I was raised a Catholic, Rath. I attended Catholic school through the eighth grade. I was an altar boy as a child, and my first professional dream was, like many others, of joining the priesthood.
It's been a long, long time since I've been a practicing Catholic. In the years since, I have studied Buddhism and various New Agey-Wiccan type practices, and even pursued a conversion to Judaism (as you might suspect, a chick was involved) but through most of that time, have lived as a pretty firmly agnostic individual. (The advantages to Buddhism and Wicca to someone like myself being that, whatever other mushy-headed notions they might encompass, there was no requirement to believe in an actual deity, and in Judaism there was always way more fuss over things like dietary restrictions and foreskin to actually even care whether you believed in the God who was supposedly handing out these rules.)
Today, I would describe my religious stance as straddling the line between pure agnosticism and a Deism sort of along the lines of the religious beliefs of Jefferson and Aristotle. I do believe in a God that created the universe. And I do pray, though I'm not very hopeful that my prayers are actually heard. I'm even open to the concept that there may be something beyond this life, though I'm quite leery of the Hallmark card ways it is usually presented. Beyond that, with regard to most religious claims, I am about as skeptical as I am with regard to tales of sprites and faeries or big foot monsters that lurk beyond the grasp of zoologists or that aliens are visiting us regularly or that the stars are an appropriate medium for predicting the future. In other words, COMPLETELY skeptical.
But, still....
I think on some levels, if you were once a Catholic, you will always BE a Catholic. Like alcoholism, I don't think it is something you can just wake up from one day, but rather a deep-seated disposition that sticks with you all your life.
And unlike alcoholism, I'd say this is, on balance, a good thing.
I am by no means an apologist for the entire history of the Catholic Church, and I think there is no question that it has, over two milennia, wrought much havoc in the world. The Crusades, the Inquisition, the purges of the Counter Reformation -- all are ugly chapters in the history of Catholicism.
But I think, by the same token, we must compare such episodes in contrast with what would have happened had Catholicism NOT prospered. Were the Christian Romans any more vicious than their pagan forebears? Absolutely not. Were the Crusades any less bloody than the Mongol hordes or the secular Blitzkrieg? Again, no. Man is a complex animal, capable of much viciousness, and no large institution of man, be it church or state, is immune from the folly of those that compose it.
But Catholicism HAS brought about two ideals that have come to be prized for which I think the world is forever indebted to it. The first is the concept of reason and rational inquiry as being part and parcel of religious the religious experience. It is through the church that scholarship -- including scholarship of some voices, like Aristotle, which would seem quite hostile to its very foundation -- was able to be preserved through the long, dark days of the Middle Ages. Without the prolific copying and archiving of invaluable works of philosophy, poetry, drama and literature by the church elders, there may never have been a new Age of Enlightenment to bring us to the treasures we enjoy today.
Further, through the thoughts of such esteemed Catholic saints as Aquinas, Augustin, and Thomas Moore, we have the foundations of liberal western philosophy that regards logic as a science and science, itself, as a virtue. Undoubtedly the church has had its days of difficulty with some scientific discoveries -- notably Gallileo, Copernicus, Darwin, et al -- as have all Christian faiths. But I think it is this deep-seated commitment to logic and reason that have allowed it to, EVENTUALLY, come to grips with each new discovery as a PART of God's plan, rather than ONLY being able to view them, forever and for always, as an alien doctrine that must be the spawn of Satan. It heartens me that John Paul II is able to endorse the Theory of Evolution as established fact in an age when so many American Christians unfortunately still crave the days of the Flat Earth Society.
The other important idea that I believe has been brought to the world is one that many might question, on its face, because it tends to seem contradictory to the stern nature of Catholic dogma. And it might very well be, but I still regard it as a vital part of Catholic CULTURE. That is, the idea that pleasure, itself, is a good.
For all the fire and brimstone of the Church, one thing cannot be denied about those nations that embrace Catholicism compared to those who have followed Luther's protest -- the Catholics know how to have a better time. Wine, food, song, dancing, art, sport. These have all long been as much prized as the ultimate experiences in life in Catholic countries as they are demonized as the works of Satan in Protestant countries. Whatever the hang-ups of Catholic clergy, there has never been a movement toward puritanism among lay Catholics. In the Protestant faiths, virtually the exact opposite is true.
So, yeah, Rath, I hear what you're saying, and I, too, tend to feel that twinge of offense when I hear excessive Catholic-bashing, and particularly bashing of John Paul II, who I regard as the man of the century. The fact that I came into the church as a child around the same time as his ascension to the papacy probably has quite a lot to do with how my outlook on life evolved. Among my earliest memories are watching in class a much more sprightly John Paul than we see today standing up to the Communists and praising Lech Walesa and the Solidarity movement.
I remember learning about the first saint that he canonized, St. Martin Kolbe, a Polish priest who was martyred at Auschwitz, who counseled those with substance abuse problems, and who agitated, contrary to the Church's official position at the time, for use of Radio Vatican to broadcast the message of the horrors the Germans were perpetuating. He was named patron saint of journalists, drug addicts, and political dissidents. Over the course of my life, I've had occasion to call myself all three.
I learned from his teachings that we should be tolerant of other faiths and especially do anything in our power to help the Jews where they are oppressed, for they were Jesus' people (I later took this to mean helping them with excellent cunnilingus skills, which is probably not what he had in mind, but we each do what we can.)
I learned from him that we should always seek peace, and be wary of those who call for war.I learned from him that ultimate forgiveness is possible. He could even forgive the man who tried to kill him.
He taught that is possible to both be a man of peace, and a man of strength. There have been very few to follow in those footsteps, unfortunately. These have been among the most important lessons in my life, and I find them ever more important in the uncertain days we face today.
So, yeah, though the division between myself and the church's teachings on so many issues is still as strong as it ever was, I guess it comes down to this.
No matter what I do, where I go, what I ultimately believe, on some level, I'm still a Catholic. Always have been, always will be.
And since he's so anti-Catholic, what the fuck does he know about it anyway?
