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Please review my Stories!

post #1 of 11
9/1/02 at 3:21pm
Thread Starter 
Please Read and Review!

<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=938859" target="_blank">"The Real Full House" Rated: R</a>

<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=934380" target="_blank">"Clerks: The Next Day" Rated: R</a>[/QB][/QUOTE]
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post #2 of 11
9/1/02 at 3:27pm
Ah - The Real Full House was a classic. 9/10

I would try to space your lines though.
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post #3 of 11
9/1/02 at 4:57pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks! Anybody else?
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post #4 of 11
9/1/02 at 7:31pm
Moved to CHUDSTories.
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post #5 of 11
9/1/02 at 7:37pm
Ah, love the sig, Blo....
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post #6 of 11
9/1/02 at 8:39pm
I've just finished watching the first season.
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post #7 of 11
9/1/02 at 8:55pm
Thread Starter 
What do you guys think of my stories?
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post #8 of 11
9/1/02 at 9:25pm
Your "Clerks" fanfic was exactly like a "Clerks"-film or the short-lived "Clerks"-animated series. As a fanfic, you have successfully emulated the "Clerks" universe. I swear though, some of the scenes reminded me of the cartoon.

Your "Full House" is a bit "bizarre" because I'm not too familiar with the show. I did see that it's a perversion of a supposedly family-friendly show. But isn't this a "skit" rather than a "story"? Not to be nitpicky, but can you spot the errors here?:

They rush threw the kitchen
Stephanie and D.J together: Bye Dad, Bye Uncle Jesse, Bye Joey
Danny: I think something is up with those two.
Joey: What do you get when you through a red rock in a green river?
----------
Stephanie and D.J comes threw the door Danny is waiting for them. Stephanie runs upstairs.

For fanfics they're pretty good. That website's got tons of pop-ads though.
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post #9 of 11
9/1/02 at 9:38pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Voltes Tips Mr. Pink:
Your "Clerks" fanfic was exactly like a "Clerks"-film or the short-lived "Clerks"-animated series. As a fanfic, you have successfully emulated the "Clerks" universe. I swear though, some of the scenes reminded me of the cartoon.

Your "Full House" is a bit "bizarre" because I'm not too familiar with the show. I did see that it's a perversion of a supposedly family-friendly show. But isn't this a "skit" rather than a "story"? Not to be nitpicky, but can you spot the errors here?:

They rush threw the kitchen
Stephanie and D.J together: Bye Dad, Bye Uncle Jesse, Bye Joey
Danny: I think something is up with those two.
Joey: What do you get when you through a red rock in a green river?
----------
Stephanie and D.J comes threw the door Danny is waiting for them. Stephanie runs upstairs.

For fanfics they're pretty good. That website's got tons of pop-ads though.
It's hard fixing your mistakes on the story. Because the site makes ou have to remove it and make another file so it gets annoying.
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post #10 of 11
9/2/02 at 12:16pm
Thread Starter 
Sorry Guys. But I need reviews here.
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post #11 of 11
9/2/02 at 3:06pm
I didn't even get a chance to read the bloody things because there were so many pop-ups that Pop-Up Killer was hammering out a staccato disco beat.

And don't tell me to turn off the Pop-Up Killer because I like knowing when the ad-servers are trying to put crap on my system.
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