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Damn, Uwe, slow down a little...

post #1 of 30
1/21/04 at 9:09pm
Thread Starter 
Talk about being busy

Alone in the Dark is coming. Bloodrayne is creeping in the shadows. Dungeon Siege thinks it'll be the next 'Lord of the Rings'. Now Hunter: The Reckoning?

Somebody stop him before he adapts Custard's Revenge.
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post #2 of 30
1/21/04 at 9:28pm

Re: Damn, Uwe, slow down a little...

Quote:
Originally posted by T_Mike
[Dungeon Siege thinks it'll be the next 'Lord of the Rings'.[/B]
...of sucking!
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post #3 of 30
1/21/04 at 9:34pm
I don't get this Uwe guy. I really don't understand him. Or how he can talk all those people into giving him all that cash. Or why he seems determined to give video game to film adaptations an even worse name.

But he also fascinates me in a totally fucked up and morbid way.

And as long as he stays away from any properties that I care about he is entitled to his cinematic kingdom of asstastic lunacy.
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post #4 of 30
1/21/04 at 10:38pm
I think he made a couple of features before he got around to House of the Dead... anyone see them?

I'm assuming they're big pile of piss, but I'm still a little curious...
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post #5 of 30
1/21/04 at 10:46pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Untamed Aggression
I think he made a couple of features before he got around to House of the Dead... anyone see them?

I'm assuming they're big pile of piss, but I'm still a little curious...
Here is list (copied and pasted from IMDB, where YOU could of done the research!!!)
Heart of America (2003)
Blackwoods (2002)
Sanctimony (2000)
Erste Semester, Das (1997)
Barschel - Mord in Genf? (1993)
Amoklauf (1992)
German Fried Movie (1991)
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post #6 of 30
1/21/04 at 10:50pm
[South Park Canadian] Fuck you buddy! [/South Park Candian]

I was asking if anyone had seen them.
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post #7 of 30
1/22/04 at 12:19am
Quote:
Originally posted by Untamed Aggression
[South Park Canadian] Fuck you buddy! [/South Park Candian]

I was asking if anyone had seen them.
Don't mind slasherfan. The bug up his ass died a couple of days ago and he still hasn't quite emotionally recovered from his loss.
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post #8 of 30
1/22/04 at 12:24am
Quote:
Originally posted by Addix
Don't mind slasherfan. The bug up his ass died a couple of days ago and he still hasn't quite emotionally recovered from his loss.
LOL
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post #9 of 30
1/22/04 at 12:40am
Quote:
Originally posted by Fireflyfan
LOL
Agreed.
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post #10 of 30
1/22/04 at 4:49am
Thread Starter 
Apparently he just grabbed hold of the lesbian action/horror game [B]Fear Effect[/].

http://www.comingsoon.net/news.php?id=3112
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post #11 of 30
1/22/04 at 5:48am
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that he will eventually buy the rights to make big screen versions of BIG MUTHA TRUCKERS, ECCO THE DOLPHIN, THE SIMS, MARBLE MADNESS and DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION ULTRAMIX.


Quote:
Sanctimony (2000)
Everyone should watch this movie just to witness Casper Van Dien do the absolute worst imitation of Christian Bale in AMERICAN PSYCHO ever witnessed by mankind. Easily one of the most hilariously bad performances I've ever seen. Also, he took Anthony Hopkins advice about how he never blinked when playing Hannibal Lektor to heart. Problem is, Hopkins made it scary whereas Van Dien just looks like a guy in a staring contest who really has to go pee but doesn't want to lose.
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post #12 of 30
1/22/04 at 11:28am
Quote:
Originally posted by slasherfan

Erste Semester, Das (1997)
Hm, I didn't know the guy made films in Germany before stinking up the US ...

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post #13 of 30
1/22/04 at 11:30am
Quote:
Originally posted by slasherfan

German Fried Movie (1991)
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post #14 of 30
1/22/04 at 11:31am
Quote:
Originally posted by slasherfan

Heart of America (2003)
"BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE was only the beginning ..."

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post #15 of 30
1/22/04 at 2:15pm
What's even more amazing is that according to his IMDB bio, Uwe Boll has a doctorate in literature. Well, he's certainly putting that to good use.
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post #16 of 30
1/22/04 at 2:17pm
Quote:
"BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE was only the beginning ..."
If you think about the context in which its being used that is easily the most nonsensical tagline I've seen for a movie.
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post #17 of 30
1/22/04 at 2:28pm
Are we in Hell? Cause this really, really sucks!
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post #18 of 30
1/22/04 at 4:26pm
I'm hoping for a commentary track on the House of the Dead DVD. If I can hear him explain (in very bad English) what the hell was his motivation for that epilepsy-inducing clusterfuck I just might buy that movie.
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post #19 of 30
1/22/04 at 4:50pm


I cant really even comment on this. Geeze what a fuckterd.
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post #20 of 30
1/22/04 at 5:02pm
The man's like a tidal wave...no juggernaught.....nay! A juggernaught tidal wave of destruction! For the love of god, stop this guy....


at least Blood Rayne sucked as a game.
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post #21 of 30
1/22/04 at 5:12pm
jes


he is a titlawave of suck


and Hollywood is his m00n
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post #22 of 30
1/22/04 at 5:14pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Fireflyfan
at least Blood Rayne sucked as a game.
But that game's about vamps, right? So sucking comes with the territory ...

However, no matter how bad the game was, Uwe's film will be much, much worse!
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post #23 of 30
1/22/04 at 5:25pm
I gotta say, it didn't TOTALLY suck as a game. It was kinda cool.....for a while. But halfway through your bored, because it is honestly one of the most repetitive games you will ever play with confusing level design. But it did have it's good points. And NO videogame deserves to get a movie done by the king of shitfest mountain. Not one.
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post #24 of 30
1/23/04 at 4:27am
Quote:
And NO videogame deserves to get a movie done by the king of shitfest mountain.
I don't think Boll is king yet. A duke maybe, but there are still others ahead of him. He needs a few more stinkers to become king.
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post #25 of 30
1/23/04 at 12:48pm

I think...

...he's trying to get as many films done as he can before people realize what a hack-y and terrible director he is.
Chris
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post #26 of 30
1/24/04 at 9:56am
Well, I made this for AICN's chatroom where i'm Archduke Chocula so, excuse if it's not my CHUD name but here goes

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post #27 of 30
1/24/04 at 2:14pm
I kinda hope this Boll guy won't become too famous. I don't even know how to pronounce his name...
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post #28 of 30
1/24/04 at 2:41pm
Quote:
I kinda hope this Boll guy won't become too famous. I don't even know how to pronounce his name...
We'll know for sure in a few days when the DVD comes out as he will introduce himself in the audio commentary.

For those looking to keep score Uwe Boll has the film rights to the following games:


HOUSE OF THE DEAD
ALONE IN THE DARK
BLOODRAYNE
DUNGEON SEIGE
FEAR EFFECT
HUNTER: THE RECKONING


Peronally, I'm hoping he picks up a few more because there's a couple of video games out there I'd really like to see this guy make into a movie:


BIG MUTHA TRUCKERS
ECCO THE DOLPHIN
ARCTIC THUNDER
CABELA'S DEER HUNT
DEF JAM VENDETTA
MARBLE MADNESS
DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION ULTRAMIX
INTELLIVISION LIVE


I'm waiting, Mr. Boll!
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post #29 of 30
1/24/04 at 3:50pm
I hope Mr.Boll picks up the rights to Leasure Suit Larry and turns it into a movie, and it's countless sequels! WOO HOO!!!
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post #30 of 30
1/24/04 at 4:45pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by foywonder


DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION ULTRAMIX
The German successor to Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo?
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