I feel like a fraud.
I'm supposed to be involved with part-time college teaching for how it makes me feel. I'm supposed to do it for the kids. I'm supposed to do it because someday, it's what I want to do for a living. I'm supposed to do it part time and get paid little because it's a great opportunity. I'm supposed to not think of the money, even though I'm a full time student with only one other shitty part time job (which pays me MORE, if you break it down by the hour, by the way). I'm supposed to think that teaching is never going to pay well, and that nobody does it for the money. You do it for yourself. Because you love to teach.
But it's almost New Years Eve and I don't have enough money to cover rent for January because I have yet to receive a paycheck for all of December. And right now, all I can think about teaching---the only thing going through my head is...
FUCK this. It's not worth it.
Now, I'm supposed to sign and hand in my contract for this coming semester by Friday. I'm not sure if I want to do it. The students don't care. My boss doesn't care. The administration doesn't care. Hell, the guys who were supposed to send out the paychecks by the 23rd don't even care!
Why should I care? What's keeping me going on this?
Fucking frustrating, is what it is.
I'm supposed to be involved with part-time college teaching for how it makes me feel. I'm supposed to do it for the kids. I'm supposed to do it because someday, it's what I want to do for a living. I'm supposed to do it part time and get paid little because it's a great opportunity. I'm supposed to not think of the money, even though I'm a full time student with only one other shitty part time job (which pays me MORE, if you break it down by the hour, by the way). I'm supposed to think that teaching is never going to pay well, and that nobody does it for the money. You do it for yourself. Because you love to teach.
But it's almost New Years Eve and I don't have enough money to cover rent for January because I have yet to receive a paycheck for all of December. And right now, all I can think about teaching---the only thing going through my head is...
FUCK this. It's not worth it.
Now, I'm supposed to sign and hand in my contract for this coming semester by Friday. I'm not sure if I want to do it. The students don't care. My boss doesn't care. The administration doesn't care. Hell, the guys who were supposed to send out the paychecks by the 23rd don't even care!
Why should I care? What's keeping me going on this?
Fucking frustrating, is what it is.




