Another Half-Life 2 Rhyme, by Cheese Biscuits
I done ripped my pants.
The goo has burst inside.
I could contain it no longer.
The size I could not hide.
The screens above made me happy.
Nay, the screen they made me more.
I want those screens back in my bed.
So I can appease my wild boar.
It cannot be contained.
No, it cannot be happy.
That is, unless only Half Life 2
Gives it a good "slappy".
Maybe I'm taking this too far,
With all the sexual innuendo.
It's just a video game, damnit.
A game that won't come to Nintendo.
Nay, from within the voices say!
It is so much more than a game!
It's a fighter, a lover, a beast to obey!
That gives me a pleasure, no dictionary can name!
So love it, I say!
Let your manhood’s ride high!
Half Life 2 is coming!
Naysayers eat cock and die!