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CHUD Late Night - Page 114

post #5651 of 5954
Here's to hoping!
post #5652 of 5954
For the record, I'm nowhere near balding, my hair is longer now than it has been in years.

I wish I still had time to cook. I make the awesomest vegetarian tacos. Meat eating friends marvel at the mighty power of these babies, both taste and after-effects, if you smell what I'm cookin...
post #5653 of 5954
I wish you still had time to cook, too. But not the Tacos. I don't want to be anywhere near you when you eat the tacos.
post #5654 of 5954
You got no room to complain there, anti-cookite.
post #5655 of 5954
Hey, cooking is his job. Baking is my job. Get it straight!

I must go back to inventing yummy taco flavored desserts for the Taco God--and come up with catchy names for them.
post #5656 of 5954
It'sa late. I'ma thinking that I should go to the beda.
post #5657 of 5954
Here's to hoping that I get NIN tickets in about 15 minutes.

Last show sold out in under 3 minutes.
post #5658 of 5954
Where are you seeing them, Chicago? And by the way, you suck. The closest venue for me is Denver, 600 miles away.
post #5659 of 5954
I've got a bad feeling about this...
post #5660 of 5954
Type fast, Michelle!
post #5661 of 5954
Fucked as I imagined...in under a minute no less!
post #5662 of 5954
I'm pissed and we got screwed. Hopefully Friday's sale won't go as badly.

I will kill people if it does!
post #5663 of 5954
Upon further investigation, only about 200 tickets were released for pre-sale. Chances of getting them on Friday are looking all the better!
post #5664 of 5954
Wow. My boss just got me semi-drunk knowing that I was the overnight person today. That was interesting.
post #5665 of 5954
Drunk in a semi?
post #5666 of 5954
Drunk in the Oyster Bar. I'm not working at the Taco God tonight, Billz. I only get drunk in semi's when the Gutter Slut girls go on the road anyway.
post #5667 of 5954
I assumed you were always drunk when you work the taco stand. The empty beer cans in the guacamole gave you away.
post #5668 of 5954
Damn, I didn't think anyone ever ordered the guacamole.
post #5669 of 5954
Fucked for NIN tickets again. I'm pissed.
post #5670 of 5954
That sucks. You'll have to haunt the call-in radio contests. I know people who get tickets all the time that way.
post #5671 of 5954
I know it. I even called off work while the President was in town in hopes of getting tickets.
post #5672 of 5954
Yeah, I hear the President throws a wicked concert.

What's everybody doing tonight? Billz? Social? Ego? Anybody?

What doin'?
post #5673 of 5954
We may have gotten steined on the tickets originally, but I've been told I'm going to have a most awesome birthday present--NIN tickets!!!!


Problem is: Am I very happy or sort of upset that she would spend money on an obscenely overpriced eBay auction?

More of the first and less of the second, thus far.
post #5674 of 5954
Only the finest of wenches would sacrifice so much (money) for so few (you) for so much (NIN).

Of course, the ante has been raised for her next birthday present from you. Start saving now!
post #5675 of 5954
Yeah, you might as well dip Dakota in solid gold and highlight his eyes with rubies for that kind of birthday gift.

Oh, and make sure the kid has some breathing holes after the gold solidifies...

Ok, I don't really know where I was going with that. It sounded good in my head and pretty moronic one down in text.
post #5676 of 5954
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momotaro
Ok, I don't really know where I was going with that. It sounded good in my head and pretty moronic one down in text.
But isn't it that way with most everything?
post #5677 of 5954
With me? Yes.

I also just found out I am fake. I had no idea until someone clued me in on it. Wow.
post #5678 of 5954
I'm not fake, but I am:

13% Minotaur
12.5% Irish, which means I'm also
8.9% alcohol
0.1% orange candle scent
36% wrong
29.5% butt.
post #5679 of 5954
Quote:
Originally Posted by billz
I'm not fake, but I am:

13% Minotaur
12.5% Irish, which means I'm also
8.9% alcohol
0.1% orange candle scent
36% wrong
29.5% butt.
I'm half German and half Hungarian...which means 100% stubborn. Ask Swykk, he'll be happy to agree.
post #5680 of 5954
No doubt. He's been waiting for you to cook some soy-schnitzel and tofu-goulash for him, because you are genetically programmed to do so by your heritage, but do you? Get in the kitchen, woman!
post #5681 of 5954
Haha! Take that, you Vegeterian. Me? I'm a Vagiterian. That's right. I'm all about the Ladies!!

*does lewd pelvic thrust*

Giggitygiggitygiggity!
post #5682 of 5954
*turns away in abject horror*
post #5683 of 5954
I'm mostly creole (a bit of everything) but dominantly 1/4 Italian. There's samoan in me too, which my brilliant friends have been known to call me:


A-tall-salmon (italian-samoan).

Isn't that humorous? I don't get it either...
post #5684 of 5954
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momotaro
Haha! Take that, you Vegeterian. Me? I'm a Vagiterian. That's right. I'm all about the Ladies!!

*does lewd pelvic thrust*

Giggitygiggitygiggity!
Damn it, Taro! You're scaring away the sex offenders! Put your pants back on, get out those boobie tassles, and entertain the soccer moms! I don't want to see you slacking again!!!!!!!!!


Damn Taco stand employees.......
post #5685 of 5954
As soon as Swykk gets off his break, we'll hit it hard chief!
post #5686 of 5954
Swykk cries his entire break away because he has no leftovers from the food Social refuses to cook for him.
post #5687 of 5954
My NIN tickets came in the mail today. They're so beautiful I want to cry.
post #5688 of 5954
Wow! I read almost this entire thread, (and boy, are my eyes tired), and it's lead me to a couple of conclusions:

A) I want tacos
B) Y'all are funny
C) I want tacos.......and piled with guacamole and sour cream.
D) is this a private club or is there room for one more?
post #5689 of 5954
Wow! If you read just about the entire thread, you are certainly in. Go see Billz for you assignment at the Taco stand.
post #5690 of 5954
Paging Mr. Billz. Paging Mr. Billz. Mr Billz to the white courtesy telephone.

(Crap! I hope this doesn't mean that I'll get stuck on drinks at the Taco stand)
post #5691 of 5954
Quote:
Originally Posted by J.K.Foster
Paging Mr. Billz. Paging Mr. Billz. Mr Billz to the white courtesy telephone.

(Crap! I hope this doesn't mean that I'll get stuck on drinks at the Taco stand)
Just being in charge of drinks is way too tame...unless you're serving them in edible underwear.
post #5692 of 5954
It's not too tame if he brings me a tequila, stat!
post #5693 of 5954
Hello prospective member of the Taco God Team!

Thank you for your interest in our little family. We are a collective of motivated human beings (and Kid Ego) striving for perfection in the upstrart world of horrible parking lot-based mexican food. Do you have what it takes to be a Taco God employee? That is a question many people have asked themselves over the ages (or at least since Swykk and Social started kissing). It is a question with many facets, countless possibilities, and unfathomable opportunities for failure and regret.

Our motto is a simple one: "Hey, don't eat that!"

Please take a few minutes to ask yourself the following questions. Answer each of them in a loud booming voice, preferably in a stranger's bathroom or crowded day care facility:

1. Can you love a God made of tacos?

2. If you say you love Taco God, is it a real love, or just a love based on your fear of what will happen to you when you die?

3. Can you dance around shirtless and pants-free with tassles hanging from your nipples? Eww.

4. Are you willing to learn the Taco God jingle? It has no words. It is basically a series of pain-filled shrieks induced by hot oil from the deep fryers splashing on the most tender parts of your arms and face. It takes practice, but you will find that screaming helps to block the pain after a while.

5. Are you easily aroused by the presence of filthy pornography filling your sight at every angle while you work? Momo is too.

If your answer to most of these questions is "Yeah, whatever," then you just might be the type of employee we have been waiting for. Prepare yourself for an adventure.

He is meat fluff. He rewards our devotion with salsa and roaches.

In Taco God's name we pray. Amen. Did you see the link for our merchandise? It's in this thread somewhere.

Oh, and say hello to Seahawk. He is the reason we are here.
post #5694 of 5954
I think I can safely say to all of these questions: "What? Are you high?", which I think almost translates into a "yeah, whatever".

FYI, I did answer all of the questions in a loud booming voice and my husband, (who was in the living room), started yelling, "Hey! What's going on in there? Are you okay?" So I think I was probably doing something right.

PS. I'll be happy to serve drinks, but I wasn't aware that drinks wore edible underware.
post #5695 of 5954
Spelling "underwear" as "underware" makes me think you have Assistant Management potential. Grab an apron, don't cough on the lettuce and please, please don't eat the food.
post #5696 of 5954
Crap! and I have a BA in English Literature too. Ain't that a bitch!



*slogs off to put on her management apron*
post #5697 of 5954
Welcome *J.K. Foster* as our newest employee of Taco God Inc.
If you would like to wear the offical uniform of Taco God, I would like to point your attention to this link and let you choose your best fit.

Remember, a happy employee is one barely covering the dress code.
post #5698 of 5954
I love that logo so damn much. I gotta get Ego to put up a T-Shirt in ash grey. I'm way too hard on the white T's. I'm probably gonna buy an apron this summer, too.
post #5699 of 5954
Just lowered the prices in the Taco God gift shop. Most everything is at cost now...because money isn't everything you know...

Meat fluff is.

---also added an Ash Grey kitchen shirt for Billz.
post #5700 of 5954
Your application for sainthood just moved up the pile on someone's desk. Bless you, Brother Ego.
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