Who's from Kansas?

I am! Are you? Speak up Kansans, and be proud you're not from Oklahoma!

Or something.

Hey, you're not from Kansas!

My hometown was an official Tree City, USA town. You're thinking of Western Kansas, or North Oklahoma, as some might call it.

"Do you know what 'nemesis' means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this instance by an 'orrible cunt... me!"

Bring it on okie! Braaaang it oooooownnn!

This is the most ridiculous border war I've ever been a part of. And I like it! I can't stop laughing at the picture of trees. That is such a curveball, in terms of a debate tactic, that I can't even see straight. Thanks Kid Ego, I now have respect for at least one Sooner.

I'll buy you a beer. Just as soon as you get off'n your cousin. Oof!

Now, to go find a tree to take a picture of...

I think your lying about the Oklahoma trees. Nothing grows in clay.

And was that your cousin who just chimed in with you?

You wish you lived in Kansas.

I guess y'all in Okla. plant crops in between the trees, eh? At least we feed the world, instead of just giving Texans someplace to aspire to.

And yes, I've heard all the women in Okla. are bitches. We have keep the babes for ourselves.

Now the truth comes out. Will you be looking at trees on the way? I know Coffeyville has a tree or two.

And Tulsa was how high on the Cleanest City list last year? At least I admit that Topeka sucks ass. Southeast Kansas is a pit, I'll give you that. Head about 40 miles north on Highway 75 and you'll run into my hometown. It's the armpit of the state. I moved away long ago.

But Oklahoma is still worse.

I'm waiting for some of my Kansas brethren to come help me defend our sacred home.

Never mind, I'm going to bed.

<img src="http://shorock.com/arts/micheaux/redbuds.jpg" alt="" />

Actual Kansas trees.

<img src="http://www.nwk.usace.army.mil/perry/gif/paradise_small.jpg" alt="" />

<img src="http://www.nwk.usace.army.mil/pomona/gif/falltower2_small.jpg" alt="" />

<img src="http://www.naturalkansas.org/images/bench2.jpg" alt="" />

Well, I bow down to Tulsa's glory as a "clean" city, but I think the tree thing can be put to rest. Eat it tree boy.

Well, from the great multitudes of Okies on these boards, I'm starting to think that you're all huddled around the same computer. At least the Kansans on the boards are off doing something else. Probably in Kansas. The pics weren't hard to find, but I do not get this tree fascination. Is that all Oklahoma has going for it? Kansas has wheat. Why are trees better than wheat?

And, I gave up on KU a while back. They've had too many injuries this year. They will, however, go as far as OU in the tournament. Bank on it.

No reason to be happy about that. The only good thing about Topeka for me is that it's 20 minutes from Lawrence. Oh, and the Northstar Steakhouse.

The pianist is finally playing at the Westridge 6. I need to see that movie.

Burned out on Lawrence? Freestate Brewery is like a second home to me. Especially on Monday nights - half priced draws on some of their beers.

I like the new Bullfrog's, but the old place was never my favorite hangout.

Interesting pictures. I doubt those few artifacts describe what Coffeyville is really like though. There is a nice little community college there that produces some excellent football players.

That reminds me of something though. Have you ever been to Pittsburgh, PA? It is one of the ugliest cities I've ever seen, what with the abandoned steel mills at every turn. That whole city looks like a rusty, burned out mess. But, it is consistently voted one of the cleanest cities in the US. So go figure. Clean don't mean green all the time.

Dude, I was waiting for you to chime in on this. I'm not saying it's great, but shit, what else should it be? No harsh winters, very few guns being shoved in my face on a daily basis. That's about all I want. The film situation is crap, but I'm not moving to fucking California for that.

Point by point:

Winter is only bad when you are in it. It's spring time now.

Wannabee gangsters are still not gangsters, and Kansas rednecks are easily controllable. They're all cowards at heart. I'd just as soon ship them all off to Mississippi.

Emporia women are ugly, it's an ugly fucking town and you should be ashamed for settling there. Visit Lawrence and tell me Kansas women are ugly.

I can't help you with the television. Satellite dishes are available, I've heard. I admit the movie situation sucks. I embrace my video release schedule more than the theater schedule.

DSL? It's the same price as a cable modem, and not as fast.

Country music is the most vile thing I can ever hope to imagine. Hank Williams and Patsy Cline must be spinning in their graves. Avoid it. That's what I do. All radio sucks anyway.

The job market for English majors ALWAYS sucks. Film majors in Kansas have a better chance to stand out on average than those in California. Niche markets are all the rage now. Sam Raimi and the Coen Brothers grew out of the "booming" Michigan film industry. Fuck, movies are being made in Australia because it's cheaper, why the fuck can't they all go to Western Kansas instead?

People give flat, dull and drab a bad name. Think of it as a blank canvas, like the Nevada Desert. Some interesting things have been done with that place. Kansas is an empty space in a world with far too few empty spaces. Emptiness can be filled, eventually.

Kansas is seen as the middle of nowhere by people on the coasts. It's boring, it's not close to anything remotely interesting. Bullshit. I've met dozens of people from other countries who come here to avoid the East Coast/West Coast chaos. My best friend in the world hated living here every minute of her young life, and when she finally moved to D.C. to get away from it, a year later she was begging to come back.

The real people of the world live in the Midwest. Besides, as you are about to find out in Jamaica, one of the world's most beautiful/ugly places, choosing to live in the most exciting and entertaining city/state/country you can imagine leaves you no place to go on a vacation.

That's funny, I thought something similar the first time I was in there. I'm glad to hear the old Bullfrog's is less crowded. I'm not exactly top sirloin in the meat market, if you know what I mean. Too many pretty people make it hard for me to drink comfortably. I like the new place because of the little jazz club on the side. Cheap live music is what I'm all about.

Well, you can't use the Wizard of Oz jokes. Those are ours. But you can still go with the trailer park/tornado angle.

I don't think of Nebraska as a funny place. Sorry.

Prologue:

I don't mean to come off as Mr. "Yay! Kansas!". I know this state is pretty fucked up. But I'm here, I've always been here, and for the most part I don't have to think about it very much. It's cheap and easy. With the internet, I don't bitch about the availability of products and toys I want anymore. I am able to live the life I want without much interference. I could go anywhere I choose, but I can also just stay. If I do one of the two things that interest me most, either try to make a living as a writer or open a restaurant, I can be just as successful at that here as anywhere. For the most part, Kansas doesn't get in my way. That's why I love it.

Oops. That wasted a lot of space.

That's cool man. I didn't start this thread to say how wonderful Kansas is, but I kinda got dragged into that in a joking way by Kid Ego. I was mostly just trying to see who was on the boards from around here. Obviously we go out of our way to enjoy movies despite the lousy accessibility. I'm glad there is some interest.

Otis, that's the club I'm talking about. I think Sunday night is open mike night. I was fairly impressed at the variety of talent up there. Who knew Topeka had a local music scene? I imagine it is crowded on show nights. One blues act from KC is pretty popular when they play there. I'd like to see more local venues for music, it is obviously in demand. As long as there's some good brew and no violence, I'll hang out.

Thanks for posting, D.B. I also lived in Wichita during the period from '90-'95, or what I like to call the reason for my 10-year student loan payment plan. I love great segments of Wichita, and my dad and sister still live there. I would move back if I could find work there, but I make a decent living in Topeka now, which is hard to give up. Check out Walt's Bar and Grill on West Central. My sis is the bartender and my pop is the loud guy who shoots pool.

I realized tonight when I drove by that Jules is not the club I'm talking about. Bullfrog's has a dance club inside it that has live music every week. That Jules place doesn't look too good to me. I've heard they cater to a more well-dressed crowd to which I don't belong.