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Good Wish - Bad Wish - Page 19

post #901 of 910
2/5/05 at 1:35am
Wish granted! You get an amazing deal ($120.95 before taxes) on Sumatra, Uzbekistan, and Columbia. Problem is, Uzbekistan and Columbia are involved in a great war, which you cannot stop, and Sumatra gets caught in the crossfire, and they can hardly sustain any more damages after the tsunami. Millions are killed as Uzbekistan marches through Sumatra, and then Columbia. The world community holds you responisble and has a war-crimes tribunal charging you with the war, and the tsunami. You are executed by a fire-extinguisher to the face, the one punishment you asked not to have.

I wish I had a pony.
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post #902 of 910
2/6/05 at 11:53am
Wish granted. However, every full moon your pony turns into a 320lb sex-crazed woman...and she's got her eyes on you. Ride 'em, cowboy!!


I wish I had a ton of money.
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post #903 of 910
2/6/05 at 8:05pm
Wish granted! After you attain your money, you finally fulfill your dream of being like Scrooge McDuck, and owning a giant money bin. One day you decide to go swimming in all of your gold coins. You learn that you shouldn't have installed that diving board so high up. The hard way. By diving into your money. Which kills you.



I wish that I had something really bad happen to me.
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post #904 of 910
2/10/05 at 9:04am
Wish granted. You get hit by a car. With all of the money that you win from the lawsuit, life is looking alright for you. But then you get addicted to phone sex and blow all of your cash on a random stranger named "Marshella".


I wish I was doing a job I liked.
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post #905 of 910
2/10/05 at 7:45pm
Granted! Your new job is easy! You get paid to sleep. You get paid a lot. You love your work so much that you end up doing it nonstop, forever.


I wish that I could make a movie.
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post #906 of 910
2/25/05 at 3:58pm
Granted. But unfortunately you soon beat out Uwe Boll for most hated at CHUD.com.

I wish I was back in Chicago.
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post #907 of 910
2/25/05 at 5:09pm
Granted! You are magically transported to Chicago on February 14, 1929. You get turned around a bit while looking for your car, and wind up in a parking garage with six other gentleman. The good news is that tomorrow your story will be on the front page of the Tribune, and someone will play you in the classic movie "Some Like it Hot". The bad news is, well, you'll be shot dead.


I wish that I could run like The Flash.
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post #908 of 910
2/25/05 at 5:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jai21

I wish that I could run like The Flash.
Granted! However, due to the high calorie & carb intake necessary to sustain that pace, you begin to put on weight... and lots of it. Eventually, you can no longer run it off & are confined to a wheelchair, prattling on and on about how you used to run to and from school every day, running uphill both ways, even in the snow. You die fat, ugly & alone.

I wish that I could bang my newest intern (she's pretty hot!).
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post #909 of 910
2/25/05 at 5:45pm
Granted! However, Fate, clearly opting for the obvious joke, makes the nation find out about it, and you bring shame to the Nixon Presidency.

I wish I could be in the Olympics.
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post #910 of 910
2/25/05 at 8:41pm
Thread Starter 
Your wish is granted!

The Olympics are a hillbilly family from Arkansas, who each weigh in the 400 lbs range. And, they are all male. Your wish to be "in" the Olympics is granted, however, your penis now hates you forever and refuses to work when you are with a woman.

I wish I wasn't deaf in one ear.
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