All right bitches... the pain returns...

Thought I had left you, eh? I was on vacation at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas and it was one of the greatest trips of my life. Thought I would start a thread to welcome myself back and discuss Atlantis. It's real cool... it's got problems, but the overall resort is very shwank. Anyone been?

Oh, I'm still a little drunk from the past week as well as sunburned as an egg roasting in hell... so please excuse any load outbursts...

Well, first of all the place is HUGE. I mean, gargantuan.. which can be a problem many times. The layout of the place is confusing and the signs pointing where everything is are POORLY mapped out. I was looking for this restaurant called the Lagoon and I was following the signs... and they just led me in a circle for about an hour.

Another dislike is the restaurants. There aren't many of them. We ate at the same places for almost the entire week. There's one or two places near the beach you can eat at for lunch... but that's about it. There's only one place you can eat an informal dinner at... everywhere else requires a strict dress code and reservations. Oh, and the "Clubs" there suck balls.

Other than that (and the EXTREME PRICES of everything), it's great. It's GORGEOUS, it's got tons of fun slides, the beaches are great, the beer flows like blood, and the woman are hot.

One tip for anyone who wants to go there, though. Those people will do ANYTHING to get money out of your pants (or where ever else you keep your cash). They scam, they swindle, they flat-out rob you blind. And NEVER take a Taxi anywhere. Those are the biggest scum bags on the island and they will overcharge you till you're living in a freakin' box for the rest of your life.

And if you want beer… get it from outside the resort. We went to a liquor store and got everything we needed hella-cheaper than from inside Atlantis.

Still, it's a very fun, very cool place (the whole Atlantis theme is awesome... the detail they put into that place is amazing and breathtaking). A Cheese Biscuits recommended location.

Amen, brother. Amen.