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I need a person smarter than me to explain why money = speech. If that's so, why can't I spend money on anything I want, like drugs? Why does my speech guarantee cover me being able to talk about drugs but not buy them?

Also, I need it explained to me how top donors can drop equal amounts of money on both parties and have that considered speech, since it is obvious that they are not showing any preference for either candidate but are engaging in bribery.

And beyond that, why isn't bribery protected speech?