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The Envy Thread

post #1 of 13
3/17/03 at 12:29pm
Thread Starter 
Last night I finished my second novel after over a year of work. And now this afternoon I'll be leavin' on a jet plane for a solid week in sunny Jamaica, filled to the brim with scuba diving, parasailing, free booze, nude beaches, and horrific, screaming shark attacks. Plus, I've got a four inch penis, so assuming that the nude beaches are either filled with midgits or Asian software developers, I'll be able to inspire fear and terror in their tiny little hearts. So right now, I envy...ME.

Besides Natty Rasta Slata Mon, which Chewer do you envy and why? Or why should we envy you?

Make it funny, folks. The wait for five o'clock is killing me here...
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post #2 of 13
3/17/03 at 12:46pm
Envy is an ugly emotion. But in the sake of playing your game, here goes.

I envy:

- Shelby's boobs
- Kitty's wicked smile
- Gracie Lou's warm heart
- Micah's fair mindedness
- Nick's ambition
- Tony & his dad's DVD collection
- Blofeld's wit
- Ludwig's caribou

I'm sure there's more. I'll add later.
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post #3 of 13
3/17/03 at 12:53pm
Right now? I'd have to go with the me camp.

Next week, I take the first step into a larger world. I'm moving out, not only out of my folks', but out of the city, and taking a new job (as most of you will know and are probably sick of hearing about). This'll be giant steps, but I'm both nervous and dead excited, especially to start work with one of my good friends at CHUD, and also in a profession which I have strived since school to work in.

It'll be hard. But every little bit'll be worth it. Which is why I'd never want to be anyone but myself right now.

Okay... maybe Alyson Hannigan's boyfriend...
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post #4 of 13
3/17/03 at 1:12pm
Quote:
Charles Brigden:
Okay... maybe Alyson Hannigan's boyfriend...
I think you mean, Fiancee. Normally I'd be full of hate, but I really like Alexis Denisof.
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post #5 of 13
3/17/03 at 1:16pm
Charles' post above basically lists all the reason why I envy him.
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post #6 of 13
3/17/03 at 1:24pm
While I don't envy anyone particularly, I am certainly happy for young master Fett and anyone else who has a job that they consider fun/cool. And hope to be there myself soon.
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post #7 of 13
3/17/03 at 1:27pm
Right now the honors would be going to my painter who'll be raking in some fat cash to the tune of $4000 for painting our house this week.

Chewerwise...other than Nick. It would have to be Whitehead. Everyone knows about the Stan Lee note (lucky bastard)...on top of that, he's helming (from this perspective) two magazines in two seperate fields that I love, movies & games. Extremely witty, but more importantly able to synthesize his thoughts coherently and to the point whilst infusing it all with that unique brand of chud humor.

Expect the head of Paltrow to arrive sometime soon Dan.
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post #8 of 13
3/17/03 at 1:44pm
Quote:
mongycore:
Expect the head of Paltrow to arrive sometime soon Dan.
Great. Another decapitated starlet head. Looks like I'll need a bigger fridge.
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post #9 of 13
3/17/03 at 1:47pm
Thread Starter 
No more room, huh? In that case...

<Pickles Bill Cosby's freshly-severed head. Hums a jaunty tune. Eats Jello pudding. More humming.>
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post #10 of 13
3/17/03 at 2:10pm
I haven't brushed my teeth officially in about 2 weeks. Envy me.

Note: I try to make up for it with gum and mints, and toothpicks help after meals. But no brush, and no paste.
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post #11 of 13
3/17/03 at 2:15pm
I envy anyone who can knit.

The end.
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post #12 of 13
3/17/03 at 3:11pm
I envy those with legs.

Because I've got no legs.

Wait. What are those?

Oh.

Nevermind.
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post #13 of 13
3/19/03 at 2:12pm
I envy my dog...What a freaking life that bastard has.

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