The lives and times of the mirror man

Lucid,

I am sorry to hear that you have been having such a difficult time. I have had to deal with Depression/Anxiety, and coupled with the stress of your situation, I'm sure you are feeling quite overwhelmed. I think the best thing you can do for yourself and your loved ones is to find a doctor that you feel comfortable talking to and discuss a plan for treatment. Bipolar disorder is most commonly treated chemically with mood stabilizers, such as lithium. It will be up to you and your doctor, whether such a treatment is right for you. Getting your manic/depressive states under control will make it easier for you to deal with the other issues you have in your life at the moment. I hope this helps. Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.

Wishing you strength and peace,
Lisa Marie aka Gracie

Hi Lucid,

The first thing you need to do is get help immediately. If you don't know where you can go to locally here are some numbers you could try. I'm not sure if the second two apply but I thought I would post them anyway.

I myself have had difficulty with mental disorders (manic depression, ADD, suicide). St. John's Wart seems to work for me but I know for a fact that it doesn't for everyone. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk. Or e-mail me at sundabcer@juno.com

JenGe

Don't worry about that. Your health and well being is much more important then a card.

Take care.

Ah, shit Lucid... I hope this all works out for you, my friend. That stuff ain't no laughing matter (I'm not bi-polar, but mental health problems run in the family.. so I got some second hand experiences with it). wish you all the best, and I just hope that my card won't get a wrong reaction... (praying you like zombies).

Take care of yourself!

Hey Lucid,

I am sorry to hear about everything that is going on in your life. When talking to anyone you love, it is best to say just what you feel from the heart, Lucid. If you do call your son, just tell him you love him. The rest will fall in place.

I am sorry to hear that you are bi-polar. I have mentioned on the board quite a few times, that I am bi-polar. I was diagnosed as bi-polar about 6 years ago. I have a very good pdoc as we call them. I am glad JenGe posted some numbers for you, and I hope you find a GOOD doctor. You don't want a doctor that gives medications too freely, because you will end up in a mess. I know that first hand. Lithium is what my doctor has me on, and it helps the mood swings. Have you ever experienced times that you cry and wonder why? Then, at other times, everything is funny and life is grand. UP and DOWN, UP and DOWN. The mania phase is great and you feel on top of the world. You can get so much done during a bout of mania, but your thoughts race. You cannot keep your thoughts on track. Then, when depression hits, you thing about every morbid thing under the sun. I will not go into this here.

If you go to a good doctor, and he decides Lithium is right for you. Take it at the same time each day. NEVER skip a dose. If you run out of Lithium and do not have the money to get it, borrow it. The last thing you want to do is have a crash. That is when you go into a deep, deep depression. It is scary and it is dangerous. It is dangerous to skip doses of lithium, and you must keep your lithium levels checked. This is the most important part about lithium is keeping the right amount in your system. It has worked for me so far, and I no longer have bouts of crying endlessly. Sometimes I feel rather numb on Lithium though. It is like any other medication,it affects some people differently than it does others. There are other medications they are using for bi-polar disorder now. I have a list somewhere here, but I cannot locate it right now. I also take Klonopin for anxiety. The combination of the two medications help me with my manic depression. Klonopin can be a chemcially dependent drug if taken over a long period of time. If you go off of it, you have to be weened off by the doctor. It is another medication that you do not stop or skip a dose of.

I am going to send you a link to a great site, that I visit quite often. There used to be a message board there, but I think it is gone now. It was nice posting there when I felt depressed, because everyone there knows just how you are feeling.

Take care Lucid, and I hope you get things worked out. Get to a doctor soon, because they have so many wonderful medications that can help you make it through rough times. Praying helps me, but I am not trying to force religion on you. You have to find some way to relax.

JenGe, I am glad that you shared those links, and I am so sorry that you suffer with manic depression too.

If you or Lucid ever want to talk, please email me. Use this address colored_rooms@yahoo.com

Oh one other thing...we are not alone. Here is list of some well known people that are or were manic-depressives.

Ted Turner, entrepreneur
Rosemary Clooney, singer
Jim Carey, actor
Robin Williams, comedian
John Daly, athlete (golf)
Dick Cavett, writer, media personality
Patricia Cornwell, writer
Buzz Aldrin, astronaut
Ned Beatty, actor
Patty Duke, actor, writer
Carrie Fisher, writer, actor
Margot Kidder, actor
Kristy McNichol, actor
Charley Pride, musician
Jean-Claude Van Damme, athlete (martial arts), actor
Jonathan Winters, comedian, actor, writer, artist
Mark Vonnegut, doctor, writer
Edgar Allen Poe
Mark Twain, author
Ludwig Von Beethoven
Winston Churchill
Shelley Beattie, athlete (bodybuilding, sailing), artist
Maurice Benard, actor
Robert Boorstin, writer, special assistant to Pres. Clinton, State Department
Art Buchwald, writer, humorist
Alohe Jean Burke (Ghafoor), musician, vocalist
Tim Burton, artist, movie director
Robert Campeau, financier (Canada)
Lisa Nicole Carson, actor
C.E. Chaffin, writer, poet
Garnet Coleman, legislator (Texas)
Francis Ford Coppola, director
Ray Davies, musician
Lenny Dee, musician
Eric Douglas, actor
Robert Downey, Jr., actor
Kitty Dukakis, former First Lady of Massachusetts
Thomas Eagleton, lawyer, former U.S. Senator
Margot Early, writer
Robert Evans, film producer
Larry Flynt, magazine publisher
Connie Francis, actor, musician
Kaye Gibbons, writer
Kit Gingrich, Newt's Mom
Shecky Greene, comedian, actor
Linda Hamilton, actor
Kristin Hersh, musician
Jack Irons, musician
Kay Redfield Jamison, psychologist, writer
Daniel Johnston, musician
Peter Nolan Lawrence, writer (England)
Rika Lesser, writer, translator
Bill Lichtenstein, producer (TV & radio)
Jay Marvin, radio personality, writer
Kevin McDonald, comedian, actor
Dimitri Mihalas, scientist
Kate Millett, writer, artist
Spike Milligan, comic actor, writer
John Mulheren, financier (U.S.)
Robert Munsch, writer
Ilie Nastase, athlete (tennis), politician
Margo Orum, writer
Nicola Pagett, actor
Susan Panico (Susan Dime-Meenan), business executive
Jimmie Piersall, athlete (baseball), sports announcer
Mac Rebennack (Dr. John), musician
Jeannie C. Riley, musician
Lynn Rivers, U.S. Congress
Alys Robi, vocalist (Canada)
Axl Rose, musician
Francesco Scavullo, artist, photographer
Lori Schiller, writer, educator
Frances Sherwood, writer
Scott Simmie, writer, journalist
Earl Simmons (DMX), musician, actor
Alonzo Spellman, athlete (football)
Muffin Spencer-Devlin, athlete (pro golf)
Darryl Strawberry, athlete (baseball)
Gordon Sumner (Sting), musician, composer
Lili Taylor, actor
Sol Wachtler, judge, writer
Tom Waits, musician, composer
Brian Wilson, musician, composer, arranger
Luther Wright, athlete (basketball)
Alvin Ailey, 1931-1989, dancer, choreographer
Louis Althusser, 1918-1990, philosopher, writer
Clifford Beers, 1876-1943, humanitarian
John Berryman, 1914-1972, poet
L. Brent Bozell, d. 1997, attorney, political scientist, writer
Jeremy Brett, 1933-1995, actor
Neal Cassady, 1926-1968, writer
Hart Crane, 1899-1932, poet
Lindsay Crosby, 1938-1989, actor
Phil Graham, owner, Washington Post
Graham Greene, 1904-1991, writer
Peter Gregg, 1940-1980, team owner and manager, race car driver
Moss Hart, 1904-1961, actor, director, playright
Abbie Hoffman, 1936-1989, writer, political activist
Phyllis Hyman, 1949-1995, musician, vocalist
Randall Jarrell, 1914-1965, poet
Jane Kenyon, 1940-1995, poet
Otto Klemperer, 1885-1973, musician, conductor
Frances Lear, 1923-1996, writer, editor, women's rights activist
Vivien Leigh, 1913-1967, actor
Oscar Levant, 1906-1972, pianist, composer, television personality
Karl Paul Link, chemist, scientist
Joshua Logan, 1909-1988, Broadway director, producer
Robert Lowell, 1917-1977, poet
Burgess Meredith, 1908-1997, actor, director
Phil Ochs, 1940-1976, musician, political activist, poet
John Ogden, 1937-1989, composer, musician
Jaco Pastorius, 1951-1987, musician
Pierre Peladeau, 1925-1997, entrepreneur
Murray Pezim, 1920-1998, financier
Theodore Roethke, 1908-1963, writer
Delmore Schwartz, 1913-1966, poet
Del Shannon, 1934-1990, musician
Don Simpson, 1944-1996, movie producer
David Strickland, 1970-1999, actor
August Strindberg, 1849-1912, writer
Nick Traina, 1978-1997, musician
Townes Van Zandt, 1944-1997, musician, composer
Joseph Vasquez, 1963-1996, writer, movie director
Mary Jane Ward, 1905-1981, writer
Norman Wexler, 1926-1999, screenwriter, playwright
Virginia Woolf, 1882-1941, writer
Bert Yancey, 1938-1994, athlet

Well, I hope this helps, and I apologize for the length of the post. Take care.

Lucid, you didn't abandon him. You did what you thought was best at the time to give him a better life. By all means, call him. If his grandparents have any kind of smarts at all, they will realize what you did was in his best interests and will now encourage the two of you to have a relationship. About your bi-polarism (?), get thee to a doctor immediately. I suffer(ed) from it too, and the only thing that helped me was getting on the medication to balance the hormones in my brain, and the love and support of my family. It will get better, trust me. Making contact with your child will go a long way in helping you too. Do it for both of you. IM me if you want to talk and I'll email you with my phone number.