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CHUD Haiku

post #1 of 69
10/25/00 at 10:25am
Thread Starter 
Demonfest abounds
The sweet, sweet sound of chainsaw
The Chin has found work.

What? Greedo shot first?
Biggs Darklighter still left out
Still no DVD

Many new users
When Battlefield Earth hit screens
Scientologists.

Leather costumes suck
Wolverine too tall for part
All bitching in vain.

Nick gets bad hotel
To Live & Die In LA.
Oops. San Diego.

Creature Corner split.
Sci-Fighter going as well.
Eventually. ;}

Much CHUD merchandise
Shirts, coffee mugs, mousey pads
Still want CHUD slippers.

Nick Nunziata
Not the same guy in the film
*A*nunziata.


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post #2 of 69
10/25/00 at 10:26am
good stuff, my red haired supervillain.
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post #3 of 69
10/25/00 at 10:28am
You are the master. I bow.
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post #4 of 69
10/25/00 at 11:39am
Thread Starter 
Huge Hulking Grendel
Armed, patroling for candy
With small lady-bug

Shelby has not seen
Evil Dead 1, 2, or 3
Is going to rent, now

Can think in haiku
But SciFi Channel ads still
Confuse the hell out of me.

Much debate occurs
over enjoyment level
of Episode One

Won Competition
But Nick has been real busy
Still no DVD

Help me, I am stuck
Thinking in five-seven-five
Haikus can get old.

[This message has been edited by Coyote (edited 10-25-2000).]
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post #5 of 69
10/25/00 at 11:40am
Cinemazone owes EVERYONE.

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post #6 of 69
10/25/00 at 11:50am
Thread Starter 
I'm not complaining
Note the smiley face on it
Just found it funny.

A blink of an eye
And BOOM! There is a new post.
Nick responds damn fast.

The whole point of this
Was to get others to play
Come on, guys. You try.

[This message has been edited by Coyote (edited 10-25-2000).]
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post #7 of 69
10/25/00 at 11:53am
I love these boards.
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post #8 of 69
10/25/00 at 12:18pm
My ass is on fire
I had burritos for lunch
Please God rescue me

My trip to L.A.
Was filled with whores and sushi
I love Caribou

------------------
Mike Arsenault
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam."
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post #9 of 69
10/25/00 at 12:32pm
What was once
A CHUD Haiku
is now a love note

TO DRUG ADDICTS
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post #10 of 69
10/25/00 at 12:43pm
where is the lovin'?
undead behind the green pipe:
it's the chud sewer.

nick's a feisty guy.
he's like a punch in the nuts,
our fearless leader.

blofeld counts one more,
six-six-six came and went,
armageddon's late.

won't use capitals.
my haikus bite the walrus.
so wrote poor /willko.
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post #11 of 69
10/25/00 at 12:53pm
Jack-in-the-Box food
breakfast while I read CHUD boards
Ketchup pak fights me
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post #12 of 69
10/25/00 at 2:24pm
grendel really knows how to kill a thread, no?
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post #13 of 69
10/25/00 at 2:31pm
grendel unfunny
we keep him around for the
excessive post count
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post #14 of 69
10/25/00 at 4:24pm
Woke to wrong number
Fifth time in under a week
Pee then check the boards

Connect a few times
Disconnection unexplained
Virus from porn sites?

Defragment halted
Must Scandisk first, scan complete
Defrag halts again

"You must scandisk first"
Your mother's a whore, laptop
"Are you my daddy?"
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post #15 of 69
10/25/00 at 4:25pm
Thread Starter 

Blofeld holds record
For most CHUD facts being used
Logan just wants one.


Ok, new game. I start, you guys finish:

Babydoll T-Shirts
How many did Nick order?
_____________________


Star Wars DVD
Lucas wants to "get it right"
____________________


CHUD Fact of the day:
_______________________
_________________


Endless bickering:
_______________________
_________________

Staying on topic
______________________
_________________


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post #16 of 69
10/25/00 at 4:35pm
Staying on topic
Is important for a few
But Spidey will rock
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post #17 of 69
10/25/00 at 4:56pm
Star Wars DVD
Lucas wants to "get it right"
Makes us wait too long
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post #18 of 69
10/25/00 at 5:34pm
Babydoll T-Shirts
How many did Nick order?
One for him, that's all.

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post #19 of 69
10/25/00 at 5:36pm
CHUD Fact of the day:
It will not belong to me
Nor Logan either
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post #20 of 69
10/26/00 at 12:41pm
endless bickering:
"fuck lucas and the matrix!"
flames will multiply.

despite shoe-size posts:
when it comes right down to it,
micah's is biggest.

<shudder>,
/willko.
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post #21 of 69
10/27/00 at 2:21am
Near midnight at CHUD
Who is lurking in shadows?
I don't want to know

Dungeons & Dragons
The sky abounds with dragons
But where is dungeon?

And small unicorn?
she sounded more like a sheep
Uni, I'll miss her

Bruce Campbell, the King
"Give me some sugar, baby"
Nick got to meet him

Coyote's haikus
five-seven-five, so calming
I can't stop it now

The darkness falls down
As always, night comes to CHUD
But shadows still smirk
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post #22 of 69
10/27/00 at 6:19am
"Fatal Error" Why?
Does that mean someone DIED? Who?
My f*cking laptop.

Corn Flakes, Corn Flakes, Corn
Flakes, Corn Flakes, Corn Flakes, Corn Flakes
Corn Flakes, Corn Flakes, Corn

I want to beat a
Zombie down with a tree branch
Just to mess with them
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post #23 of 69
10/27/00 at 8:49am
This topic burns now
Like a beacon of knowledge
But we are still dumb
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post #24 of 69
10/27/00 at 12:33pm
Thread Starter 
New posters show up
Met welcoming comittee
And they stayed?! Twisted.

Oh, and hey-Bowler?
The dungeons in the preview
The spinny thing lies.
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post #25 of 69
10/28/00 at 3:24pm
Just one post away
The great millenial mark
Am I so shameless?

------------------
You have drained me by speaking.
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post #26 of 69
10/28/00 at 3:50pm
Yes, you are
but it is due
to this very fact
we love you and of course
strangling is nice too

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post #27 of 69
10/30/00 at 6:33pm
Thread Starter 
My meter's off today
All have too many syllables
At least my speeling's good.
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post #28 of 69
10/30/00 at 7:38pm

In the land of CHUD
Hot Animal Machine is
hated quite often

Luckily, Django
is there to take the heat off
He makes me look good

Why don't they like HAM?
They don't like to hear the truth
Must learn to lie well

Never lie to you
The "Three I's" are all I know
But you don't get it

I like all of you
Except for General Zod
I don't like to kneel

Intensity is outlawed
Still I try to make a point
Try to be funny

And though I can fight
I would much rather recite
That's Entertainment




[This message has been edited by Hot Animal Machine (edited 10-30-2000).]
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post #29 of 69
10/30/00 at 7:45pm
Nick is a good egg
He made CHUD a place to learn
and a place to play

There are good guys here
CHUD is the cool place to be
Not with Harry Knowles

Sewer Chewers rule
Always know that they will say
some demented shit

Some sewer Chewers stay
Long enough to be legends
They can never die

I miss Blofeld, Matt
you used to be here a lot
Did you go away?

Met Johnny Butane
face to face in Chicago
He is now my friend

I will help him when
Creature Corner comes again
I won't tell his name

People are friends here
Lowshot, grendel, Eddie5
Working on my script

OKAY, my brain is falling apart...
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post #30 of 69
10/30/00 at 8:53pm
Never fear, Jason,
It's simply hard to speak with
Uncle Mitch in mouth
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post #31 of 69
10/30/00 at 9:10pm
Thread Starter 
No more haiku, now
My brain is falling apart
Can't seem to finish.
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post #32 of 69
10/31/00 at 12:33am
I tried to make the words
But they refused to obey
Even now they run away
From my intense Haiku grip
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post #33 of 69
10/31/00 at 5:47pm
An exotic haiku,
simple, yet true
to find the one
which rhymes
with the word, Timbuktu.

Me and Tim
a camping we went
we spied three madiens
in a tent

Since they were three
and we were two
I bucked one
and Tim, bucked two.

[This message has been edited by Will (edited 11-11-2000).]
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post #34 of 69
10/31/00 at 7:45pm
Five beats appear first
Seven syllables come next
Then follows five more

A Haiku can rhyme?
No, not even once young Will
Yes, I correct you!


------------------
You have drained me by speaking.
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post #35 of 69
10/31/00 at 7:49pm
Playground in ether
Great fun with zeroes and ones
CHUD is my relief
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post #36 of 69
10/31/00 at 9:21pm
hey look, a lurker!
why did he stop in today?
must think we have food.
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post #37 of 69
10/31/00 at 9:30pm
Look all, it's Timmy!
Must be home from school with flu.
Plays well with others.
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post #38 of 69
10/31/00 at 9:52pm
ALL girls are "timmy"
until proven otherwise
just ask girl creeture!
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post #39 of 69
10/31/00 at 10:26pm
-------
The wind blows the memory
of summer towards the sun
The laughter is fading
Winter is here.

The rain falls gently
the sword still
does not cut
Life like a butterfly
is now gone.
----------------
Now there is a haiku
for which I don't mean to bother
but I'm starting to think
Logan might be django's real father
he's bound to correct it
and we all know its true,
Sometimes he's a bastard
sometimes he's a shrew
sometimes he deserves a
great big fuckU.

I knew you'd correct it too. How about the above one? Is it Okay?
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post #40 of 69
10/31/00 at 10:27pm
Hi Timmy!
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post #41 of 69
10/31/00 at 10:51pm
on the internet,
all girls are men named timmy,
and lust for butane.

search the message boards
for some topics containing
the keyword "timmy".

welcome, new chewer.
a female (supposedly)!
now a chewer-ette?

/willko.
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post #42 of 69
11/9/00 at 12:54pm
Thread Starter 
Made for a woman.
Yet strong enough for a man.
Oops! The secret's out.
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post #43 of 69
11/9/00 at 11:44pm
"Made for a woman.
Yet strong enough for a man." But you'd better watch out for grendel cause he's after your gland.
Oops! The secret's out."
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post #44 of 69
11/10/00 at 2:39am
I am now on the floor, laughing like nuts

Chud Poetry Corner?

"Mommy..look a poetry place..whats this word..f...u...c...*"

toodles
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post #45 of 69
11/10/00 at 3:25am
The Timmy factor
It's a term of endearment
Sorry! I have tits


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post #46 of 69
11/10/00 at 5:17am
nick sells baby-dolls,
chewers must have tits, you see?
else they're crossdressers.

haiku section flames,
i thought this thread would die fast,
but we keep counting.

forty thousand posts,
the chud sewer mutates on.
soon all will bow down.

chin versus lambert...
why is there any conflict?
there is no contest.

hail to the king, baby,
/willko.
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post #47 of 69
11/10/00 at 5:35pm
Hey thanks wilko, but I am not REALLY a King, the ladies all just call me that.
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post #48 of 69
11/10/00 at 7:52pm
The conflict must end
Christophe and The Chin should do
a buddy cop flick

Claymores and chainsaws
"Army" had Scottish Deadites
So that works out fine

Campbell and Lambert
These men should rule as brothers
'cause they are both cool
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post #49 of 69
11/11/00 at 9:01am
Thread Starter 
Trying to picture, now
Those two actors side by side
ACK! My head implodes.
Reply
post #50 of 69
11/11/00 at 1:45pm
Lambert is a hack
Please let the Canaru crawl
Up his urethra
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