A prayer:
Dear God,
Next they are all going to want to take out "one nation" and "indivisible" because saying so associates them with undesirable groups of people against their will.
Why recite a Pledge of Allegiance at all? I mean, doesn't that make them responsible to that which they pledge their allgiance? Oh no, we can't have that! And while we're at it, let's go ahead and just all admit that the Constitution is unconstitutional, because it discriminates against foriegners under 35 years of age. My 20 year old Hindu friend really wants to be President. I've talked many other people as well, and that whole "under God" thing is really bothering them. C'mon God, why do you have to keep pushing the Man down? You're holding us all back from enjoying true freedom, God. Hey, I saw Minority Report, so I know exactly what I'm talking about. People are smart, and we don't need a big government telling us what to do. Then we would be truly free. You know, Anrachy really gets a bad rap.
Anyway, reciting a pledge doesn't mean anything. I wonder if it should...? yeah, but there's people that don't believe in anything but themselves. God knows, the aethiests and the relativists, and the anrchists were the backbone of this country at its formation, and they still are today. God bless 'em. Oh, well if they cared or believed about something higher than themselves, you could bless them, but I guess you'd better not. After all, being present in their lives would deny them their right to stand alone, without interference from an invisible being. America is supposed to be indivisible, yet we have all these factions within society warring against each other. I guess they just meant state lines, huh? 'Cuz this is all democracy in action! Speaking of action, God, how come the State can have an influence over religion, but Religion can't influence the State? I mean, what about the polygamists in Utah? The state says that's a felony. But that was part of the Mormon tradition! Yet, when faith comes to the Capitol, it gets shot down as unconstitutional! America is a messed up place, God. People ahve put so much faith in themselves, knowing full well that they are incapable of securing the kind of "perfect union," and "domestic tranquility" that they claim to promote in the Preamble. I saw Minority Report, I should know. So basically, what America is saying, God, is that saying your name violates everything we stand for, which is ourselves. So we're unified in the fact that we all want to be separate. Pretty neat, huh, God?
Well, thanks for your time. I won't be able to write again, because I'm infringing on the rights of the people who read this. What, God? Yeah, they could just skip over it. What's that? If they didn't participate, they'd be singled out? Oh yeah...Well, if they don't want to be singled out, then why are they standing up so tall to kill the pledge?
Anyway, God, I'm just going to go ahead and post this ultimately fruitless bit, for which I'll be ridiculed and labeled, because everyone knows that "truth" doesn't exist.
So, God, in closing this prayer, I'd just like to say that America is great. I'm secure enough in my Freedom that I don't need every little detail taken care of for me by the Government. I can discern for myself. There are a lot of people like me, God, who are content in the exercise of their own personal freedom, who do not need to legislate every aspect of life to be happy and free, who recognize that everyone is different without having to be told by a bunch of faraway politicians. Please bless those who aren't, um, "fortunate" enough to know that. And bless tradition, Lord, without which we would have little to celebrate about our nation. It is because our nation was established on such a foundation as faith in a greater being that we have stood the test of time. It is because our nation represents the core values, if in name only, to which you teach us to aspire.
So thanks, God, for a great nation. Nay, a great WORLD.
Just destroy it before it gets too stupid, ok?
Amen