Oklahoma chewers

The Taro is of course in Tulsa. That's Mr. Momo Taro to you you lipstick-wearing felch monkey.

Who's pleasure? Last time I checked, I was the one who bought the support hose for someone's little fireman fantasy.

People are going to start wondering just what the hell we do in Oklahoma...

Spit terbaccy and drinking well water. Actually, my grandmother is still using well water, and even though it was a taste to it, it's actually not too bad.

We're still the only ones in here. Is there no other Oklahoma chewers out there? Come on people!

No nakedness without the Koyaanisqatsi! OK representin'.

One more Oklahoma chewer here. But judging from your conversation, I don't know if I want to claim it anymore. Only kidding. Well water is fine- at least we don't have to burn oil for heat like them damn yankies(not the Ted Nugent spinoff group). Ahem, ever hear of a thing called natural gas?

Well, let's see.

Cow Chip tossing was invented there.
Those rubber boots with the straps on front for the back legs of sheep was invented there. Or was that West Virginia? I get the two places mixed up.

I heard once that all computers in Oklahoma have Playskool written on the side of them, but I am not convinced that is true. I think some say Hasbro or Mattel.

Let's see Texas is so damned windy because Okalahoma sucks, I remember learning that in Texas.

Hmmmmmmmm CHUDOkalahoma might not be such a hot idea after all!

I was in Oaklahoma once. Doing about 90mph! wink

Sure, pick on us Will. Have your laugh.

By the way, how's the smog on in Cali?

I'm two hours away from Tulsa so you can count me in as being close enough.

Fucking pervs.

The Oklahoma thread is RULING THE MIDWEST BOARD!

FUCK YEAH!

Hells yes!

Uh, wait... what are we cheering for? There's only, like, five of us on here.

But hey, that's good enough for this Momotaro!

Joplin, MO., Martha.

Does anyone else have sexual dreams involving Will Rogers?

Do we? Who doesn't?
"I never met a man I didn't like."

Ahhhhh!
-fap fap fap fap fap fap-

What is S.M.O.G.? And BTW, pardner, I don't trust no air I cain't see. See?

Momo, I have to admit it is tought here in California, especially here in SoCal. Let's examine it shall we?

1. SoCal Average winter high temp. 68 to 70.
Average winer low temp about 55 to 65

Average summer high temp. 78 to 88 degrees OH, DID I FORGET TO MENTION OUR AVER HUMIDITY IS AROUND 22%? Sorry about that.

Average low summer temps. 65 to 75 degrees.

Mexico=two hours from LA.

Mountains with snow = 2 hours or less

Desert with river to play in = one hour

Beaches = less than thirty minutes, OH SHIT, I'M SORRY! A beach is a place where there is sand and water from the actual ocean comes up and laps onto the sand and many, many lovely women in very small stingy things that barely cover their breasts and that go right up the crack of their bu, well you get the idea. THAT is a beach.

We have places to eat that DON'T have peanut shells or straw on the ground, as well as few that do, just like in Oklahoma.

We have these rises in the ground that are actually quite large. They are called hills and mountains and when you finally see some of them you will be in awe.

We actually have these tall green things that grow here that are called trees. They are lovely.

Now get this part (its my favorite) We actually have so many beautiful women out here, cause see the girls flock here from places like Oklahoma and other backwards places, for a chance to meet guys who have NEVER raised a farm animal nor had sex with the same. I know that is a somewhat a revolutionary idea with the folks back in Leaky Springs or Tater Tot, Oklahoma, or whereever, but I swear its true. Most guys here have never owned a sheep named Buttercup nor asked her to go to the prom with them. IT'S TRUE! I swear it.

You know what? It has never snowed here so we don't ever have to drive in it. Nobody here drives a tractor to school. We have ffod other than BBQ and we even have this weird stuff called FRESH seafood and its really good.

I amnot sure we have ever had a tornado here in my lifetime, but we have had a few decent earthquakes. One time we had six people die in one of those, out of twenty-two millon in the state. I uess that is a lot less than a single twister can claim, right?

We do have some smog, although just a fraction of what was here twenty years ago, of cousre we don't have oil refineries or animal rendering plants here, like you have back there.

Sounds terrible.

Yeah, horrible.

Guess I'll just hang out here in Texas, with Katanga. Scorching hot, tornado plagued, stunted tree Texas.

Wait...

Well, befor we start getting into a flame war here(A little too late I think), I would like to take the opportunity to thank Will for his opinion.

California is a wonderfull state, and the entertainment captial of the world. Everybody wants to live in Cali because like you said, all the pretty girls, the sand, surf, and skiing one can do, all within hours of each other.

However, I would think the massive stories I hear about drive-by shootings, gang-bangers, bad attitudes, snobby assholes and L.A. traffic are more than enough to keep my country ass firmly planted in America's homeland. No offence buddy, but you have no idea about life in Oklahoma, much like I have no idea about California. So don't cast dispersions please. I don't want a flame war on Chud. AICN is where they belong.

Although I'd rather live in Texas, but that's just between the both of us...

That because we like to keep you all herded together in one place.

Next we can pull down your pants and brand you little doggies.

DO NOT FUCK WITH THE MAN! That's my hero you are talking about. You are from Mo. and you should know. Don't encouage the monkeys. Why do you think we keep them all locked up over in Okl, hahahahaha, Oklah,,, hahahahahaha, Oklahom, hahahahaha. Sorry, Oklahoma?

Its Oklahoma, Kid. Isn't that a rhetorical question? Oklahoma and exciting go together like Kevin Costner and character acting.

Is Burbank close to Wannabee, CA? You know, where all of the bartenders, waiters and "salespeople" live. I have friends there.

This Sweaterbydarwin fella...I like the cut of his jib.

My jib is always open to compliments.

Your jib is indeed cut very well.

It's practically right next door. Its worse here than in PKlahoma, any old day and I shit you not.

However, I am a sick ol guy, so I love it.

Momo, thanks for PM. I fuck with Oklahoma, but in all honesty I have spent a lot of time there. The people there are first rate in every way and I know there are dickheads in OK but they are everywhere. I kid, I kid, but in reality, I really do like OK and especially the people there, but don't tell anyone, OK. I wouldn't want to wreck my reputation.

Will, your secret is safe with me.

Only with you, Kid....

heh...

Woowee!

Suxx0rs to be them.