Quote:
Boomstick:
for instance, cheese biscuits??? i'd love to know where that started. do you love cheese biscuits or was this a pet's name? |
It’s a rather interesting story, actually.
Once, whist I was wandering through the most eastern wood, I came across a man of a most feeble and fragile state of being. It would be a lie to say that this man was forthcoming, so I shall not deny any such action or bearings, yet he was able to speak in such a manner that I and those around me (there were none) could hear him most audibly (as speaking is traditionally heard with the ears). He asked of me to bend over so that I was closer to him. I first thought this was so I could hear him better, but the truth of the matter was most contrary.
He punched me in the face with a lead pipe and darted off into the most eastern wood giggling happily as his day’s work had been completed, though his only profit had been his own amusement. By this logic, one would think he would be happy and content (not otherwise noted) hitting a tree with his lead pipe… as hitting my person provided no real benefit. It must have tickled his fancy.
I tracked the small man for several days in secret until I happened upon his home in the belly of a large oak tree. It was here that I found him sleeping on the night of August the Twelfth of that year. I broke the latch on his small window and squeezed myself through. It was a most narrow squeeze, sapping nearly all the breath from my lungs to accomplish the feat. Once inside, I made my way to the bedroom where the old man slept. I causally opened the door (as casually as one can open a door, for it is a rather formal affair) and I stepped over the threshold into the tiny bedroom.
Within I discovered two small person lie asleep in the bed. The small, quaint old man I had met earlier was indeed there, but next to him laid a rather beautiful and rather naked young lady. She was indeed most naked and without apparel, a fact which I noted and recorded for later use with my video camera.
It was then that I carried through with my plans. I awoke the old man and snapped his neck in half with a piece of birch. I quickly ran out of the room leaving the naked girl in my wake, screaming like some kind of hen. I’m not sure what kind of hen, but I am quite sure with myself (not with you or Burt) that it was most definitely similar to a hen. As I made my way out the front door which I kicked fiercely with my left foot (as my right foot is not as fierce or unyielding). Before I left through, I did take notice of the smell coming from the kitchen nook. I quickly ran to the open oven where I discovered three
Cheese Biscuits laid out in the open. I took them and ran.
And now you know the rest of the story…
