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The 4 hour Safeway orientation cluster fuck

post #1 of 13
6/9/03 at 11:22pm
Thread Starter 
So today I went in for my orientation at my summer job. I was not prepared to sit on my ass for four hours in front of a computer having to torture my eyes to the most mind dumbing and boring tidbits of how to be a darling Safeway employee.
The computer program presented this little pearls of wisdom through text, voice, and oh so cute little video demonsrations! (Aparently every employee and customer are on a first person basis and just cannot stop smiling). Oh yeah you cannot make the thing go any faster. And when it presents little quizes, after you answer it correctly (which you would have to be an absolute mindless sod not to) the computer has to read the question again stating that YES! I did in fact answer the question correctly and then state why it was the right choice!

Actually the only very small bright light was that the sexual harrasment clips were rather amusing. They at least included crotch to shoulder brushing.

I need a beer.
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post #2 of 13
6/10/03 at 4:38am
Well, when you chose Safeway as a place to work...
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post #3 of 13
6/10/03 at 11:24am
Thread Starter 
Yeah well its a bitch to get a job in my town.

And I'm not exactly thrilled to be working side by side with woman who look like Lewie Anderson or the Mole Man.

Not to mention drunken homless trying to get some maddog.
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post #4 of 13
6/10/03 at 3:38pm
Hey man, lay off! I am not homeless you self-righteous prick.
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post #5 of 13
6/10/03 at 4:23pm
A refigerator carton equipped with internet access does not technically qualify as a "home" (Unless you had Christopher Lowell decorate it for you).
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post #6 of 13
6/10/03 at 6:19pm
I am going to tell you this right now as a former VONS(Safeway) employee...

This job will be one of the weirdest ever. Drama left and right (especially with baggers...errr.... courtesy clerks) and you will get screwed in your hours.

Of course that could been my store only.

As for training...BAH!

I had to do that crap for 12 hours with 8 hours one day of listening to tons of stuff from an actual person. At least your computer has a personality.
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post #7 of 13
6/10/03 at 8:03pm
Thread Starter 
By the way having to memorize fucking vegitables and fruits SUCKS.
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post #8 of 13
6/10/03 at 8:05pm
Thread Starter 
oh yeah first weirdo of the week.
I was waiting for this lady to pull her car up (I was practicing bagging, yeah exciting I know) and this dude with this weird neck problem mutters something about standing outside will make my shoes black. Keep in mind my shoes are already black.

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post #9 of 13
6/10/03 at 8:26pm
Wait till the people come around for money outside the store. That's always fun.

You are already memorizing codes though? Or just the names of the vegies and fruits?
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post #10 of 13
6/10/03 at 10:04pm
Thread Starter 
Both actually.
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post #11 of 13
6/10/03 at 11:23pm
Brian, I think I would feel the same way if I were in your place. Corporate pep talk leaves me limp and lifeless.
I have always found that there is an insidious side to supermarkets. It's nice to buy good food and find what you need. On the other hand, there is tension; the carts with the gimp wheels, the too-narrow isles, the lines where you know everyone hates that there is someone in front of them, the asshole drivers in the parking lots, all sorts of things like that.
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post #12 of 13
6/24/03 at 11:40pm
Thread Starter 
Okay this will be my job bitching thread or whatever you might want me to call it.

I'm currently a stock boy or man whichever you prefer. I'm working in different areas such as dairy, beer, and meat (I'm a meat packer, Mom is so proud.

Actually to be fair all of the other empolyees are very nice. I am however used to dealing with stupid Empolyees from working 4 years in a craft store but still they annoy me to no end. Especially when some guy asks "hey were is the canned green beans?" I wanted to inform him that it was time for him to turn his penis in. No man asks for directions. Besides in big bold letters it says CANNED GOODS.

By the way working with beer is quite fun. Its the only time I get passionate about my job. Even the guy who was training me said "hey arent you done yet?" You see I was making sure all the beer was straightened, the labels facing forwards, all the beer was on the shelves, etc etc. Also I had to lick each beer bottle so that took awhile.

I've been doing some meat packing this week (heh heh) and its sorta another cluster fuck.
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post #13 of 13
6/25/03 at 4:49am
Just don't be packing any fudge will you there...

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