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Chewer Fantasy - Page 2

post #51 of 60
4/4/03 at 12:10am
Slater, what a riot! Your humor and creativity are endless. I think we all should be in your next novel. What a party that would be. You know I'm in e-love with you, right?

[edited to not sound like a stalker]
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post #52 of 60
4/4/03 at 12:32am
Oooo. me next!
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post #53 of 60
4/4/03 at 1:18am
I want one
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post #54 of 60
4/4/03 at 1:44pm
Thread Starter 
Okay, I guess a few people are still reading these, so I'll keep going until I run dry...

ALICE is a Mournful Cubebeast.

Def.--Pity the poor Mournful Cubebeast, the coldest of all nature's creations. Despite the Cubebeast's thick wool and the warm climates where it is generally found, the Cubebeast is nevertheless constantly freezing. Many scientists attribute this to the fact that the Mournful Cubebeast is constantly expelling perfectly-formed ice cubes from its anus. Defining characteristics include violent, uncontrollable shudders and its distinctive cries, which sound quite a bit like, "ohgodohgodohgodohgoooooooooooddamn!" If confronted by a Mournful Cubebeast, do not use their ice cubes to cool a refreshing beverage. This bears repeating--Do NOT use their ice cubes! They're not...sanitary.
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post #55 of 60
4/4/03 at 1:57pm
Quote:
Slater Has No Shame:
EYEBALL KID is a Red-Breasted Crotch Weasel.

Def.--Half of this majestic burrowing creature's name is derived from the bright red patch of fur that grows on its chest in a beautiful arc of color. The other half of its name, unfortunately, is derived from *where* the creature likes to burrow.
NICE.
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post #56 of 60
4/4/03 at 2:03pm
Onionize me.
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post #57 of 60
4/4/03 at 2:28pm
Thread Starter 
SAMURAI X is a Vulcan.

Def.--Yes, Vulcans exist. Yes, they have pointy ears. No, they won't do that hand-thingie. Quit asking them already.
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post #58 of 60
4/4/03 at 2:34pm
Thread Starter 
CONNIGIT is a Horribly Poisonous Burrito Toad.

Def.--Popular with both the suicidal and the daring and gassy, the Horribly Poisonous Burrito Toad is a rather strange creature. Half of its body is composed of a delicious blend of beans, meat and cheese, while the other half is stuffed with a thick, horribly poisonous mucus that kills on contact. I'll tell you which is which for five bucks. Or you could quit being a pussy and take a bite, dude. Come on, I dare you. Do it. Do it. Bite the toad. Come on, you big pussy. Bite it. Bite that toad. Everybody does it, dude.

.........damn.

Dude, I can't believe he actually did it. Whoa. How are we gonna explain this to his mom? I mean...dude. Shit.
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post #59 of 60
4/4/03 at 6:41pm
Thread Starter 
MR. KRUEGER is a Gack.

Def.--A sticky, bright green substance, also called "goop" and "slime." Similar to Earth, the world of Manawan uses Gack for television game shows where children get Gack dumped on their heads, or are forced to dive headfirst into large pools of Gack. Unlike on Earth, however, the Gack found on Manawan is highly corrosive acid. They don't like kids much on Manawan.
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post #60 of 60
4/4/03 at 7:04pm
Thread Starter 
BUTTERCUP is a Hoopity Thrush.

Def.--Native to the arid world of Lell, Hoopity Thrushes have been hunted to the verge of extinction. This is not due to their taste--which is horrible--or their feathers--which are ugly and usually slightly damp--but rather to their distinctive mating call, which goes: "Hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity hoopity HOOPITY!" Some species simply deserve to be extinct.
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