It's pretty evident that this guy has NO joy in his life...
Found it on Rotten Tomatoes..
Review by Mervius
I'm a big fan of Marvel Comics' "Spiderman" comic book, from way back in the distant 80s. I never subscribed to a single one of the various titles (e.g. "Amazing Spiderman" and "Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spiderman"), but if ol' Web-head showed up in one of the titles that I did read regularly, I knew I was gonna have a good read. This pleasure was two-fold. For one thing, in addition to saving all of humanity on a nearly-daily basis, he was a superhero that had real-life personal problems to deal with. Furthermore, he was funny. He was constantly making wise-cracks in the midst of intergalactic, supernatural, or pseudo-scientific battle.
When 2000's X-Men turned out as well as it did, I was heartened. I was shown that comic books can be translated (once again) to the big screen with remarkable integrity and respect. So I had some degree of hope for Spider-Man. Alas, it has served to make the disappointment all the more profound.
Spider-Man is often melodramatic to the point of discomfort. It's always awkward. And (perhaps the biggest crime) it's never awe-inspiring. At best, the film can be dismissed as serviceable popcorn-muncher fare. But I can't shut my brain off enough for what director Sam Raimi has done.
The movie just doesn't take itself seriously, ever. Willem Dafoe is ridiculously over the top as the Green Goblin. Kirsten Dunst doesn't seem to know what to do when the camera is on her. And the special effects/action sequences are cartoony, repetitive, and devoid of any sense of wonder. The filmmakers have chosen to give us absolutely no clue as to what it might feel like to be swinging through city streets at about a hundred miles an hour. I suspect it would be an intense rush, but over and over we're given CGI effects that are way too fluid to be organic, and the reality is blown (Jurassic Park, now nearly 9 years old, is immensely more convincing to the eye than what we've been getting lately from Hollywood). And there seems to be no interest here in providing the audience with the experience of intensity itself. We're given nothing to marvel at. Debate that point all you want, I sat there without a burst of adrenaline for the entire running time.
The script and editing are awkward. The dialogue is dumb. Spidey's trademark wisecracks repeatedly go thud. And it seems at times as though entire scenes have been omitted. Hey, how'd we get to them living together all of a sudden? When did she get a new job? Why is everybody suddenly getting along like chummy neighbors, when they haven't previously been shown to be so much as acquainted? The overall pace is frustratingly jerky. If timing is everything, then Spider-Man provides us with nothing.
I didn't mind the casting of Tobey Maguire (as Peter), Cliff Robertson (as Uncle Ben), and (as J. Jonah Jameson) J.K. Simmons. But Kirsten Dunst seems out of place. And Rosemary Harris as Aunt May just didn't work for me. Perhaps it's that British accent creeping through.
Neither the performances nor the screenplay work to making me care one iota what happens to anyone from one moment to the next. To make things worse, about two-thirds of the way through, the whole thing loses narrative momentum altogether. What exactly is the Green Goblin's motivation at THIS point? Does Mary Jane knows Spidey's secret identity NOW?
What's with all the inside jokes? A couple references to Superman seem pointless, even cheap. And the presence of all of the director's buddies (including Ted Raimi, Bruce Campbell, and even Lucy Lawless) makes this stuff a little too self-referential, as though he wants this to be a cult hit if nothing else. For instance, a section of "in-the-know" folks in my sneak preview audience applauded when Bruce Campbell appeared on screen. Others may drop their popcorn in order to scratch their heads at such behavior.
I can't for the life of me recommend this movie. Uneven and oddly paced, Spider-Man is overly reliant on CGI effects. And the characterizations just aren't there.
