or Connect
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › Stuff chewers think about while at work.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Stuff chewers think about while at work.

post #1 of 99
Thread Starter 
In the short time that has past since I got my first part time job in mid-august till now I have already gathered some interesting experiences worth sharing with others. I figure that if I've been only working for a little over two months, those who've been working for years must have a wealth of stories and little observations to share.

This thread is that place where chewers can share stories about their day.

Since everyone has that fear of being fired for violating some sort of confidentiality agreement that they signed to get their job, lets keep out the real names of those people that you work with as well as the name of your employer.

the phone
I work at a book store as a cashier. I still have no idea how to work the store's phone system. A cashier is not supposed to answer the phone because the closest computer that the store has which I can use to look up the information about any given book is 12ft away. The phone has a ten foot cord so only the people who work at the information desk answer the phone.

The store phone is such an odd creature. At times we get along great, other times it likes playing jokes on me, and then there are times when it hates my guts. The only thing I know how to do on it is how to use the store's paging system where I pick up the receiver press a button and say something like "Backup to the cash registers please." Simple enough, the hard part is when I put the handset back down because this is when the phone likes to play tricks. On bad days there is an ear splitting click over the PA system and mysteriously everyone on hold vanishes... One time when I put down the handset the phone switched to speaker phone. Not the normal type of speaker phone either, it seemed like it was only one way, we could hear the guy on hold but he still apparently was hearing the music of the hold system. Everyone in line could hear him humming out of key, I had no idea what button to press to make it stop, I in the end had to call someone over from info to correct the situation.

Customer's and their purchases.
Normally I don't make any comments about what someone buys unless it is out of idle chit-chat like "I've always wanted to read this book, do you like the author?" But every now and again a customer comes up with a purchase that stalls my brain for a second as It desperately tries to make me stop laughing. Mid September a fourteen-year-old girl walked in to the store in a costume that made me assume that she was on her way to a birthday party of some sort. She was dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, and she buys a book with a pretty flower on it that she wants wrapped to give as a present. Halfway through ringing it up I glanced down at the title which read " <a href="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1580050751.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg" target="_blank">****</a> ". I paused for at least ten seconds as my mind rebooted then I continued to ring her up apologizing to her saying something like "sorry I just had a brain fart." Later as I give the wrapped book to her I smile and let out a little giggle, she looks at me in a very odd way and then leaves. At first I hoped that she didn't think I laughed at her, when really I was laughing at the complete contrast between her and her purchase, then I wondered if I had remembered to take off the price tag and vowed to double check the next time I wrap something.

Whenever someone buys a romance novel or a soft core DVD (we don’t sell porn unless you count magazines, What we do sell though are cheap Hollywood imitations of porn like the movie Showgirls) it is always a given that they will ask for it to be wrapped in our leopard print paper. And at the time that they ask for that particular wrapping paper they will let out a small giggle.

Sometimes when I ask a customer if they would like a bag they say, “No thanks, lets save a tree...” We only have plastic bags... but that is not what gets me, after all our bags are hidden behind the counter where the cutomers can’t see them. What gets me about that statement is that they are buying BOOKS. You know? The kind made from paper.

It’s getting late so I’ll stop here for now as I have to work tomorrow from 9 to 5:30 and I should go to bed. I’m not finished though and will be back to share more of my thoughts.

&lt;&lt;Edited to correct minor mistakes.&gt;&gt;
post #2 of 99
I feel sick today, and I just want to go home.
That's what's going on in my head today, trying to figure out if I can skip out early.
post #3 of 99
Bah.
post #4 of 99
Cool thread. The only thing that I'll be thinking about at work today is how I wish I didn't have to be there. It's going to get up to 83 degrees outside. frown
post #5 of 99
Oh, just the usual.

Thinking about my children, and missing them. Worrying about my sister, who is having some significant legal trouble right now. Trying to figure out how to stretch my already overburdened budget to feed another mouth, since I have temporary custody of my sixteen year old nephew.

I wish I was at home.
post #6 of 99
My bed, and how much I would like to be sleeping in it!

I work the shit shift at a hotel, and get some interesting people in. Every night, I encounter a should be winner of the Darwin award.

Recently, I had a guy ask me if it costs extra to turn on the air conditioning.

On Friday I had a guy who was excorted in by the cops tell me that although he blew a .37, he wasn't drunk.

I've had guys parade around the desk without a shirt on trying to impress me.

I've had a lady call down multiple times (in a 5 minute period) asking me if anything delivers at 3 am--nothing in this area does. Finally, she said "well, not even if YOU call??" I guess working the front desk of a hotel makes me God of all things delivery. Who knew!

The list goes on and on and on...
post #7 of 99
Today I spent most of the time thinking about how stupid it was for me to get drunk yesterday before my flight back from Cleveland. See, my flight ended up being delayed for two hours cause of fog in San Diego, and well by the time we took off it was 11pm and my hangover was hitting me in full force. The worst part is that I had a 1.5 hour drive when I finally got off the flight at midnight. Needless to say, I made it in 6 hours. I had to stop for a nap twice. I started work at 6:45 this morning with almost no sleep and having not taken a shower. It's been a great day, since I missed Friday I am behind in my work.

Boy am I feeling good that as soon as I submit this post, I am going home for a much needed shower and nap.
post #8 of 99
I always think that I should work more. But that's the fun of it, trying to figure out how to manage my time; it's actually harder than you may think.
post #9 of 99
Thinking about going home, riding my bike, relaxing and watching a Netflix movie and writing in my journal.
post #10 of 99
Pretty simple: "I want to get out of this place."
post #11 of 99
I always think about sex at work. Never about sex with co-workers, but still. My job has gotten to the point where all I am really doing is maintaining programs I or others who have left have written, as we now sell this nifty little web marketing/brand control package that is a "canned" product, meaning we punish people who want super customization with high fees. So, not a lot of new stuff to write. This may change after I go to the Isles of Myst, but until then, daydreams of sexy encounters with Caribou and surgical tubing it is!
post #12 of 99
Ludwig beat me to it. Sex sex sex.

(Lets see how long it takes for the "beat me to it" jokes to start...5...4...3...2...1...)
post #13 of 99
Beat meat to it? What?
post #14 of 99
I keep thinking about how many resumes I have out there on HR desks around town.
post #15 of 99
Do you know how thick the piles of resumes on HR desks around town are?

Paper can be ignored.
post #16 of 99
Quote:
Social likes to jump in leaves:
I work the shit shift at a hotel, and get some interesting people in. Every night, I encounter a should be winner of the Darwin award.
Have you seen Dirty Pretty Things? If not, I recommend that you do so... you'll probably enjoy it even more than I did.
post #17 of 99
I haven't seen it, but I'll make sure that I do!
post #18 of 99
I too think of sex at work. That and the "I need to get the fuck out of here" deal.
post #19 of 99

Usually I plan out my day for when I get off work, precisely how much time I'll spend napping, watching stuff, other activities, ETC. I try to think out my meal time eating to psych myself up and build an appetite. I try to just read stuff online to pass the time too. You guys usually get a dose of whatever is on my mind via my postings on the forum. I also keep an eye on the clock and tick out how many hours remain before I get to leave

 

 

Just got off work and am home now in fact, I'm going to take a 2 hr and 16 minute nap

post #20 of 99

You guys sound like a bunch of whiny, inefficient time thieves! 

 

Also, I think about fucking. Constantly. I mean CONSTANTLY. 

 

 

 

post #21 of 99

KILLMEKILLMEKILLMEKILLMEFUCKINGKILLMENOW,  how much I hate my manager, and how many hours/minutes are left until I get to clock out.

post #22 of 99

" I wonder who's going to die today"

 

"Jesus christ, why can't people take a minute and fold something instead of throwing it in a drawer"

 

"Hip up, drop the hip, shimmy hips, shimmy shoulder, three point turn, kick the leg up, drop the hip, undulate, reverse undulation, maya up, maya down, umi, hip cicle, wide hip circle from pelvis, hip circle with torso, and Pose!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(I bellydance as a hobby, and listen to middle eastern music at work.)

post #23 of 99
Thread Starter 

Wow, what a blast from the past.

post #24 of 99

Work is where CHUD becomes an utter godsend - I can settle my mind on the discussions, which gives my brain a respite now and then.

post #25 of 99

"I don't think this doctor knows what parentheses are for"

 

"I don't think hyperbilirubinemia is even real, I think he just made it up because he didn't want to say 'breast milk jaundice'"

 

"I wonder if they would pay me if I didn't fix any of their mistakes, and all their letters and progress notes were one horrendous run-on sentence"

 

Etc

 

 

post #26 of 99

I'm thinking of having a few beers for lunch. Or maybe killing myself. Christmas music all day every day until after New Years. Clients wanting their food stamps "right now" even when I tell them we don't give out the issuance cards here as the are sent via mail. People get desperate at holiday time. Say all sorts of crazy shit to try and guilt you to give them their benefits "right now". There is no "right now" anymore. Buon Natale. Yeah I need a few shots.

post #27 of 99
How much I regret leaving my old gig for this new one. The pay increase was not worth it.
post #28 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post

How much I regret leaving my old gig for this new one. The pay increase was not worth it.


 

THIS.  And I was a stay-at-home-dad before my current gig.  [img]KATE WE HAVE TO GO BACK[/img]

post #29 of 99
The gig that I'm doing is not quite what they sold me during the interview process. I'm working on huge projects with uncleared objectives and end.dates.that are unrealistic for the resources available. Procedures and documentation are in flux, and different departments have procedures that conflict with ours. Everything is adversarial and the stress level is through the roof. The finger of blame is pointed at everyone everywhere. I could work 80 hours a week and still be behind.

The good news is that my old gig wants me back I'm a major way. It'd be a pay cut but I'd be happier. May do that in January.
post #30 of 99

Funny, I like to think about how unhappy I'll be at the new, higher-salaried job I'll get someday.

 

I also think about my screenplay. And I think about looking at the Salma Hayek Boobs thread, and usually do. And this leads me to think about sex. Did I mention that already?  

post #31 of 99

I was just in the Kat Dennings thread. thank you to whoever posted that last series of photos.

 

post #32 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post

The gig that I'm doing is not quite what they sold me during the interview process. I'm working on huge projects with uncleared objectives and end.dates.that are unrealistic for the resources available. Procedures and documentation are in flux, and different departments have procedures that conflict with ours. Everything is adversarial and the stress level is through the roof. The finger of blame is pointed at everyone everywhere. I could work 80 hours a week and still be behind.
The good news is that my old gig wants me back I'm a major way. It'd be a pay cut but I'd be happier. May do that in January.


 

Good luck, sir. Money is important, but your mental health is moreso.

post #33 of 99

I actually don't hate my job, at least not any more so than I would any other, it's moderately OK.  But yeah, the Salma Hayek Boobs thread is always there, calling my name

post #34 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdBighead View Post

I'm thinking of having a few beers for lunch. Or maybe killing myself. Christmas music all day every day until after New Years.


 

Oh god, I remember that hell. I worked a retail job during Christmas break one year when I was 16 or 17.

 

Some nights I still wake screaming with Snoopy's Christmas ringing in my ears.

post #35 of 99

After a crappy job, then six months unemployed, then a better job but shift work, i now think about how very lucky I am to have got the job i am currenlty in. 

 

I'm also currenlty thinking about the Christmas Bonus, and if I'm going to qualify for it.

post #36 of 99

Trying to work while I hear Barry Manilow sing "Winter Wonderland" on the speaker by my cube. These are the current songs playing on  an hourly rotation by my head on my typical day:

 

"Dominic the Chistmas Donkey"

 

"I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"

 

"Santa Baby"

 

"Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer"

 

"I want to buy these shoes for my dying mother song"

 

"Charlie Brown Christmas"

 

"The Grinch"

 

"Jingle Bell Rock" various versions.

 

"All I want for Christmas is You" various versions.

 

"The 9/11 Spoken Word Christmas song like God is talking"

 

Fucking kill me someone for the love of (insert your Deity here)!!!

 

 

Ad nauseum............

post #37 of 99

I'm basically busy trying not to think about how mind destroyingly beautiful the girl that started working in the store next to mine is. Easily the best looking woman I've ever seen in real life. Intimidatingly so.

post #38 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

I'm basically busy trying not to think about how mind destroyingly beautiful the girl that started working in the store next to mine is. Easily the best looking woman I've ever seen in real life. Intimidatingly so.



You poor, poor bastard.

post #39 of 99

Today at work, we had our annual health & wellness screening. I was helped by a ridiculously cute nurse, who couldn't find a cooperative vein. I was jabbed three times by her before she found the sweet spot. After each failed attempt, there would still be some blood droplets that she'd dab cotton balls at and then wipe away WITH HER BARE HAND......now I can't stop thinking if I'm completely disgusted by this, or completely in love....

post #40 of 99

"Awww God I really don't feel well. It must have been the queuing in the rain to see Hanson. At least Laura got to meet that good looking one. I'm really looking forward to The Avengers but TDKR looks good too. Man my taste in films is generic. Mind you I really liked 50/50 last night that was good. But again I was hoping to see The Avengers trailer. What a loser. I'm glad I'm married cuz I'd never get any sugar if I wasn't. I wonder what the Chud guys thought of 50/50? I hope those guys like me, they're so much cleverer than me, I make up for it by trying to be funny. Maybe more puns? I wish Dexter was better this... Thank you for calling {multi billion pound insurance company} How can I help? No that's not us, thanks Bye... season, it's awful but I really like Deb and Michael C Hall is the boss. He'd make a great Daredevil. I wonder if I'll get Skyrim for Christmas. I really shouldn't have loaned Arkham City to Dan, I won't get it back for months. I'm really enjoying The Stand, I can see where Darlton got a lot of their stuff for Lost. Holy Shit Lost was disappointing, not just the ending, there was such a decline in quality. Not like Breaking Bad now there's a show. Bryan Cranston's so good, he should have been in Drive more. I wish I looked like Ryan Gosling, Laura always swoons over him. If I met him I'd be all, 'my wife thinks your terrific' like Columbo. Why did the Doctor always solve the murders in Diagnosis Murder? It must have frustrating for the police chief. I wonder if he operated on people sometimes? I hope I get to meet Stan Lee at some point, he's great. Oh and Dave Chappelle. I wonder what Larry David is like in real life. I hope this sketch show I'm writing with Rob works out, I mean we both think they're funny but what does that mean. I'm not cut out for Office work. I hate all this hot desking. Urgh this mocha is cold. cough cough"

post #41 of 99

Batman.

 

I think about Batman. All the goddamn time.

post #42 of 99

Boobies.

 

I mean BATMAN. Yeah, Batman.

post #43 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post

Boobies.

 

I mean BATMAN. Yeah, Batman.



Think about Batgirl or Batwoman and you've got them both covered.

post #44 of 99

I always think about how I hate my life because I work at Walmart.

post #45 of 99

I've spent the past ten minutes trying to decide if a fake severed finger from work would be a good white elephant gift for a party this weekend.

post #46 of 99


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace View Post

I've spent the past ten minutes trying to decide if a fake severed finger from work would be a good white elephant gift for a party this weekend.



What is a white elephant gift?

 

post #47 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post

What is a white elephant gift?

 

 

You might know it as Yankee Swap:
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant_gift_exchange

post #48 of 99


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace View Post



 

You might know it as Yankee Swap:
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant_gift_exchange



 

Thank you for this info!

post #49 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike's Pants View Post

"Awww God I really don't feel well. It must have been the queuing in the rain to see Hanson. At least Laura got to meet that good looking one. I'm really looking forward to The Avengers but TDKR looks good too. Man my taste in films is generic. Mind you I really liked 50/50 last night that was good. But again I was hoping to see The Avengers trailer. What a loser. I'm glad I'm married cuz I'd never get any sugar if I wasn't. I wonder what the Chud guys thought of 50/50? I hope those guys like me, they're so much cleverer than me, I make up for it by trying to be funny. Maybe more puns? I wish Dexter was better this... Thank you for calling {multi billion pound insurance company} How can I help? No that's not us, thanks Bye... season, it's awful but I really like Deb and Michael C Hall is the boss. He'd make a great Daredevil. I wonder if I'll get Skyrim for Christmas. I really shouldn't have loaned Arkham City to Dan, I won't get it back for months. I'm really enjoying The Stand, I can see where Darlton got a lot of their stuff for Lost. Holy Shit Lost was disappointing, not just the ending, there was such a decline in quality. Not like Breaking Bad now there's a show. Bryan Cranston's so good, he should have been in Drive more. I wish I looked like Ryan Gosling, Laura always swoons over him. If I met him I'd be all, 'my wife thinks your terrific' like Columbo. Why did the Doctor always solve the murders in Diagnosis Murder? It must have frustrating for the police chief. I wonder if he operated on people sometimes? I hope I get to meet Stan Lee at some point, he's great. Oh and Dave Chappelle. I wonder what Larry David is like in real life. I hope this sketch show I'm writing with Rob works out, I mean we both think they're funny but what does that mean. I'm not cut out for Office work. I hate all this hot desking. Urgh this mocha is cold. cough cough"




Mike you are a legend

post #50 of 99

I learned from the best Emperor Savage!

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Chewers Catch-All
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › Stuff chewers think about while at work.