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What's your favorite quotable film?

post #1 of 45
2/14/04 at 4:10pm
Thread Starter 
I'm not asking for your favorite quote from a film, but the film you feel you can regurgitate lines from that cover the broad spectrum of human experience in everyday life.
One film, multiple quotes.

Begin.
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post #2 of 45
2/14/04 at 4:11pm
As always, Wonder Boys.
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post #3 of 45
2/14/04 at 4:12pm
National Lampoon's Vacation
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post #4 of 45
2/14/04 at 4:17pm
Thread Starter 
Oh, I should of also mentioned to give us a few examples of quotes and at least try to explain why your movie is unbeatable quotes-wise...I'll give mine in a short time, as my stomach calls!!

See you in 10.
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post #5 of 45
2/14/04 at 4:28pm
Wonder Boys

Grady Tripp: She's a transvestite.
Terry Crabtree: You're stoned.
Grady Tripp: She's still a transvestite.

--

James Leer: It's just... for good luck. Some people carry rabbits' feet...
Grady Tripp: ...You carry firearms.

--

James Leer: Now, that is a big trunk. It holds a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly.
Grady Tripp: That's just what they used to say in the ads.

--

Grady Tripp: Well, he did say a few things that made me believe it WAS his car.
Terry Crabtree: Like what?
Grady Tripp: "That's my car, motherfucker."

--

James Leer: No thanks. I'm fine without them.
Grady Tripp: Right. That's why you were standing in the Chancellor's back yard twirling that little cap gun of yours tonight. You're fine, all right, you're fit as a fucking fiddle.

--

James Leer: These are incredible. Incredible!
Grady Tripp: Finish the rest of that joint, James, you can start chewing on the box.

--

So many, but those are the best ones. I can hear these quotes coming sarcastically from just about anyone thrown into an awkward situation. Dealing with the pressure/awkardness would make these gold.
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post #6 of 45
2/14/04 at 4:43pm
Caddyshack.

Call it a lack of imagination, but the phrase "...so I've got that goin' for me. Which is nice." echoes around my workplace constantly.

Along with more specific taunts:

"Look at this <clothing article>; I bet when you buy it, you get a bowl of soup with it. Oh, but it looks good on you." (mocking whatever someone may be wearing)

"You're a good kid Noonan. Pick up that blood."

References to "Mitch Cumstein" as the culprit for mistakes

"Well, the world needs ditch diggers too." (ripping on those in lower positions)

"I don't think the hard stuff is gonna come down for a while yet." (handy when working in the rain or snow)

"Can I talk to ya.....Frank?"
"Ty...Frank...."

One of my coworkers tells me everytime I mention swinging by his house that "the pond would be good for you."
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post #7 of 45
2/14/04 at 5:27pm
The Big Lebowski

The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
The Dude: What the fuck you talking about?

The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

Walter Sobchak: This is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

The Dude: Let me explain something to you. I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So, that's what you call me. You know, that, or his dudeness, or duder, or el duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: No, you're not wrong.
Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: You're not wrong, Walter! You're just an asshole!

All that beauty and I didn't even have to include a Jesus or Mr. Lebowski quote.
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post #8 of 45
2/14/04 at 5:29pm
Thread Starter 
My favorite, without a doubt is Bruce Robinson's 'Withnail & I'...not sure if many of our trans-Atlantic bretheren have seen this, but the script is literally quotable from beginning to end. Every sentence is a zinger

For example...



"My thumbs have gone weird! I'm in the middle of a fucking holocaust!"

"How DARE you!"

"Exactly...what happened to my Cigar commercial? What happened to my agent? Bastard must have died,"

"As a youth I used to weep in butchers shops,"

"We want the finest wines avalible to humanity, we want them here and we want them now,"

"Alright, I'll give him a call, what's his number?"
"I don't know I never met him,"
"Well, neither have I, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Monty you terrible cunt!"

"GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!!"

"We've gone on holiday by mistake"

"I'm in a park and I'm practically dead'

"Don't threaten me with a dead fish"

"I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!"

"2 pound ten a tit, and a fiver for his arse"

"This doll has voodoo properties"

"Street name - the EMBALMER!"

"The sky is beginning to bruise and we shall be forced to camp!"

"I want somthings flesh!!"

"We are multimillionaires, we will buy this place and fire you all!"

"Liar,.... you've got anti-freeze!!!"

"'I fuck arses.' Who fucks arses? Maybe he fucks arses...!! "

"Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day .."

"I've been watching you. Especially you, prancin like a tit. You need working on boy! "

"Boy, ...boy... I know your not asleep, boy."

"PONCE!!!"

"I feel like a pig shat in my head!!"

"I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees."

"If I medicined you you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present."

"Scrubbers!"
-"Up yours grandad!"

"Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths, the wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it... "

"We'll get in their and get wrecked. Then we'll eat a pork pie. Then we'll go home and drop a couple of surmontil 50s. That way we'll miss out monday but come up smiling on tuesday"

"So you are thespian, too?"

"Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. Time change. You lose, you gain. It makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. And all at once those frozen hours melt though the nervous system and seep out the pours." (Ok that's not really just one line).

"I hope tobacco sales plummet."

"If I medicined you, you think a brain tumour was a birthday present!"

"Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile!"

"You can stuff it up arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it!"

"If I spike you you'll know you've been spoken to."

"I have a heart condition. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder."
"I'LL MURDER THE PAIR OF YOUS!"
(feeble whimpering voice)"My wife is having a baby."

"Listen I don't know what my frien... aquaintence did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly... in the street. AAAAHHHHH!"

"Look at that. Look at that! Accident black spot? These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness!"

"If I see that silage heap hanging about up here I'll take the bastard axe to him! BASTARDS!"

"The greatest decade in the history of mandkind is coming to an end. And as Presuming Ed has so consistently pointed out: we Have failed to Paint it black"

"Old suit. How dare you. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix"

"You're looking very gorgeous man. Have you been away?"

" I'm not having this shag sack insulting me; let him get his drugs out"

"I'll say one thing for Monty. He keeps a sensational cellar"

"15 million Londeners have to wake up to this and murder and all-bran and rape. And I'm stuck in this bloody shack and i can't even cope with Withnail. I must be losing my mind. I must go home and discuss his problems in depth"

"You've got soup. Why didn't i get any soup?"
-"Its coffee"
-"Why don't you use a cup like any other human being"
-"Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being"
-"How dare you. How dare you. How dare you call ME inhumane. Right you fuucker. I'm going to do the washing up"

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!"
-"I told you. You've been bitten"
-"Burnt!! Burnt!! The fucking kettles on fire"

"Here Hare Here"

-"Offer yourself to him"

"What absolute twaddle"

"Look at him. Look at Jeff Wode. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. Imagine the size of his balls. Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker"
-"Please I don't feel well"
-"Thats what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Jeff....No... 'I'm going to rip your head off', 'No please don't rip my head off', 'I'm going to rip your head off because I don't like your head"

"I often wonder where Norman is now. Probably wintering in Guildford with his mother"

"Here's a man with half and inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me"

"Balls to Monty?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING PROWLING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT?!"

"We mean no harm!"

.
.
.
.
.
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Possibly my favourite film of all time...Not neccessarily the best, but the film I've watched the most in my life...

...I just viewed the 'trailer' they have for this on the Internet Movie Database...God, is it SHITE!!!
I'll see if I can find a better one, that reflects the film, more...
ahhh, this is more in tune!

http://www.anchorbay.co.uk/perl/search.pl?CO=ABD4006
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post #9 of 45
2/14/04 at 6:13pm
Wow Hertz, you may have just quoted the entire film there.
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post #10 of 45
2/14/04 at 7:31pm
National Lampoon's Vacation:


Clark: Could I do your back, honey?
Ellen Griswold: I've already done my back.
Clark: Could I do your front?


Audrey Griswold: Mom, where can I go to the bathroom!?
Ellen Griswold: Find a bush Audrey!

Motorcycle Cop: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state?
Clark: No, sir, I don't.
Motorcycle Cop: Well... it's probably pretty stiff.


Clark: We're from out of town.
Man: No shit.

Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark?
Clark: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.
Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun.



Ellen Griswold: I honestly don't think we're going to find the Grand Canyon on this road.
Clark: Jesus, it's only the biggest God-damn hole in the world.
Aunt Edna: Clark, watch your language!
Clark: Make that the second biggest.



Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.



Eddie: I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn't you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough.

Clark: Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes... or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?



Aunt Edna: Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie? He sure as Hell can't take a hint.
Cousin Eddie: Well, I didn't want to ask you, Clark, you know, but could you maybe spare a little extra cash?
Clark: Sure, Eddie, how much do you need?
Cousin Eddie: About fifty-two thousand dollars.

Ellen Griswold: Clark, let's just skip the house of mud. I think Dodge City was enough for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us.
Clark: It's living history Ellen. But if you'd rather see your cousins it's okay by me. Personally I'd rather see a pile of mud than Eddie.


Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!


Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya.



Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: That's not a real gun, is it Clark?
Clark: Are you kidding this is a Magnum P.I.
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Its a BB gun. You couldn't even break the skin with that thing.

Clark: I don't give a frog's fat ass who went through what. We need money! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna's purse?

Rusty Griswold: Mom, my sandwich is all wet.
Ellen Griswold: They're all wet...Oh God!...The dog wet on the picnic basket.

Rusty Griswold: Hey, ya' got Pac Man?
Cousin Dale: No.
Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Space Invaders?
Cousin Dale: Nope.
Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids?
Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.



In Cousin Normy's backyard in the pouring rain
Ellen Griswold: We can't leave Aunt Edna on the patio!
Clark: Would you prefer I slip her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?



Clark: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the express way?
Pimp: Fuck yo mama!
Clark: Thank you very much.


Clark: We passed a God damn gas station every 10 yards for 1000 miles, but when you really need one, you end up walking your ass off. This is no way to run a desert!


Aunt Edna: Are we gonna eat, or are we gonna starve to death?

Clark: Roll 'em up!

Clark: Russ, it's really great that I can spend time with you and...uh...uh....uh....
Rusty: Audry, Dad.

Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick!
Ellen Griswold: I thought you enjoy fruitcake.
Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes?



Aunt Edna: Is this your idea of a good restaurant? Dog killer!



Lasky: Has your father ever killed anyone?
Rusty: Just a dog. Oh and my Aunt Edna.
Clark: Hey you can't prove that Russ.
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post #11 of 45
2/14/04 at 7:36pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by L7 Productions
Wow Hertz, you may have just quoted the entire film there.
Actually, no where near...I left the good stuff for you to see/hear for yourselves...
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post #12 of 45
2/14/04 at 7:39pm
LXG
Moulin Rouge!
The Star Wars series
Batman Forever
Mallrats
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
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post #13 of 45
2/14/04 at 8:58pm
John Carpenter's Vampires.

"Eh, fuck you, Padre."
"Jaaaaack Crow."
"When I was [blank] back there, did you get a little wood?"
"You...truly are a steaming pile of dog shit, cardinal."
"FUCKING BITCH!"
"Don't make me come over there and beat the shit out of you, padre."
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post #14 of 45
2/14/04 at 9:25pm
Quote:
Originally posted by DexterLakeClub
The Big Lebowski

The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
The Dude: What the fuck you talking about?

The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

Walter Sobchak: This is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

The Dude: Let me explain something to you. I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So, that's what you call me. You know, that, or his dudeness, or duder, or el duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: No, you're not wrong.
Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: You're not wrong, Walter! You're just an asshole!

All that beauty and I didn't even have to include a Jesus or Mr. Lebowski quote.
damn, that is pretty quotable.
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post #15 of 45
2/14/04 at 9:35pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Rath/Brendan
John Carpenter's Vampires.

"Eh, fuck you, Padre."
"Jaaaaack Crow."
"When I was [blank] back there, did you get a little wood?"
"You...truly are a steaming pile of dog shit, cardinal."
"FUCKING BITCH!"
"Don't make me come over there and beat the shit out of you, padre."
Basically all of James Woods' scenery chewing is quotable, to me.
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post #16 of 45
2/14/04 at 9:53pm
I find Lebowski has the most fun quotes... but Fear and Loathing has the best...

these are endlessly usable in everyday life

"Did you see what god just did to us, man?"

"You're a fucking narcotics agent."

"Nothing, I want nothing."

"Dogs fucked the pope. No fault of mine."

"Don't take any guff from these fucking swine."

"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

"We've gotta get out of here. I'm getting the fear, man."

"Holy Jesus! What are these goddamned animals?"

"We're your friends. We're not like the others, man. Really."


These have less applicability, but they're great quotes.

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "

"You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands. "

"And that, I think, was the handle- that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting- on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the highwater mark- the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back. "

"With a bit of luck his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know"

"Bazookos Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich."

"We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold."

" What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of permanent cripples. Failed seekers who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the acid culture: the desperate assumption that somebody, or at least some force -is tending the light at the end of the tunnel. "
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post #17 of 45
2/15/04 at 9:14pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Del Griffith
National Lampoon's Vacation:
"I don't know why they call it 'Hamburger Helper' when it does just fine by itself"
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post #18 of 45
2/16/04 at 9:43am
Zoolander.

"He's so hot right now!"

-----

"You think you're too cool for school? Well, news flash, Walter Cronkite. . . you're not."

-----

"I became. . . bulemic."
"You can read minds?!"

-----

"You know what could help you sort through these important issues? An ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPACHINO!"

-----

"Merman, pop! MerMAN!!!"

-----

"Moisture is the essence of wetness... and wetness is the essence of beauty."
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post #19 of 45
2/16/04 at 11:49am
Not like this will shock anyone, but I'm gonna say Ghostbusters:

"Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance."

"You don't act like a scientist."
"They're usually pretty stiff."

"That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there."
"What a crime."

"Are honestly supposed to go in fornt of a federal judge and tell him that some moldy Babylonian God is about to drop down on Central Park West and start tearing up the city?!"
"Sumarian, not Babylonian."
"Yeah, big difference."

"We came, we saw, we kicked its ASS!"

"He slimed me."

"Ok. So? She's a dog."

"For whatever reason, Ray, call it..faith, call it luck, call it karama. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown outta this dump."

"The effect? I'll tell you what the effect is! It's pissing me off!"

"I collect spores, molds and fungus."

"I want you inside me."
"Go ahead *laughs* No, I think there's at least two people in there already, it might be a little bit crowded."

"Take me now, sub-creature."
"We never talk anymore."

"Do you want this body?"
"Is this a trick question?"

"I have seen SHIT that'll turn you WHITE."

"Everything was fine with our system until the power was shut off by dickless here."
"They caused the explosion!"
"Is this true?"
"Yes, your honor, it's true. This man has no dick."

"Mother puss-bucket."

"Don't cross the streams."
"Why?"
"It would be bad."
"I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What'dya mean, 'bad'?"
"Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."
"Total protonic reversal!"
"Ok, that's bad. Alright, important safety tip, thank you, Egon."

"Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!!"

"Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown."

"This Mr. Stay-Puft is OK, he's a sailor, he's in New York. We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble."

"OK, who brought the dog?"

Is it sad that I typed all of that from memory?
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post #20 of 45
2/16/04 at 4:18pm
Three films: Ghostbusters, Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs.
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post #21 of 45
2/16/04 at 9:15pm
Very surprised that Army of Darkness and Supertroopers have not been mentioned. Got my copy of the Supertroopers DVD packed with the Office Space DVD at Costco for 15 bucks, what a deal.

I think that the quotes from Army of Darkness are well known, specially to gamers.

Ash: Grooovy !

Ash: Gimme some sugar, baby.

Ash: Yo, she bitch!

Ash: First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.

Ash: Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

and many more.

Supertroopers, I found about it in AICN and CHUD, really fun movie and it gave us gems such like this:

Thorny: Do you smell something Rabbit?
Rabbit: Fear!

Farva: Litre is french for give me some fucking cola.

Thorny: Littering and... littering and... smokin' the reefer.

But the movie I keep remembering from its quotes is that classic Remo Williams: The adventure begins with Fred Ward as Remo Williams, the undercover agent for a secret US government agency and Joel Grey as Chiun, Korean master of the greatest martial art known to man and burdened with the job of training Remo.

Chiun: It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi-... monosoti...
Remo Williams: Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it.
Chiun: I can say "rat droppings." That does not mean I want to eat them.


{Remo dangles from a car on the Wonder Wheel]
Remo Williams: Jesus.
Chiun: Concentrate. This is no time for prayer.

Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you.
Chiun: Of course. I am Chiun.
Remo Williams: And there are times when I could really kill you.
Chiun: Good. We will practice that after dinner.

Chiun: Professional assassination. It's the highest form of public service.

And my favorite:

Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, you're a real pain in the ass.
Chiun: That is because it is the fastest way to your brain.
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post #22 of 45
2/17/04 at 12:35am
The Big Lebowski is one of my favorites but I have to go with Dazed and Confused.

Slater: Are you cool man?
Mitch: Like..how?
Slater: ...okay.

Mr. Payne: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle, "Men! Fifty of you are leavin on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back."

Darla: What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch.

History teacher: Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.

Carl: That was our last junior high dance. We're freshmen. All the girls'll be putting out.

Dawson: Do you spit or swallow?
Freshman Girl: Whatever you like.
Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.

Wooderson: You just gotta keep on livin, man. L-I-V-I-N.

Slater: Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man when he come in the door, man she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

Shavonne: You swear you're not gonna get mad?
Darla: I'm not gonna get mad, I think it's a riot. I don't care what she thinks.
Simone: Just tell us.
Shavonne: She called you a bitch and you a slut.
Simone: A slut? She called me a slut? That bitch!
Shavonne: Everybody calls you a slut.
Darla: Oh shit!
Simone: That bitch! I'm gonna kick her ass. What a bitch.
Shavonne: You said you weren't gonna get mad.
Simone: I'm not mad.

Wooderson: Alright, alright, alright.

Dawson: Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place. Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.

Tony: So you're not gonna go to law school? What do you wanna do then?
Mike: I wanna dance!

Slater: Imagine how many people are out there right now, fuckin'. Just goin at it.

Mike: Dominant male monkey motherfucker.

Pink: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?
Don: I don't know. A few, I guess.

Wooderson: Say man, you got a joint?
Mitch: No, not on me man.
Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you did.

O'Bannion: This first lick I'd like to dedicate to your mother....fucker.

Dawson: Did you hear O'Bannion failed?
Pink: Yeah, what a dumbshit.

And the best one of all:

Wooderson: That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
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post #23 of 45
2/17/04 at 2:57am
the best would have to be Monty Python and The search for the holy grail and Top Secret.
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post #24 of 45
2/17/04 at 9:55am
ford friggin' fairlane!

"i'm so terrifical, i even have my own toll-free number: 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE!"

"talking to zuzu was like masturbating with a cheesegrater: slightly amusing, but mostly painful"

"so many assholes... so few bullets"

"some people play hard to get. i play hard to want"

"you've got to shave before you leave the house in a dress like that... and i don't mean your legs!"

-"scalping at a funeral. you're a pretty sleazy guy."
-"thanks. you interested? it's festival seating."
-"yeah, yeah. how much?"
-"300"
-"300?!?!? you just charged those chicks 100!"
-"hey, they blew me"
-"300, comin' up!".

"i could have been anything. i could have been a fisherman. fishermen, they get up in the morning, they fish, they sell fish, they smell fish. reminds me of a girl i used to go out with, yvonne; she smelled like fish."
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post #25 of 45
2/17/04 at 3:38pm
Office Space.

"You know the nazi's had pieces of flare. Yeah, they made the jews were them."

"Somebody has a case of the mondays!"

"yeah, that would be great."
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post #26 of 45
2/23/04 at 1:41pm
Full Metal Jacket
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post #27 of 45
3/18/04 at 3:39pm
I second Full Metal Jacket.

And I offer BOTTLE ROCKET...

Dignan: What a lemon! One minute it's running like a top, and the next it's broken down on the side of the road. And I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this!

Anthony: Maybe we should've robbed your house. You ever think of that?
Dignan: You know there's nothing to steal from my mom and Craig!

Dignan: They'll never catch me... because I'm fucking innocent.

Bob: Wha-- why is there tape on your nose?
Dignan: Exactly!

Dignan: [points to Bob] He's out.
[points to Anthony]
Dignan: And you're out, too. And I dont think I'm in, either. No gang!

Dignan: Okay. There, you see the star is me, right there, and I'll be in there. The X is Anthony. Bob, you're the zero out here in the car.

Kumar: Man, I blew it. I blew it, man.
Anthony: Kumar, what were you doing in the freezer?
Kumar: I don't know, man, I lose my touch, man.
Dignan: Did you ever have a touch to lose, man?

Dignan: We'll get him. We'll get him. Man, dont worry about that, we'll get him. And when we do, we'll blow up his car, do something. I can guarantee you that. What makes me furious is thinking about the look on Bob's fat face, thinking he pulled one over on us. I tell you another thing. If our paths cross again, you're gonna see a side of Dignan that you havent seen before. A sick, sadistic side, cause I'm furious at Bob.

Dignan: Bob Mapplethorpe, potential get-away driver: go!
Bob: Well, I think there's a real air of mystery about me.
Dignan: Don't complicate it. Your number one strength is you have a car you can provide. Sell yourself! Start over. Ready, go!
Bob: Okay, alright. I'm a risk taker! I'm growin' an entire crop of marijuana plants in my parents back yard! I think that shows...
Dignan: Wait, you're growing an entire crop of marijuana in your back yard?
Bob: Dignan, look. I'm just not very good at this selling-yourself stuff, okay? So, I'm just gonna tell you the truth. I really wanna be a part of this team. And I'm the only one with a car.
Dignan: That's good. That's good. 'Cause that hits me right here.

Anthony: So, did you enjoy your first visit to the nut house?
Dignan: Hey, hey, shh, shh, shh. Come on. Be sensitive to the fact that other people are not comfortable talking about emotional disturbances. Um, you know, I am, I'm fine with that, but... other people.

Bob: Uno situación mi familia! Dignan does not want to deal with it, could you please come outside for a minute?

Dignan: Pointless act! You don't give a 500 dollar tip to the housekeeper! That's inappropriate! That's inexcusable! That, I don't forgive! What were you thinking? What were you thinking?

Dignan: On the run from Johnny Law... ain't no trip to Cleveland.

Guy in bathroom: Hey, you're in the Army, yes?
Dignan: No, I just have short hair.

Anthony: One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.

Anthony: Fact: Dignan, the picture's not doing it for me right now.
Dignan: Well does the fact that I'm trying to do it do it for you?

Dignan: You, my dear friend, are a damn fool.

Future Man: I don't suppose either one of you know why Bob's car is here?
Anthony: Uh... yeah, he's *here*

Future Man: Bob, you were told to thoroughly clean the pool!

Dignan: A bigger bag you idiot!
Book Store Manager: Don't call me an idiot, you punk!
Dignan: Do you have a bigger bag for maps and atlases... sir?

Dignan: I don't think your happiness is quite appropriate.

Bob: Jack, I'm 26 years old, I didn't run away from home.

Future Man: What are you wearing? You look like a little banana.

Anthony: Did you see what he was wearing?
Dignan: Yeah...it was pretty cool.

Anthony: Grace thinks I'm a failure.
Dignan: What? What has she ever accomplished in her life that's so great?

Dignan: Son of a bitch! Anthony! Anthony! Bob stole his car! He flew the coop while we were sleepin'!

Dignan: How does an asshole like Bob get such a great kitchen?

Bob to Dignan & Anthony: Can I get you guys something to drink?
Dignan: Uh yeah, I'll have a Tom Collins.

Mr. Henry: I hope I don't offend you by saying this, but your brother's a cocksucker.
Bob: No, that doesn't offend me.

Dignan: What do you think I was doing the whole time you were out there man? I told you Dignan got fired, out on his ass. But you didn't think about that, did you. In the end it's easier to think about yourself than it is to think about Dignan.

Anthony: I realllly don't want to be doing this robbery
Bob: Man, neither do I!

Rocky: Tell Anthony I love him
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post #28 of 45
3/18/04 at 11:16pm

Heathers

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw"

" Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of swatchdogs and diet Coke heads. Killer Heather would be like offing the Wicked Witch of the West. Or is it the East? Wst!. I sound like a fucking psycho. Tommorow I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight let me dream of a world without Heather. A world where I am free."

"I love my dead gay son!"

"Why don't you call me when the shuttle lands"

"Heather told me she teaches people real life. She said real life sucks losers dry. If you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly."

"How very"

"Save the speeches for Malcolm X. I just wanna get laid"

"What's your damage? Brad says you're being a real cooze"
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post #29 of 45
3/19/04 at 2:09am
Glenngarry Glenn Ross, if mainly for Alec Baldwin's speech. I've actually memorized the entire thing.

The Big Lebowski and Cabin Fever are the others.
Lebowski quotes have been mentioned.

Cabin Fever -
Anything said by the Deputy.
Screaming PANCAKES!
Why are you shooting squirrels? Because They're gay!
Faced! Scratch Molded!

Super Troopers is another. Hence, the Shoe Police thing in my profile.
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post #30 of 45
3/19/04 at 6:24pm
Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, and Lebowski all contributed greatly to my lexicon.
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post #31 of 45
3/19/04 at 6:49pm
I love quotable movies. And there are so many of them. A few of my favorites:

The Big Lebowski
Scarface
Christine
The Silence of the Lambs
A Fish Called Wanda
Repo Man
The Thing
The Shining
Jaws
Pulp Fiction
Taxi Driver
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post #32 of 45
3/20/04 at 6:48pm
I actually find myself quoting Armageddon more and more lately:

"Harry. Guess what. You had your shot. You didn't do it."

"YOU AND YOUR MEN ARE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE HISTORY OF NASA!"

"This is one order you shouldn't follow and you FUCKING KNOW IT."

"Give this to Truman...make sure Truman gets that."

"Get off the nuclear warhead."

"He's got space demensia!"
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post #33 of 45
3/21/04 at 10:01pm
Armageddon? Boo this man!!
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post #34 of 45
3/22/04 at 1:13am
I always find myself saying "You would be punctillious in assuming that," from Kingpin, and of course "Bitches leave."
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post #35 of 45
3/23/04 at 3:53am
Gangs Of New York.

Bill The Butcher:

"I don't give a tupenny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit-sack."

"Whoopsy daisy!!"

"Don't mind him. He used to be an Irishman."

"I'm going to paint paradise square with his blood. Two coats."

other movies include:

Fight Club
Snatch
Pulp Fiction
etc...
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post #36 of 45
3/23/04 at 8:49pm
Half Baked
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post #37 of 45
3/25/04 at 5:55pm
I agree w/ Full Metal Jacket and the Big Lebowski (and a bunch of others - but those two are high up there)

How about Tommy Boy?

Tommy: I was just checkin' the specks.... on the inline.... for the rotary.....girder - I'm retarded.

Tommy: Gee, Helen, that's nice. You look like a Helen. Helen, let me tell you why I SUCK as a salesman. Lets say I'm trying to sell you something and you're even remotely interested. Well then I get ALL excited, like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. I love it and hold it and stroke it and massage it and 'you're naughty' you're a naughty little pet and then BWCKKKTTT

AARGGHHH I killed it! I KILLED MY PET!! NOOOOO.... and that's when I blow it.

Did you eat paint chips as a kid?

Heh heh heh heh heh heh -- why?


Brothers don't shake hands... brothers gotta HUG!!!

John Hancock? It's HERBIE HANCOCK.. Deeeeee.


LalalalalalaLUKE... I am your FA-THER....

Does this tie make me look fat?
No- your face does.

It's called reading.. words lined up side to side, makes a sentence. Left to right, up to down. Take aspirin for any headaches, midol for any cramps.


There's way more:
the "Housekeeping" scene
the "Guarantee Fairy"
the "Meat Wagon"

etc.
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post #38 of 45
3/25/04 at 6:05pm
PCU. About an hour and ten minutes of solid gold.

That's the beauty of college these days. You can major in GameBoy if you know how to bullshit.

Go to sleep!!!! It's time for sleep!!! Ahhhh!!!

I...didn't exhale?

Thanks for the party...Oppressors!

Funk you very much, too.

That's not a protest, that's a cry for help!

Here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before 11. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink a lot of it. You have a car? Someone on your hall will. Find him and make friends with him on the first day. Women: your a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question.

The hippie Olympics. Doesn't matter who wins, cause they're all losers.

You dated a white male?

and of course:

This is what you're wearing to the show? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're gonna go see? DON'T BE THAT GUY.

Words to live by. There is nothing worse than being THAT GUY.
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post #39 of 45
3/31/04 at 1:40am
True Romance
Fight Club
Monty Python (the holy grail & life of brian)
and
The Silent Movie (for the times i want quiet)
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post #40 of 45
3/31/04 at 4:53pm
oh eraserhead.. hehe. want some chicken?
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post #41 of 45
3/31/04 at 8:12pm
Pulp Fiction:

Jules: Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill sheaperds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brothers keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with GREAT veangence and FURIOUS anger, those who attempt to POISON and DESTROY my brothers, and you will know my name is the lord, when I lay my vengence upon thee!!!!
__________________________________________________ __
Cab Driver:What's your name?
Butch: Butch
Cab Driver: What does it mean?
Butch: I'm American, honey, our names don't mean shit.
__________________________________________________ __
The Wolf: The only reason I'm being curt is because time is a factor, so pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fuckin car
__________________________________________________ __
Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me how good my coffee is ok? I'm the one who buys it, I know how fucking good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping, Bonnie buys shit! I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I wanna taste it! But you wanna know what's on my mind right now? It ain't the fucking coffee! It's the dead ****** in my garage!
__________________________________________________ __
Jules: What country are you from Brett?
Brett: W-What?
Jules: What? What ain't no country I ever heard of! Do they speak English in What?
Brett: W-What?
Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?
Brett: What?
Jules (points gun at him) Say what one more goddamn time! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! SAY WHAT ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!!! So tell me what does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brett: He's black..... he's bald
Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
Brett: What?
Jules: (shoots Brett in arm) DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?!!
Brett: No!!
Jules: Then why's you try to fuck him like one?
Brett: No!
Jules: Yes you did Brett! You tryed to fuck him! and Marcellus Wallce doesn't like to be fucked by anybody except for Mrs. Wallace!
__________________________________________________ __
Marcellus: What now? I'm goin to call me a couple hard, pipe-hittin ******s, to go to work on the holmes here with a blow-torch and a pair of pliars. You here me talking to you hill-billy boy?! I'm not done with you by a damn sight. I'ma get midevil on your ass!
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post #42 of 45
4/1/04 at 3:51am
1. Blazing Saddles

Bart: Mornin', ma'am. And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Elderly woman: Up yours n****r.

Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.

Charlie: They said you was hung.
Bart: And they was right.

Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.

Jim: Then one day I hear "Reach for it mister." I spun around, and there I was standing face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just laid down my guns and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass.

2. Big Trouble In Little China

Jack Burton: You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell

Jack Burton: Everybody relax, I'm here

Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Jack Burton: Son of a bitch must pay!

3.) Fletch
Fletch: I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.

Fletch: I'm John.
Gail Stanwyk: Ohhhh, John. John who?
Fletch: John Cock... tos... ton.
Gail Stanwyk: That's a beautiful name.
Fletch: It's Scotch/Romanian.
Gail Stanwyk: That's an odd combination.
Fletch: So were my parents.

Fletch: Using the whole fist, Doc?

Waiter: Would you like to order something, sir. I will put it on the Underhills' bill.
Fletch: Oh, yes. Very well. I'll have a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich and a... steak sandwich.

Fletch: Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

4.) The Jerk
Navin R. Johnson: I was born a poor black child

Navin R. Johnson: He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans.

Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here. The new phone book's here. This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now.


sorry for the long post...but also anything with bill murray (caddyshack, ghostbusters, rushmore...etc) army of darkness and full metal jacket are also musts
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post #43 of 45
4/1/04 at 4:04am
I tend to quote The Road Warrior a lot, particularly Humungous.

Then there's Casablanca, too.
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post #44 of 45
4/1/04 at 5:08pm
Both LEBOWSKI and MILLER'S CROSSING get quoted a lot by me. Gotta love the Coens.
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post #45 of 45
4/2/04 at 11:20pm
might be a bit juvenille but some of my favorite quotes come from teenage mutant ninja turtles.

A jose canseco bat. tell me you didnt pay money for this?

Good thing these guys arent lumber jacks. No joke, the only thing safe in the world would be the trees

Tell me, do you like penicillin on your Pizza

I thought i'd redecorate. a couple throw pillows a tv news reporter whadda ya think.

ahhh a fellow chukker eh

Wayne Gretzky, on steroids?

does anybody know who or what this is? i dont know, but i bet he never has to look for a can opener

maybe all that hardwares for making cole slaw.

Your guys must be studying the abridged book of ninja fighting

i dont this this is such a good time, stucturally speaking for you buddies to drop in

It slices, it dices, and yet makes french fries in 3 different: whoops

bossa nova. chevy nova? excellent!!

DAAAAAAMN !!!

all from memory. dont know if i should be proud or what
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