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4 New Lumiere Stories up!

post #1 of 53
8/14/02 at 2:05pm
Thread Starter 
Wow, I gotta say guys, awsome.
We've got the grounds now for a lot more stories for this place.

Richard Disckson
Michael Ashleigh Finn
and JW Hart
You're stories were all great.
I can't wait for more guys!
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post #2 of 53
8/14/02 at 2:15pm
You mean I actually have to do WORK now?

Christ. I'll get on top of it as soon as I finish watching Season two of Buffy...I've got three more eps.
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post #3 of 53
8/14/02 at 6:42pm
Four stories, two thousand words, and not a date among them.

Thanks, guys....
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post #4 of 53
8/14/02 at 7:02pm
Rath, I think you need not be so desperate for dates. <heh> You might assume that if the story doesn't indicate a time period, that "current day" is a good guess.
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post #5 of 53
8/14/02 at 7:11pm
Okay. Current day then. That's acceptable.
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post #6 of 53
8/14/02 at 10:12pm
And like I've said before, I'm not going to shove a date into a story. I'll reference something contemporary to the time I'm setting the story in if it fits with what I'm writing, but you won't see "It was a spring day in 1933" or anything like that. I'll simply indicate the date in the e-mail when I send it to Hastur.
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post #7 of 53
8/14/02 at 11:10pm
Naturally, we can't make the job too easy. *grin* However, there is nothing wrong with contacting the author, if you cannot figure out the time(s).

And, even though the Bible will be date driven, it doesn't have to be specifically date driven. 1800's is a time that would be acceptable, or Present Day, of Before the Dinosaurs, if it's appropriate.

And you wonder why I don't envy you the job you volunteered for? *grin*
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post #8 of 53
8/15/02 at 10:17am
Forget it. I was being bitchy. I'm gonna go...you know..do work now or something. I finished Poxy's second story in the Bible and will have the other three done sometime today.

Question:

Is "Mr. Happy" a seperate being in addition to a weapon, and thus would fall under the "people" category? And does the multiple personaltiy disorder count as a "supernatural occurance?"

Question Two:

The one about the guy in the mental institution, the Old Mill, is the mental hospital in Lumiere or is it separete from the town?

Thanks.
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post #9 of 53
8/15/02 at 4:23pm
three more up now.
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post #10 of 53
8/15/02 at 11:41pm
Thread Starter 
*L*
Mr. Happy was his knife. I wouldn't put that under the catagory of people. The voices in his head though, you might find room under "Supernatural occurances" for them.

That being just a taste of whats in store for part 2. Although I'm still dubious as to whether I will submit 2 or not...

Should I?
Claudia's feedback on it was good, but I'm still trying to wrap my own head around my own storyline here. Should the first stand alone?
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post #11 of 53
8/16/02 at 4:00am
The mental institution should probably be in town, and funded by a major, sinister corp.
Because they'll need it.
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post #12 of 53
8/16/02 at 1:52pm
My story's up. It's the shit, as in it's shit.

Inspired by Charlotte Church.
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post #13 of 53
8/16/02 at 2:14pm
Quote:
RathBandu Fed It To The Gimp:
My story's up. It's the shit, as in it's shit.
Well let me reassure you it's not shit. You've got some great turns of phrase in there, and the language has an air of legend and period to it.

But it does read like it was written to fit into the town Bible, rather than as a story in it's own right. The story is a strong one - classic themes at work there - but too much time is spent setting up family trees, timescales and locations, which have no bearing on the meat of the story. This robs the final twist of it's power because when we arrive there, it feels rushed and we don't really know anything about Brian other than his family history, so his fate isn't as poignant as it could have been.

I get the feeling this would have worked better if it hadn't been restricted to the 500 word limit.

But it ain't shit.
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post #14 of 53
8/16/02 at 2:40pm
Quote:
RathBandu Fed It To The Gimp:
My story's up. It's the shit, as in it's shit.

Inspired by Charlotte Church.
Not shit in the least. I'd love to see it beefed up. You could do a lot with more room.
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post #15 of 53
8/16/02 at 9:21pm
I read them all (bravo!) including the new one by yt which is pretty damn good. Keep 'em coming, people!
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post #16 of 53
8/17/02 at 10:15pm
BTW, as far as I'm concerned, the "Cutter's Mill" mentioned in LAST CALL could easily be the same Old Mill in my story...but that's Mr. Hart's call, as he may have something else pl;anned that doesn't fit with what happened in my story.
Mr. Hart?

McGinty's & Pat Garrett may be the first shared setting/character to be used by another author...it's just too full of possibilities. wink

BTW, we need a name for the mental institution, anyone have any ideas? Roanoke Center for the Criminally Insane? "I only had a glimpse, and that was enough to land me here in [insert name of institution]." is an editing typo.
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post #17 of 53
8/18/02 at 2:27am
Whoa, seeing more Lumiere Stories brought tears to my eyes. I just want to write this now as I missed two weeks of post-whoring.
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post #18 of 53
8/18/02 at 2:53am
Wow, all of the Lumiere stories are awesome! The standout for me is Andrew Winter's "Crisis Averted." Johnny is definitely an interesting character and I would love to read more about him.

Who's Andrew Winter?
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post #19 of 53
8/18/02 at 4:33am
Johnny the homicidal maniac
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post #20 of 53
8/18/02 at 5:15am
Well, it's Johnny's pen name, anyways. And if you see Mr. Happy start posting, just try not to excite him.
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post #21 of 53
8/18/02 at 1:21pm
"Last Call" is a great concept -- I love the idea of the dead stopping by this little bar on their way to wherever it is they're going. There's all kinds of story possibilities in there, both featuring the bar and also tangentially related to it.

A quick question -- does the bar physically exist? I mean, could a non-dead person walk in there and get a drink and be oblivious to the supernatural goings-on?
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post #22 of 53
8/18/02 at 1:40pm
Quote:
A Night at the Poxbury:

A quick question -- does the bar physically exist? I mean, could a non-dead person walk in there and get a drink and be oblivious to the supernatural goings-on?
The bar does physically exist. As far as what happens when a normal comes in when the dead is having a drink, let me think on that.
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post #23 of 53
8/18/02 at 1:56pm
Quote:
I am Don Coyote,the Man of LaMancha:
BTW, as far as I'm concerned, the "Cutter's Mill" mentioned in LAST CALL could easily be the same Old Mill in my story...but that's Mr. Hart's call, as he may have something else pl;anned that doesn't fit with what happened in my story.
Mr. Hart?

McGinty's & Pat Garrett may be the first shared setting/character to be used by another author...it's just too full of possibilities. wink
As far as the mill, it'll work. I have a few ideas about the family who used to run it but nothing concrete.

And if anyone wants to use the bar feel free.
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post #24 of 53
8/18/02 at 2:08pm
SmegSmegSmegSmeg!!!!!!!

I can't believe I let that one through. I'madumbshit.

Sorry about that. I should have taken the (insert name...) out of your story Coyote, but I missed it. My apologies.

OK. I sent another batch of to the wonderful people who get these up, so we should be seeing some more soon.

And now, some answers to your questions:

Name for Asylum: The town is large enough to have one, and I'm all for any name that comes out of this. It can't be the Roanoke Center though, even though it rolls of the tongue very well. How about the Croatan Center?

Crisis Averted: Well, amazingly enough, there is a second Crisis Averted story, and it does carry the previous story while standing alone. Smartly done stuff.

Last Call: Like many of the stories, this one is a teaser to open all kinds of possibilities. I really would love to see something in future, and I am wondering if the bar tender is used to this or not. Does anyone else know what happens there? More! More! *grin*

Old Mill: If we have a mill, there's forest, right? Good. The next batch will have a few things that are tangental to it.
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post #25 of 53
8/18/02 at 6:03pm
"Sorry about that. I should have taken the (insert name...) out of your story Coyote, but I missed it. My apologies."

Good, cause I know where you live.
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post #26 of 53
8/18/02 at 6:20pm
seven more up now.
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post #27 of 53
8/18/02 at 6:25pm
Is there a word limit?
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post #28 of 53
8/18/02 at 6:55pm
I found it.

500, damnit.

I cut 100 already and have 47 more to cut. This is gonna be hard.
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post #29 of 53
8/18/02 at 7:17pm
Thank you, Dave...Hastur's reaction:
"ALREADY? Daaaaamn.....!"
The 500 word limit was for the inital batch of stories. You may want to hold onto that story so you don't have to trim it down so much wink
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post #30 of 53
8/18/02 at 7:20pm
OH FUCK.

I already did.

It was 700 and now it's 500. Shit.
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post #31 of 53
8/18/02 at 7:23pm
Yay. I got everything back thanks to CTRL-Z.

I love that key.
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post #32 of 53
8/18/02 at 7:35pm
Writer's tip...never actually throw away revamped material, save it later vor a rainy day wink Just save a new version of the doc.
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post #33 of 53
8/18/02 at 7:53pm
Quote:
Hastur:

Last Call: Like many of the stories, this one is a teaser to open all kinds of possibilities. I really would love to see something in future, and I am wondering if the bar tender is used to this or not. Does anyone else know what happens there? More! More! *grin*
More will be coming milady, quite soon.
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post #34 of 53
8/18/02 at 8:32pm
Guys, as I've been busilly shitting my pants about this college situation and getting ready and preparing to take the biggest leap of my life into one of the largest and greatest cites in the world, i haven't progressed very far with the bible. I promise promise PROMISE that I will work on it some more this week but will work double-time once i get to NYU. Once I'm out from under my father's grip, I'll have a lot of free time.

Sorry about dis...Capice?
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post #35 of 53
8/18/02 at 10:09pm
Umm, far as I'm concerned, school takes precedence. If there's a time to have a delay, now's a good time, anyways. All respective authors can find info easily on the main page...we're not drowining in details, yet wink
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post #36 of 53
8/18/02 at 10:41pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Voltes Kicked It @ T-Dot, Eh?:
Wow, all of the Lumiere stories are awesome! The standout for me is Andrew Winter's "Crisis Averted." Johnny is definitely an interesting character and I would love to read more about him.

Who's Andrew Winter?
Thanks A LOT man! You have no idea how good it feels to hear someone say that. Gets me all riled up to fucking FIX my sequels.

Claudia, if you could send me the two versions of pt. 2 i sent you it would be reaaally helpful. I was dumb and saved over the original. Hope it doesn't drive you nuts that I keep revising it. I have a larger scope in mind now... and need the original.

oh, one more thing.
Dan (Whitehead) Man, our characters need to cross paths at somepoint!(yours from The Calling and mine from Crisis Averted ) If you don't already have a story plotted out, I would love to try and do a cross-over. Send me an E-mail if you get a chance.

I think it would be a great way of pulling all our stories together into one town; you know, the way that this was originally planned to work. Cross-overs would be a good way of doing it I think.
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post #37 of 53
8/19/02 at 2:23am
Quote:
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac:
Thanks A LOT man! You have no idea how good it feels to hear someone say that. Gets me all riled up to fucking FIX my sequels.
Yeah, he really made a powerful impression on me. This guy is like Chaotic Evil and I loved it. wink

Quote:
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac:
I think it would be a great way of pulling all our stories together into one town; you know, the way that this was originally planned to work. Cross-overs would be a good way of doing it I think.
This is where Rath's chronological bible comes into play. One author's character might be from a different timeframe so continuity errors will arise if we're not accurate about the chronology.

And, oh man, I just noticed that four of my stories are online now! (I'm William Coronel there.) What a rush seeing them! Comments please, and I urge you to be brutal. Just remember that I know your IP Addresses. wink
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post #38 of 53
8/19/02 at 2:24am
I sent one to Hastur and boy does it suck...

Anyway, Voltes, love them all. Man, did you go on spree or what? The dancing one (can't remember name, stupid brain turned off) was really fucking creepy.

Everyone else, great job. Crisis was really good as was Dan's.

All around great shit.
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post #39 of 53
8/19/02 at 2:26am
Love this line

Quote:
By the time they reached the third floor, the creature was already there. In its mouth, Golden’s Converse dangled from its tooth. Those were expensive, Phil thought then scolded himself again.
Creepy as fuck, and really just down to the meat. It flows like a river man (Ick, did I just type that?). A really good, fast read.
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post #40 of 53
8/19/02 at 2:50am
Thanks, Tony. I originally submitted just one story ("Cuts") then for some reason, I was compelled to take over the old, abandoned building. I tend to get creative when deadlines get really close. I like the pressure. Anyway, this old, abandoned building is pretty much fair game. I'm not very specific with its mythology/history but mines did (and will) include werewolf-like beasts, paranormal, and mindfuck activities.
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post #41 of 53
8/19/02 at 3:38am
I've read most of the stories and really enjoyed them.

(I have no idea how to write this without sounding like the little annoying guy in the back of the croud waving his hands screaming "What about me!?!" but here it goes.)

Grass was the first story I've ever wrote to be seen by someone other than teachers or friends. I need your imput form me not to suck in what I write so what did you think?

Also Hastur I have a name for the Asylum, Purgatory. In my view this is not was the Asylum's name is but a nickname given to it by the nurces and doctors that work there.
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post #42 of 53
8/19/02 at 10:47am
Re: The Mental Institution.

Since we didn't have a name, this is the entry:

Mental Hospital [Croatoan Center for the Mentally Ill?]-Lumiere's mental institution. Holds the MENTAL PATIENT who saw the PORTAL inside the OLD MILL. OMNITEQ REPRESENTATIVE(S) to question patients occasionally. First appears in Michael Ashleigh Finn's "The Old Mill".

Snooch to the motherfucking nooch.
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post #43 of 53
8/19/02 at 10:56am
Hellman House for the Mentally Ill.

The sign out front has HELLMAN HOUSE in big letters and "for the Mentally Ill" beneath in slightly smaller letters.

A popular teen rite of passage is to swipe the M-A-N from the sign so it reads Hell House.
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post #44 of 53
8/19/02 at 1:40pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
sleeplesslumber:
Grass was the first story I've ever wrote to be seen by someone other than teachers or friends. I need your imput form me not to suck in what I write so what did you think?
Grass was good! Similar kind of storyline to The last patch of ground , but thats totally fine dude.

Looks like the park has grown into a living terrain.... maybe because of a certain Haunted Old tree mentioned in Let him Dangle? Or maybe we have the works of another evil lurking beneath the city! Anyone wanna tackle that one?
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post #45 of 53
8/26/02 at 6:42pm
just put up a whole bunch more.
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post #46 of 53
8/26/02 at 7:54pm
All great stuff people!!!
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post #47 of 53
8/26/02 at 8:30pm
Dang mine didn't get up this time. Maybe next time...good stuff though. Class A my friends!
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post #48 of 53
8/26/02 at 9:45pm
Once again a decent story is ruined by a crap title.
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post #49 of 53
8/27/02 at 2:00am
Here is a deep aquifer of entertainment. So long as the tales come fresh and from dark depths, I shall drink them.
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post #50 of 53
8/27/02 at 2:30am
I'm really enjoying reading these stories, though I haven't gotten through all of them yet. For all the different styles it's interesting that the tones are so similar. You really get the feel of this place.

Sleepless, Grass was great. The twist totally made me laugh.

And Tony, you're insane! Coming Home is awesome. I love the nervous, urgent tone. It reminded me a little of an EC comic.

Great work all around!
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