But in the last few years I have become more and more of a hermit, and I am out of practice. Also, I have a harder time recognizing clues, like Xymog was saying. These days I practically need to be smacked in the face to believe that a girl is actually interested in me.
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post #19 of 49
4/24/02 at 3:10pm
Quote:
girlcreeture:
I am godawful at flirting unless it's with a current beau, then no problem.

When I was single (basically my entire life until 6 years ago or so) I had no idea how to do it, didn't think anyone would be interested anyway, and couldn't tell if I was being flirted with to save my life...

The few lame attempts when I have tried to flirt with someone were inevitably ruined due to my being a complete geek and mentioning video games or horror or books or not knowing how to speak to other humans due to too much horror or video games or books.

I also could never pick up on a response to my weak flirting quick enough, and usually came off as uninterested...
This sounds exactly like me! Except I was (still am?) more into sci-fi/fantasy than horror. Maybe there's hope for me after all?
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post #20 of 49
4/24/02 at 4:12pm
*checks out Jennifer's profile for more information to give examples of why there's hope for her yet*
*doesn't find much, except a glaring one, the birthdate*
Dearheart, I can barely remember when I was your age.* You've just hit the age where you're not limited to where you can go for a night-life, too.
And yes, girls into sci-fi and horror are very sexy. It shows they have a brain.

*Literally. The amnesia hit right before I turned 21.
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post #21 of 49
4/24/02 at 4:35pm
[quote]Jennifer:
Quote:
Maybe there's hope for me after all?
Hella yeah there's hope! Just think about how Johnny and I met and you just know there is.

Meeting the right people are always situations that are going to happen when you least expect them, which sounds so cliche but it's absolutely true. Before I realized Johnny was the ONE for me, I was somewhat lamenting that I would be alone forever because I'd never meet anyone who I fit with (I had also broken up with my fiance/boyfriend of 5 years about 7 months previously too, so I was in and out of "Life is poop" mode and "Yippee I'm single!" mode).

Now everyday is "Yippee Johny's makin dinner tonight!" mode
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post #22 of 49
4/24/02 at 4:59pm
Hey, you're only with him because you met him before you met me.

Otherwise, I would have met him first, and he'd be mine.

(Don't worry, JB, I'm kidding.)

PS: Hastur's father is gone, and she now has a job. We're getting closer to the point where I can bludgeon her into making that Anne Bolyen doll for you, GC.
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post #23 of 49
4/24/02 at 5:25pm
Ah, so Hastur is still around. I was begining to think the unthinkable might have happened, you hadn't mentioned her in so long. Whew!

"Woohoo Johnny's makin' dinner tonight?". Not tonight, baby. Or ever again.

I used to be damn good at flirting. Had man an ex girlfriend get mucho pissed at me because I flirted far too often. I've outgrown it now, but if you ever see me with my female friends, girls I've known for almost ten years, you'd think we were going to go boink at any second. The Creeture's never seen it, so I'm safe. For now.
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post #24 of 49
4/25/02 at 4:00am
Oh, she's still around. It's her boyfriend's health I'm not sure about...he's always exhausted. He looks worse than me.

(I am SO dead.)
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post #25 of 49
4/26/02 at 3:32pm
I wouldn't recognize if someone was flirting with me if she held up a sign. I'm not the most social creature on the planet.
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post #26 of 49
4/26/02 at 4:14pm
Big fan of flirting, although with my significant other, I've had to pretty well give it up, as I have (had?) this horrible habit of once I realize I'm "in", full wolf/pursuit mode kicks in, and it's extremely difficult to shut it down until I've achieved the goal (ie, sex).

But I can't really give tips, I guess I just treat women with respect and see where the conversation goes - and if it starts going well, my rapier-like wit and faux "come-ons" usually at least get them to be AMUSED by me, if not romantically interested.

Best moment was talking to someone one night, and she said something about a stiff back, which I proceeded to give a quick rub to; I then queried as to whether or not she needed a "frontrub", to which she applied in the affirmative. I gave her a very nice front(among other places)rub later that evening.
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post #27 of 49
4/28/02 at 3:41am
I'm good with the flirting. Less so with the follow up. I guess it explains why I've been single for the past two years. frown
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post #28 of 49
4/28/02 at 2:45pm
Thread Starter 
Well, I think I am the other extreme. I probably flirt too much, which is why I usually wind up in situations that I should not be in (ie leading people on too far).

But I just enjoy it so much

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post #29 of 49
4/28/02 at 5:48pm
I generally flirt with girls I'm comfortable with, but it is so obvious that it can't be taken as serious. I don't know if it can really be called flirting. I can't really tell when girls are flirting with me unless they go overboard too. This has been a problem in the past because I can't tell if a girl is interested in me for the life of me. Well, most of the time anyway.

I actually told a girl once that " a girl has to practically hit me over the head and drag me away by the short hairs before I know what's going on." And later that night that's practically what she had to do, and she told me I wasn't kidding when I said that.
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post #30 of 49
4/28/02 at 9:48pm
Are you a flirt?
is the pope old and catholilc?

Do you flirt with everyone or just specific people?
I *think* I only flirt with specific people, but I think a lot of my general nature could be misinterpreted as flirting (see: guys who like me and i don't)

What does your SO think about you flirting (if you have one)?
He says he gets jealous. But we've only been going out a short while, so I'm not sure yet. A lot of my friends are male, and that doesn't bug him. And I act super friendly with my female friends, and that doesn't bug him....so......

How do you feel about other people that flirt alot?
I hate it when girls do the dumb flirt thing, or guys do the dumb flirt thing. Flirt with intelligence, and I'm happy.

Has flirting ever gotten you into trouble?
(see: boys liking me that i don't)

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post #31 of 49
4/28/02 at 10:44pm
Quote:
prala:
is the pop old and catholilc?
No.

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post #32 of 49
4/28/02 at 10:46pm
fine. fixed. nayh
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post #33 of 49
4/28/02 at 11:16pm
"Flirt with intelligence, and I'm happy."

A girl after my own heart.

Well, not literally. That would be Hastur. With a spoon.
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post #34 of 49
4/29/02 at 12:31am
Quote:
Old Man Coyote:
That would be Hastur. With a spoon.
a spoon?
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post #35 of 49
4/29/02 at 2:00pm
Quote:
prala:
Quote:
Old Man Coyote:
That would be Hastur. With a spoon.
a spoon?
ouch! I bet it's not a grapefruit spoon, either. Nice, dull tablespoon...
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post #36 of 49
4/29/02 at 6:32pm
I never know when someone is flirting with me. I can usually joke around with someone and keep it light but I am definately not a closer.

I also have trouble with seeing someone attractive, you make eye contact with her from across the room or store or wherever, you occasionally check her out and find that she was looking at you then glanced away. Does this mean she might like me or is she just staring at me cause I am not wearing any pants?
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post #37 of 49
4/30/02 at 12:41pm
Quote:
TheRealSnausage:
.Does this mean she might like me or is she just staring at me cause I am not wearing any pants?
do you have a habit of not wearing pants in public?
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post #38 of 49
4/30/02 at 2:15pm
...er...no...not at all...why do you ask?
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post #39 of 49
4/30/02 at 3:09pm
well you mentioned it first
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post #40 of 49
4/30/02 at 3:25pm
I didn't mean to write down the whole "no pants" part. I apologize
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post #41 of 49
4/30/02 at 3:42pm
Ok, this is odd. A-kon's a month away, and the flirting has already begun over email with two seperate friends who'll be there.
Flirting by email is a whole nuther ball of wax. I'm assuming that, with the folks on boards at least, it's just as prevelent as rl...you guys ever flirt via email or chat?
As in an exchange, not just lavishing attention on female board members wink
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post #42 of 49
4/30/02 at 4:32pm
Oh now that's totally different from real life. I flirt on AIM all the time, and occasionally in the chat room! hehehe
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post #43 of 49
4/30/02 at 4:34pm
Thread Starter 
I flirt online just the same as in real life. So as much as people see me flirt here/email/chat...I am just as bad in real life wink
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post #44 of 49
5/4/02 at 12:32am
I kinda steer away from girls who flirt too much. Heart doesnt flirt, so I never had that problem. But yeah, Im not really a flirt either. I dont think I know how to flirt with someone other then Heart, and that kinda flirting is normal.
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post #45 of 49
5/4/02 at 1:31am
Thread Starter 
I hope you realize that you just made yourself a target wink
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post #46 of 49
5/5/02 at 1:45am
A target for.....?
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post #47 of 49
5/5/02 at 9:24am
So, Shelby, who lives in Dallas and likes people in weird clothes, are you going to A-kon?
Inquiring minds owe you brownies.
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post #48 of 49
8/9/02 at 3:30pm
Resurrected for the newer chewers to give input.
(noticing a trend?)
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post #49 of 49
8/9/02 at 8:57pm
i don't think i flirt very well. i mean i have no trouble going up and asking someone a question or asking to have my pic taken with them (i do this often and did it last night), but i'm not flirting. they might think i am, but i'm not. if i am flirting there is a TON of eye contact, light touching, lots of smiles, and other subtle gestures.

i'm afraid to go up to people in a "come on" manner cause i figure they are not interested. i figure i scare them. so it almsot always takes someone coming up to me, or someone mutual introducing us.

i'm also not the type of person who thinks that just because someone walks past me more than once they are interested. even if someone talks to me i still don't think the are flirting with me. i just prefer to not make those assumptions. saves face in the long run.

and i never make anything of waiters talking to me. i carry on whole conversations with waiters on purpose, and never once do i think they are flirting with me.
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