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What makes a good Chewer?

post #1 of 15
4/3/03 at 2:31pm
Thread Starter 
I don't know how many times someone has said "He was one of the greats" or "the boards are nothing without Uncle Mitch." But what is it exactly that makes your favorite Chewer(s) your favorite?

Please don't use this thread to actually name who you think fits the criteria. I don't want this to turn into a popularity contest. Just list the qualities that you find valuable for a Chewer to have.

My favorite Chewers must have:

- intelligence
- a sense of humor that's a little bit twisted
- the ability to debate an issue without attacking the person
- a healthy appreciation for crap movies that are a lot of fun at the same time as loving well-made, well-acted films
- great boobs
- the ability to recognize that this is just a messageboard and that life will go on whether it exists or not
- an open mind
- be willing to admit when they are wrong and not gloat when they are right
- an almost unhealthy love for "24" and "Six Feet Under"
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post #2 of 15
4/3/03 at 2:33pm
Strong canines, good jaw-action, proper salivary glands, a strong enough tongue and possibly good dental hygiene.
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post #3 of 15
4/3/03 at 2:34pm
Quote:
Smilin' Jack Ruby:
Strong canines, good jaw-action, proper salivary glands, a strong enough tongue and possibly good dental hygiene.
As long as they don't drag their teeth...
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post #4 of 15
4/3/03 at 2:51pm
Thread Starter 
Kinky. I like it.
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post #5 of 15
4/3/03 at 3:02pm
They also must know how to use their hands correctly while using their mouth.
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post #6 of 15
4/3/03 at 3:08pm
I second Diva with the exception of the TV shows, neither of which I care about.
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post #7 of 15
4/3/03 at 3:10pm
I agree with the great boobs.
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post #8 of 15
4/3/03 at 3:25pm
Dave! Shame on you. I almost - but was talked out of - getting a boob job because of peer pressure here.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go cry. And fondle myself.
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post #9 of 15
4/3/03 at 3:40pm
Moral dilemma: Micah shows love for "Mean Guns" but has no love for "24"...I'm so confused now- I'm just torn. I might cry.

Anyhoo, I think Diva hit all the big points. The only things I can think to add are: knowing how to spell and undying devotion to me.
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post #10 of 15
4/3/03 at 3:57pm
I think the perfect Chewer should have:
Breath spray
Kryptonite tipped arrows
A Target credit card
Cheesecake and coffee
Daisy Fuentes' phone number
A limo with a wet bar
the Led Zeppelin box set
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post #11 of 15
4/3/03 at 6:44pm
Quote:
Diamond Diva:
I don't know how many times someone has said "He was one of the greats" or "the boards are nothing without Uncle Mitch." But what is it exactly that makes your favorite Chewer(s) your favorite?

Please don't use this thread to actually name who you think fits the criteria. I don't want this to turn into a popularity contest. Just list the qualities that you find valuable for a Chewer to have.

My favorite Chewers must have:

- intelligence
- a sense of humor that's a little bit twisted
- the ability to debate an issue without attacking the person
- a healthy appreciation for crap movies that are a lot of fun at the same time as loving well-made, well-acted films
- great boobs
- the ability to recognize that this is just a messageboard and that life will go on whether it exists or not
- an open mind
- be willing to admit when they are wrong and not gloat when they are right
- an almost unhealthy love for "24" and "Six Feet Under"
I do have great boobs, dont I.

<edited because I wrote boob, not boobs>

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post #12 of 15
4/3/03 at 6:48pm
My boobs suck. I'll stop posting now since I don't qualify. Should I start a thread and let everyone know? Kidding.

I would add these qualities:

-Can flip like a mofo
-Doesn't like pickled beets
-Knows who The Dude is
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post #13 of 15
4/3/03 at 6:49pm
DJ, I think in that context, the word boob becomes similar to the plural of deer and sheep.

Example:
There goes a herd of sheep.
I almost hit three deer.
This place has an excellent selection of boob tonight.
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post #14 of 15
4/3/03 at 8:38pm
-Don't be an Assbag.
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post #15 of 15
4/4/03 at 3:03am
I've got the intelligence, sense of humor and nice perky tits. Well, seeing as my roomate and I will start hitting the weights tomorrow, I should probably enjoy my funbags while I got em'! Will I be less of a chewer when they're gone?
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