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Nordling's Fortune Cookie

post #1 of 46
6/19/03 at 5:59pm
Thread Starter 
I'm at work, but I'll try my best to keep up with this...

You're at a great Chinese restaurant. Here comes the bill. Who wants their fortune told? Crack that sumbitch open and let me know!
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post #2 of 46
6/19/03 at 6:01pm
Hit me!
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post #3 of 46
6/19/03 at 6:02pm
Thread Starter 
Diva: Beware stubbly drag queens.
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post #4 of 46
6/19/03 at 6:04pm
FUCK ME!
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post #5 of 46
6/19/03 at 6:10pm
Thread Starter 
Ugly Goblin Boy: Peace of mind is within your grasp once you kill all your enemies.
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post #6 of 46
6/19/03 at 6:17pm
Oooh, I'll take one. Pretty please?
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post #7 of 46
6/19/03 at 6:36pm
Yeah. Don't make me urp my Mushu Pork on you.
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post #8 of 46
6/19/03 at 6:56pm
Thread Starter 
Kitty: Stand steadfast as a tree in the wind, and they will break for you.
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post #9 of 46
6/19/03 at 6:57pm
Thread Starter 
billz3bub: 12, 36, 45, 46, 7, 19.
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post #10 of 46
6/19/03 at 8:02pm
*CRACK!*
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post #11 of 46
6/19/03 at 8:12pm
Thread Starter 
Kronos: Avoid toothpicks in Turkish restaurants.
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post #12 of 46
6/19/03 at 8:17pm
Remove Sledge-O-Matic from pants, place cookie on mat with Chinese Zodiac, wind up, and smackita.
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post #13 of 46
6/19/03 at 8:23pm
Thread Starter 
Scott: Spend money frivolously.

(Don't you hate advice fortune cookies? I'd rather have my future told in a vague way.)
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post #14 of 46
6/19/03 at 8:24pm
...Hit me...
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post #15 of 46
6/19/03 at 8:28pm
Thread Starter 
Dances with Chainsaws: Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving to where you can't find them.
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post #16 of 46
6/19/03 at 9:24pm
Mmmmmm....Fortune cookies. I'm in!
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post #17 of 46
6/19/03 at 9:58pm
Quote:
Nordling, you got any Beeman's?:
billz3bub: 12, 36, 45, 46, 7, 19.
If I win I'm not splitting.
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post #18 of 46
6/19/03 at 10:07pm
Do me!
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post #19 of 46
6/20/03 at 5:29am
I love Chinese. Give it to me.
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post #20 of 46
6/20/03 at 9:43am
Mmmkay...let's see if your fortune cookie magic beats the one I got yesterday: A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains. Hit me, baby!
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post #21 of 46
6/20/03 at 9:45am
I actually got a fortune that says "It tastes sweet." It's hanging on the wall in my cubicle.

I'd take another please.
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post #22 of 46
6/20/03 at 3:15pm
Damn you, Nord! Damn you, man! I had to eat my leftover chinese food without a fresh fortune! My handful of patience has run out and I will never speak to you again!!!

Well, at least not until the next time I see you. wink
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post #23 of 46
6/20/03 at 3:18pm
Go for it, sir.
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post #24 of 46
6/20/03 at 3:23pm
Messa wanta a cooky plezzz!
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post #25 of 46
6/20/03 at 4:18pm
S'cuse me waiter, but where the hell is my fucking cookie?
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post #26 of 46
6/20/03 at 4:43pm
Service is kinda slow at this restaurant?!?

Where's my waiter?
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post #27 of 46
6/20/03 at 7:39pm
He's busy trapping flies to drop in your soup.
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post #28 of 46
6/20/03 at 10:19pm
I'm not sure I'd order anything here, I just saw the menu:

<a href="http://www.pages2send.com/chinesefood.htm" target="_blank">http://www.pages2send.com/chinesefood.htm</a>
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post #29 of 46
6/21/03 at 8:25am
Thread Starter 
Sorry guys, I HULKed out yesterday and didn't get back here. Here ya go!

Sister Gracie Lou: Remember, you must pillage before you can burn.
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post #30 of 46
6/21/03 at 8:27am
Thread Starter 
DJ Dylan: To get what you want, you must commit yourself forever to dark forces.
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post #31 of 46
6/21/03 at 8:31am
Thread Starter 
Alice: Those who never climb never go up by climbing.
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post #32 of 46
6/21/03 at 8:32am
Thread Starter 
MizNomer: Nothing is certain but the little piece of food that always gets stuck in your teeth during a date.
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post #33 of 46
6/21/03 at 8:36am
Thread Starter 
Jankis: Evil thoughts come from your heart.
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post #34 of 46
6/21/03 at 8:37am
Thread Starter 
Fett: Right now, someone is watching you on the Internet. Smile.
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post #35 of 46
6/21/03 at 8:38am
Thread Starter 
HellSpawn: The star of poverty is shining on you.
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post #36 of 46
6/21/03 at 8:40am
Thread Starter 
NOWHEREman: Lose ten to fifteen pounds with the Atkins Diet.
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post #37 of 46
6/21/03 at 9:16am
Quote:
Nordling, you got any Beeman's?:
MizNomer: Nothing is certain but the little piece of food that always gets stuck in your teeth during a date.
So far this hasn't occurred. The date, that is. Not the food. Lying fortune cookie!
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post #38 of 46
6/21/03 at 3:50pm
Quote:
Nordling, you got any Beeman's?:
Sorry guys, I HULKed out yesterday and didn't get back here. Here ya go!

Sister Gracie Lou: Remember, you must pillage before you can burn.
Oooooooh, pillage then burn...got it!
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post #39 of 46
6/22/03 at 12:43am
Bake me a cookie!
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post #40 of 46
6/22/03 at 2:59am
Thread Starter 
Mr. Krueger: That won't heal if you don't stop picking.
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post #41 of 46
6/22/03 at 3:13am
The poo poo plater isn't as fun as it sounds...
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post #42 of 46
6/22/03 at 5:11am
My Chinese sucks....of course that's what I pay her for.
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post #43 of 46
6/22/03 at 12:16pm
ah, yes, please dispense your fortune cookie wisdom upon me, oh wise one.
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post #44 of 46
6/22/03 at 12:25pm
Thread Starter 
Sethos: No matter where you go, there they are.
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post #45 of 46
6/22/03 at 7:28pm
phew, I was worried that I was just being paranoid for them being there.....
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post #46 of 46
6/23/03 at 9:44am
Quote:
Nordling, you got any Beeman's?:
Jankis: Evil thoughts come from your heart.
You have no idea.
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