CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › Post here and I'll kill a member of your family.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Post here and I'll kill a member of your family.

post #1 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:38pm
Thread Starter 
Please don't request specific kills. I'm a very busy man, and I'm going to have to kill the first relative of yours that I can find. If I can catch a group of them together--say, at a family picnic or something--I'll do my best to slaughter as many of them as possible, but I make no promises.
Reply
post #2 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:40pm
Hit me
Reply
post #3 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:40pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by L7 Productions
Hit me
No. But I'll hit your grandmother. Right down the fucking stairs.
Reply
post #4 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:41pm
I'm sure you'll give up by the time you get this far down the list ...
Reply
post #5 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:42pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammy Jankis
I'm sure you'll give up by the time you get this far down the list ...
For little Ernesto's sake, you'd better hope that you're right.
Reply
post #6 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:46pm
My whole family read the Roon books. You wouldn't kill a fan would you?
Reply
post #7 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:47pm
does this include families outside of kansas? like... very much outside of kansas? i dare you.

[slowpulse]
Reply
post #8 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:50pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Fishy Kotex
My whole family read the Roon books. You wouldn't kill a fan would you?
If they read my books, this is a mercy killing and immediately gets bumped to the top of my list. I'll wear a clown suit and bring cockscrews.
Reply
post #9 of 29
1/9/04 at 1:51pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by slowpulse
does this include families outside of kansas? like... very much outside of kansas?
Of course. I'm a professional, and professionals deliver. In this case, I'll be delivering an ass filled with fist to your Uncle John.
Reply
post #10 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:05pm
Go ahead and Tommy DeVito yourself. Most of mia famiglia is of the made variety.
Reply
post #11 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:10pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Slater
If they read my books, this is a mercy killing and immediately gets bumped to the top of my list. I'll wear a clown suit and bring cockscrews.
OK I'll bite, what's a cocks... Oh wait, nevermind.
Reply
post #12 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:13pm
Any agents overseas, sparky ?
Reply
post #13 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:26pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Rob Rocco
Go ahead and Tommy DeVito yourself. Most of mia famiglia is of the made variety.
That's a funny coincidence, 'cause after I ran over your brother Bruno's limbs with my car, he almost made it to the hospital by dragging himself down the steet using only his teeth. So, see, that's kind of like irony or something! I think Bruno would have appreciated that. Also, I ran over him seven more times.
Reply
post #14 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:29pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Capt. Eucalyptus
OK I'll bite, what's a cocks... Oh wait, nevermind.
Speaking of biting cocks, have you talked to your little cousin Jamal lately? Yeah, me neither, because last time I saw him, my mouth was full of his severed penis.
Reply
post #15 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:30pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film
Any agents overseas, sparky ?
God is my agent. And right now, God has his big, bloody thumb hovering over your mother Edna's rustic English villa. And if there's one thing I know about God, it's that he LOVES squashing shit.
Reply
post #16 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:38pm
Rustic ? Villa ? You have clearly never been to south london, Mr Shhh.
Reply
post #17 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:43pm
Only thing he knows about England comes from the Lady Chatterly movies.
Reply
post #18 of 29
1/9/04 at 2:57pm
The fact that you actually know the name of a member of my family almost concerns me...
Reply
post #19 of 29
1/9/04 at 3:05pm
It is true, we as a race have about only one page of vanilla sex...
Reply
post #20 of 29
1/9/04 at 3:27pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Slater
Speaking of biting cocks, have you talked to your little cousin Jamal lately? Yeah, me neither, because last time I saw him, my mouth was full of his severed penis.
Well it's my first day of work at my internship and everyone just stared at me as I started laughing hysterically. Thanks a lot, dipshit.
Reply
post #21 of 29
1/9/04 at 3:47pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Slater
That's a funny coincidence, 'cause after I ran over your brother Bruno's limbs with my car, he almost made it to the hospital by dragging himself down the steet using only his teeth. So, see, that's kind of like irony or something! I think Bruno would have appreciated that. Also, I ran over him seven more times.
My sister-in-law Mary Francis told me that eight was Bruno's favourite number <sniff>

Thanks Slater. He would have wanted it that way.

Incidentally, Petey and Paulie should be pulling into your driveway right about now...
Reply
post #22 of 29
1/9/04 at 4:01pm
I'd just like to see you travel up to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia and try to take on some of my hillbilly brethren. There'd be pieces of you buried under fifteen different porches...
Reply
post #23 of 29
1/9/04 at 4:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by A-Pathetic
The fact that you actually know the name of a member of my family almost concerns me...
Your family is cool, so consider yourselves spared from the coming Slaterpocalypse. I did, however, kill a homeless guy that kind of looks like your dad.
Reply
post #24 of 29
1/9/04 at 4:13pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Matt Goldberg
Well it's my first day of work at my internship and everyone just stared at me as I started laughing hysterically. Thanks a lot, dipshit.
Does this internship offer time off for funeral leave? Just curious.

By the way...your sister's ovaries? DELISH.
Reply
post #25 of 29
1/9/04 at 4:18pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Jacob Singer
I'd just like to see you travel up to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia and try to take on some of my hillbilly brethren. There'd be pieces of you buried under fifteen different porches...
The best thing about your relatives is that at least half of them are legally retarded, which makes it relatively simple to rent an ice cream truck and stock it with buckshot pellets. The tards line up for fudgesicles, the tards go down like dominos.
Reply
post #26 of 29
1/9/04 at 4:30pm
AHA! It was a TRICK! Now the stills are MINE! ALL MINE!

Buwahahahahahaha!

<glug glug glug>

*hic*
Reply
post #27 of 29
1/9/04 at 5:03pm
I consider the majority of my family members to be expendable... fire away! I ain't scared!
Reply
post #28 of 29
1/9/04 at 5:10pm
Just make sure you put one in the brain.
Reply
post #29 of 29
1/9/04 at 5:37pm
Thread Starter 
I'm bored with this thread already. Sorry, Aphex and Eyeball and everybody else. You'll have to kill your family members yourself.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Chewers Catch-All
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › Post here and I'll kill a member of your family.